You know,when you don't know where you stand with someone you really care about.
It normally comes along with heartache,disappointments,overthinking,insecurities,doubts and terrible confusion and it is a quite torturing experience and somehow I am pretty sure most of you understand (from your personal experience) what I am talking about .
However, all these undefined relationships have somethings in common: firstly they make us wander so badly to the point where we feel like going crazy and secondly they always mean we settled for way less then we deserve and sooner or later everybody gets tired of it.
And that is where the actual problem starts.
How familiar this is?
You have finally decided to let it go and move on.
Clearly,there is no future . You are way too grown for children's play. You deserve better. Yes!
And then when you finally cool your head down and get him out of your mind for a minute,there he comes.
"I miss you" kinda messages. He starts to call.
Did he say "My baby".. ?So I am his... He is soooo.... Are we really....??
Your body starts to shake ,your heart beats faster.
You can't really think well.
Emotional roller-coaster indeed.
WOW!
Seems like he has finally realized how precious you are!
God has answered your prayers!
Oh mine,could it be that he actually cares..... ?
Or...DOES HE?
Let's be very honest with each other.
Emotions makes us vulnerable and quite irrational and that is why we often find impossible ways to justify unjustifiable and see what we crave to see. I talk from my experience and I am sure you can feel me.
What I have learnt over years is that human beings have terrible EGO issues.
We are moved by Ego.
Especially men.
If someone has taken you for granted ,best believe that made them feel in charge,like they have a control over you or "she ain't going no where" kinda attitude towards you.
What a food for Ego!
Just knowing that someone is one call away no matter how you treat them can make a person feel big and mighty. It is like a source that strengthens his self confidence and gives him a big head.
So it's pretty much like an attack on his Ego when you stop responding to him the way he is used to.
When he starts to text and call, it's probably because he has a terrible need to prove himself a point which is: "She ain't going no where" , "I am the shit" , "Not a chance"and "I still have powers over her".
It becomes a sort of a challenge for him.
And that is the real reason why he doesn't wanna let you go even thought he does't really intend to take you seriously.
As you can see,this is basically between him and himself and it has absolutely nothing to do with love,romance or what so ever.
I decided to share this post with you my darling simply because I wish someone told me this couple of years ago and I truly hope you understand situation you have found yourself in less confusing and I sincerely pray that you will find a strength to put yourself first,on top of this whole matter.
No one should ever be allowed to take your precious emotions and feelings for weakness.
Don't forget that you deserve way more the a "part time love affair".
There is no need to settle for "incomplete package" when you can have it all.
You are invited to share your experiences above,in comment section,it might change someone's life.
Love,
XX
God will bless you for this
ReplyDeleteAmen
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Deletewow jus wow
ReplyDeleteIt is as if you are talking to me directly . Thank u for sharing ,my eyes are open now
ReplyDeleteWisdom is your name Maam
ReplyDeletenice1
ReplyDeletehaaaaa sonia diz is exactly wat im going tru 4 past 7 months u ve described d whole scenario of mi life . heeeeeeeeeeeeey i just cnt get ova diz blog post. itz not easy sha bt u made it easier for me bcs u just said da bitta truth n thnk u 4 dat. u spoke sense to me bless u
ReplyDeleteHmmmm....i am confused, I don't know if this is actually my case. I'm in a long distance relationship,age gap is 8yrs. I went broad to study. However my bf wants to get married the truth be told am not really i want to be done with sch and set up my self before getting married. We have discuss this alot, I told him how much time i need and we should focus on loving each other,one minutes he understands the next he complains. He says he loves me, but he treat me like a priority sometimes then he goes mute. Whenever I complain he will apologise and say the fact am not ready get the best part of him. I don't know how long I will continue with this Any advice please and thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt i good that u are not desperate to get married like most of girls. Dont force it and dont lie to urself just bcs u might feel like u owe something to someone or like something is expected from u. Take ur time ,love frm Tanzania
Deletegood point Hildajack
DeleteI thank God because I never gave any of my some(who think they own you)ex's a second chance to tourment me emotionally.Immediately I received such messages as the ones pointed out in the blog that was the end-I blocked emails/numbers and if any of our mutual pals tried to get in touch with me I'd not pick up their calls.Such guys just want to misuse you because they have either seen a weakness in you/they know they gain from you financially e.t.c so they will start crawling bk to you with "love like apologetic"messages/calls to a point they may involve their/your circle of friends!If you honestly feel that you are in a rltnshp such as the one outlined in the blog and you have done your best to make things work to no avail:-It's hight time someone ended up in the reject list both calls/messages.Alternatively you can choose not to respond back/get a new line.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
I wish there were more ladies like u. unfortunately for most of us is very difficult to move on
Deletethis ur write up just gave me life ,take care n love from TZ!
ReplyDeleteVery nice write up,I am sure that thousands of girls would find this very useful
ReplyDeleteLUV DIS
ReplyDeleteMy current situation. Thank u so much for this Sonia! I feel ...delivered !
ReplyDeletethis ashawo just keep writing nonsense who wants to read dis ur blog who u help idiot u shod be shamed of your self go back where u came from
ReplyDeleteOde. I'm sure you're a guy and you're just pained that one of your padlock girlfriend is about to be delivered when she reads this. Go and get a job. Goat
Deleteu just kip lying to nigerians n they keep listening n following like stupid goats u came here to spoil our women wit ur prostitute mentality
ReplyDeletebad belle
DeleteWhy so bitter thou?
Deletegod will punish u n i will deal wit u
ReplyDeleteThis is called sickness and you need serious help. Sorry for you.
Deleteand u dare mention God's name.
DeleteAs in.. evil people everywhere
DeleteHow dare u get tha phuck outta here u miserable soul
DeleteThank you for sharing this dear. You help women all across the globe and I am so sure many are praying for your well being. Do not mind bitter sad fans,please. Take care
ReplyDeletethanks ma
ReplyDeleteNice Blog,girl
ReplyDeleteSomeone said "eye opener" and I must agree, love your writeups
ReplyDeleteSome ppl thoooooo no fucking chill at all!!!
ReplyDeleteReasons why I love myself so much that even if a man decide to give attitude I never notice it, why did that work for? Because when I get into any relationship i don't expect or imagine where is heading, I stay happy enjoy every moment of it. An most importantly I know my worth. So when the drama begins to happen I'm already out. Thanks bae @sonia you rock💋💋
ReplyDeleteThat is what I cal al clever lady! Tumbs up
DeleteWisdom yo!
DeleteWow...this is the exact post I needed. .im going through a tough time. .im in a confused state right now...this is hope...thanks so much Sonia...God bless you and keep up the good works...#respect..
ReplyDeleteSoso god bless u for this!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOUUUUUU BABE
ReplyDeleteUr great ..got a friend in this exact situation...after the guy treats her lik shit .... he would start begging upandan,, after she forgives,he does it again.....it hurts me so much because she was already be getting over him...gonna send her ur post...��������
ReplyDeleteYou ROCK! your purpose is mighty. Thank you empowering us and helping us grow! You will go far
ReplyDeleteOur african queen and a true leader keep doing a great job
ReplyDeleteLove this Sonia
ReplyDeleteSo true!
ReplyDeleteJust go through the posts yourselves. Although they'll be sharing just 400 naira worth of airtime just for your little articles or opinion. LADIES ONLY please. Married and unmarried. thanks the post link==
https://abujaladiesconnectblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/10/giveawaybuilding-friendship/
Thanks Sonia finally i can deal with this scum and his ego
ReplyDeleteWell I was in such a situation it was indeed very difficult to move on but when I did I realise that I worth more the truth is most lady are always scared of failure. I will never stop saying God bless u darling.
ReplyDeleteWell I was in such a situation it was indeed very difficult to move on but when I did I realise that I worth more the truth is most lady are always scared of failure. I will never stop saying God bless u darling.
ReplyDeleteI love this ��
ReplyDeleteThank u so much..u just spoke to my soul..bin going tru this for a while now..
ReplyDeleteThanks so much ma'm for clearing my head. I now understand better. Guess I can deal with this now. God bless u
ReplyDeleteI cried reading this write up,exactly my situation right now but you know what??ama move on now without looking back and never will I give his manipulative life a chance to talk to me again....thanks
ReplyDelete