Monday, 2 January 2017

Is It /When Is It Ok To Cut Family Members Off?

In theory,blood family was suppose to be our biggest support system,a guaranteed source of joy,peace and happiness but in reality,we have to agree - is not always that way.
At times you might feel like they are just one heavy,massive load that keeps pulling you down with all doubts and all sorts of negativities that make it difficult for you to get where you want to be.

This family matter keeps many in a moral dilemma : should you keep them close by no matter what because they are "yours" or should you just create a distance and give yourself space?
I truly believe that we are product of voices we hear and that is why is extremely important for us to be surrounded with right kind of people that are on the same mission as we are.

People around us either add into our lives or take away from it.
And,that is my friends,the gospel truth.

We don't get to choose our family members.They are a gift from God to us.
But what to do when they seem to sabotage our vision and focus we need to fulfill our ambitions?

From my experience,I can tell you that most of the times it's not even about malice or an evil intention . But they can distract your focus by reflecting their own limitations,doubts,fears,points of view and disabilities on you.
Just because there is a blood connection between people that does not mean they were given same ways of thinking or abilities to understand the same life philosophy as you. 

I am a nature born leader. I am not passive,I am a go getter. And my ambitions are extremely high. So high that my family members though for so long  I was crazy,delusional,immature and not willing to take responsibilities and face my life the way they thought I should.

Everybody around me had "ordinary" life goals. I was always talking about something they thought wasn't rational enough. And there is a thing about me ,I don't ever say "I wish".But "I will". I will drive that car. I will live in that place.I  will make that money. I will have such man.
They were worried about me. They were thinking that real life will pass me by because I live in my dream world. Sonia and her fairytale.God help her.

They could never understood my vision because it was not ordinary and to the book,the way most of the people live or starve to live.
But between you and I ,it was a massive distraction. To accomplish something most of people don't believe is real,you need 100% of your focus directed to your vision. No 1% of doubt or fear is allowed. That is why I mentioned before how important is a role of people around you.
They used to upset me,get me angry and sad at times,but later on I realized that there was really no bad intention in it. At the end of the day they worry  because they care.
However,in order to go after my dream ,I left them behind at some point. I knew they would never take me seriously until they start seeing manifestation of my vision right in front of their eyes.

I like to call us stubborn visionaries "black sheep" kind of people,and I know some of you can identify as well :You grew up with people that somehow settled for ordinary,with ordinary worries and ordinary challenges and ordinary issues,with ordinary goals and life plans,but you want so much more. You are different. You don't want to live  just to pay your bills,work from 9 to 5 or go to vacation once a year. You just do not want.

Ordinary always tends to suffocate extraordinary .Ordinary never believes in extraordinary. 

Note this: they can't and they won't ever understand your vision unless you make it.
But, don't need to.
That is all it takes. Stay away from their "ordinary,reasonable" thinking. You must create your own world and cut everything else off,surround yourself with people who can simulate your vision and motivate and inspire you to go harder and make it become possible.

That doesn't mean you will stop loving your family or carrying about them.But you need to protect your focus. But you need to step out of the comfort zone they  try to impact on you.

Your "normal" and their "normal" does not need to match.

Because life is not what they say it is ,but what you make out of it.


  1. This makes a lot of sense but African tradition ehmm no gree n most of d tyms is family that stops your shine or they tend to influence you by force n make u live life they planned for u to hv. I love this ur blog .

  2. You didn't mention the way they always feel like they have right on whatever you make,always on your case asking for things,and once you do something for them they don't show no gratitude at all,they annoyingly act like you were obliged to give anyways. Kudos from London. Xx

    1. Exactly.. they act like it's your job to give them whatever they want...and no gratitude!!!

    2. Exactly.. they act like it's your job to give them whatever they want...and no gratitude!!!

  3. I am also a go getter, not a wishful thinker. If a family member doesn't believe in my dreams i just stop talking about them to such a person. That will be a waste of time and Go-getters don't waste time.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Awesome write up.
      Thanks a lot.
      Really inspiring.
      God bless greatly

  5. Tnx hon. Even our loved ones are not meant to understand our vision or our call. This blog rocks

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  7. I love this. This is me anyday anytime. I believe environment, certain people and thoughts have to be cut away if you must succeed. This is great, keep it up.
    My Sister is my best Friend

  8. This is lovely. I'm an advocate for doing what makes you happy the most and not care about what people think. Your happiness should always be paramount

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