Saturday 13 May 2017

CHEATING PARTNER ALERT : The Only Person That Can Break Your Home Is The One You or Your Partner Allow IN! (BE CAREFUL WHO YOU REFER TO AS A "HOME BREAKER"!)

We certainly create our personal realities with our beliefs and personal life experiences and I really have no doubt about that.

I never had an intention of forcing my own beliefs on  anyone,especially when it comes to love and marriage, and I don't believe in "right/wrong":it is all matter of our personal perspectives.

If a woman convinced  herself that "all men cheat",she did it to justify what she allowed herself go through and such woman will never accept any other truth because it would shift her out of the comfort zone she created for herself to function in such relationship. 
And there can no be any further argument.Different life experiences bring us different realities.

However,if you truly believe that infidelity is a normal,usual something all of us must live with ("every man cheats" etc) and you simply settled for it,as you believe it's an ultimate fact,and if you,at the same time,found a way to live with such reality and be happy and protect your peace of mind ,then I am happy that you are feeling good and fulfilled because that is a purpose of life.Hey,whatever rocks your boat. 

But if  such relationship makes you feel bitter,insecure,sad,miserable,depressed,anxious and angry,then you have a problem because I do not believe you were brought into this world to suffer. 

I for sure know that your whole anger and frustration is directed towards them bitches that can not respect the fact that he is taken but.....It's not a side chick that is a source of your issue. 
Let's be real: one will go ,another one will come. You already know.

Note,no one can break your home unless you or your partner open door for them and allow them in. 

That is why I truly believe that "home breaker" is actually a married person that decides to get himself (herself) into an affair. 

Most of you justify man's actions (just for the sake of his sex)and at the same time put the whole blame on them women for "daring" to seduce a "poor little naive,innocent thing". I am a married woman sef,but this way of thinking doesn't make much sense to me and I will explain you why.


Yes and unfortunately,women's solidarity is not familiar to every female and some girls do not care if men they are after are married or not,BUT,honestly,that "side chick" doesn't have any obligation towards your home (unless she is maybe your family member or a close friend). 


The person that has obligation to protect and keep your home safe is most likely the same person you decided to build it with.  Yes ,your partner. 

Clearly,it was not that other woman that committed to you but your "other half" did. (unless you guys willingly and mutually agreed on polygamy or open relationship). So whatever the third lady does has nothing to do with you. But the way your partner responds,does!

Don't ever get me wrong,I never said it's ok for girls to chase after married men for which ever reason,but the person who should be an adult and responsible enough not to put your home to risk is that human being you call your man because it's his home as well.
Last time I have checked,it's not by force to have an affair. Both men and women get involved in such with their good and free will.

However,ask yourself : can you spend the rest of your life in misery and bitterness ,comparing yourself to all sorts of different women you have found in his phone,doubting your worth and credibility as a woman, threatening,hating and spying on "side chicks" and shouting to leave your man alone and have a heavy heart every time he comes home late? 

I am asking you now: Is that a life? 
I am not telling you how to live your life,but if your heart can not handle such treatment, then let go of it. Stop convincing yourself that it can not get better then that because "all men.." ...blah.

In my opinion,I do not think that two people can build a life together if honesty lacks.No one is perfect,but TRUST is a must for me.

Personally, I think infidelity has nothing to do with sex. Men and women both equally cheat for different reasons,just that women know how to hide it better since infidelity was never a socially acceptable behavior for a woman as it was for a man all through the history.

And I do not even think that men have a higher or stronger libido then women (trust me!) so I do not buy all these biological theories that claim cheating as a part of men's DNA and nature. Everything is a question of choice.

But I am also very sure that there are faithful people out there (if that's what your heart really craves,do not settle for less). That is not an utopia.I know them. I meet them. There are real and honest men and women out there and it is very unfair to discredit them with "all men/women are the same....." kinda attitude just because you had a nasty,painful experience.


Infidelity is not a matter of circumstances or sex,it is determined with how highly loyalty is rated in your personal system of values . That is all.

I just don't think you should settle for anything that makes you unhappy,bitter and miserable just because you managed to convince yourself that it is the way it was supposed to be and that "everyone gets cheated on". Believe it or not,that is not always the case.

Remember, true happiness is an ultimate purpose of this our short life and not how we appear on the outside for others to judge us.  

Stop looking for who to blame while settling for being treated the way you did not dream of when you were a little girl. Focus on you. Your life is truly all about you and it is never too late to set your priorities in the way that will work for you the best .

There is no shame in the fact you refuse to settle for anything that does not please your soul. 

48 comments:

  1. LOL! Too valid!!

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  2. Love dis writeup keep it up

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  3. Awsome! U get brain sha

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  4. well done very meaningful

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  5. WAITING TO SEE WHO WILL ROAST HER FOR THIS WRITEUP . WOMEN CANT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND SMH

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    1. But why would they roast her?She is right in my opinion. Only bitter women that find it easier to hate on other females then to deal with their cheating partners would get furious. But I really agree with Sonia: It is not by force to stay with someone and allow him to treat u bad. We only get one life to live.

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    3. hildajack u too u r very stupid for suporting this useless prostitute very ugly thing

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  6. d best thing i got to see today online

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  7. U wan start revolution among women abi? SoSo for president

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  8. Exactly ma tots. ur man is the one who owes u loyalty n respect u should blame him not sidechicks like u said one wil go anotha one will come. who he sleeps wit is quite irrelevant point is that he has committed adultery n no one pointed gun to his head to do such. period

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  9. Sandra Ify Mellow14 May 2017 at 02:02

    Love you

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  10. sonia u are a stupid bitch

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    1. But Who Is Stupid Here?

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    2. Not cool at all. Watch your mouth!

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    3. You are the stupid coward that is calling a human being a bitch with no identity. Take your frustration to your husband

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  11. dirty prostitute

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  12. Some ppl need to stop hiding behind "anonymous" and find a chill button for themselves. Not nice ms or mr anonymous why so harsh

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  13. Some folks,for real for real! Take a sit if you don't have anything productive to share! Hey,Sonia,lovley platform . Topics are really on point! I agree with you much . Keep it up

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  14. Malia Amarechi16 May 2017 at 11:10

    Thanks for this dear

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  15. && u r right. Most of d tyms itz even married men acting thirsty n desperate out there trying to win single gals wit sweet mouth lies n gifts n money.

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  16. Hmmmm nigerians.... this is a taboo topic for our double standards but glad you brought it out

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  17. LOVE YOUUUUUUUU

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  19. We need more women that think this way, don't settle!!!

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  20. I am so sharing this... You are repeatedly pening down my thoughts. You are so damn good.

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  21. I love this.....God bless You

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  23. Wow! Thank God this is coming from a married woman so you are more than qualified to speak on this issue and speak some sense into most of our senseless, low self-esteem desperate housewives! If you were a single lady saying this they'd say you are talking shit and trying to excuse "husband snatchers" because you are probably one of them. I always tell people that women who can't hold their grown ass husbands responsible but would rather want to kill their fight another woman over her husbands are not only dumb but worthless and a disgrace to womanhood. You need to see how shamelessly they talk and excuse their husbands and be blaming the girl or side chick that their husband probably went crawling on his knees, say all sorts of convincing lies to and not to talk about the money aspect that they must have lavished on her just to woo her, and these women can't see through their husbands that they are the problem and not the other woman! They talk like their husband is some infant or an object that cannot process his thoughts or be held accountable for their actions. God bless insightful and wise women like you @SoniaOgbonna. Our women need to learn and do better. And until they learn to face their problems and channel their blames and frustrations rightly to the source these men will never change because the society and their wives literally absolve them of any blames. Smh

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