Thursday, 12 January 2017

Bad Relationships: Why Love Makes Us Suffer

Who thinks that Love is meant to suffer people with nothing but a heartache and disappointments ?
Like,once you are in love,you completely stop being yourself ,you stop being in peace,you start getting so emotional,you overreact and take everything so personal and literally behave possessed,with no control over your own actions.
Do you  have a feeling that love makes us so weak and vulnerable? Like,all of the sudden someone else's actions and behavior affects you deeply to the point you start feeling like a puppet in someone else's hands?

Why is that some people enjoy being in love and it brings them peace and joy, while others have such a bad,exhausting experiences with relationships even with a good partners by their side ?

And why the same person can act totally different in a relationships with different people?

If I ask you : WHY do you seek LOVE for,what would you tell me?

  • Is it to find someone who will GIVE you Love?
  • Or to GIVE Love to someone?

Answer to this question as an answer to all your wanders.

When we enter relationship because we look for a particular emotions and experience to get in return our focus is on some expectations. Even with the most ideal partner in this world,you won't be able to enjoy moments and all the amazing things and features he/she has to offer because whatever you get mostly won't match the expectations you entered your relationship with.
Nothing will ever be good enough and there will always be a problem and reason for a complain.

The true essence of Love (which is peace,joy and fulfillment) can be experienced only when our motive for a romantic relationship is to give Love and everything that comes with it.

Life functions on a principle of a mirror: you can never get what you can't give and what you give you must get in return.
When our predominant idea of relationship is to receive Love from someone else,that means we think we don't have it in ourselves and we expect someone else to fill us up with it.

On the other hand,when when our motive to enter a relationship is to give love that means we KNOW that we already  have it within us. We don't have to seek for it out of our own being. We can't be desperate for something we already have. And that is why this kind of approach towards love and romance is a foundation we can use to build a healthy relationship that will not drain us and make us feel like we are going crazy but be the source of peace and inner growth instead.

After heartbreaks I often hear people say things like : "I gave him all ,see what I got in return" etc, but I really doubt they understand what Love truly is and what action of giving love is all about.

No,it is not about sleepless nights and emotional breakdowns you "suffered" because of him/her.That does not mean you gave love out.

You are ready to give Love once you can give acceptance,understanding,kindness,support,care ,encouragement and ability to appreciate the person you are with  for who he/she is withou being judgmental and not only to look for their flaws and what is not there (yet).

When you give love in a real meaning of that word you open a whole another dimension in your relationship that will,naturally,make both of you grow and prosper emotionally,spiritually and mentally  and that means you will effortlessly be able to get the best out of each other.

You can't pour from an empty cup my love.
The easiest way to get what we want is to BE THAT ,without any form of expectations and calculation.Just be it.Live it.
That is just a law of nature

People that have peace in their relationships know that language of Love  does not manifests in complains,nags,accusations,aggression and insults.
Language of Love is always kind,full of enthusiasm and magical,contagious energy,it's encouraging and vibrant.

Love,by nature, is giving and tends to focus on goodness and embraces it until it overshadow all the negativities and that is exactly what makes Love the only force on planet earth that can move the mountains and change the world.

Empty people look for who will give them love,fulfilled people look with who to share love with.
Makes a huge difference.
Think about it.


  1. Weldone mrs . I learn so much from u everyday.

  2. Wow. I love my bf so much but we are always fighting and I always feel like i don't get enough of love from him and i was always like oh its his fault so it made me feel helpless abt my situation. I became so moody recently. But after reading this its like i just started seeing things differently . U have changed my perspective and my point of u view and i feel emotionally refreshed after so long. Thank you Sonia. I am a big fan. U have a rare wisdom and a beautiful heart. God will keep blessing u for us

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  5. Sonnia. Madam... Ahem, I don't even know where to start. �� Over just a couple of minutes, reading your blog, you've changed me. In a good way ❤. I've always wondered why, what's the cause, and all that. Now I've realized where I was wrong. Thank you Ma. lol can't explain everything but: story short, your writing has changed me for the better. Thank you Ma. God bless you.

  6. Your wisdom is sezy

    1. you touch ppls lives,u give them hope...ur blessings are huge and yet to come sonia

  7. As always this article is on point. Nice on ma,am.
    What is Love

  8. Love u . My ideal perfect woman

  9. This is pure wisdom

  10. your article is so educative. but maam i have some problems in my relationship and i wish to chat with you personally ��