Friday, 17 February 2017

How To Get And Keep A GOOD Man?

I literally receive tones of emails every single day from different women world wide asking me this very same question: "what was your strategy to get & keep a good man that treats you even better?".

So I decided to finally share some few little things I have picked up from my experience and my personal journey.

First of all,forget everyone who told you that you need to master a million and one psychological game & tactic (abi strategy) of seduction that we get to hear about in magazines,movies and novels.
Trust me it's not THAT stressful.

Secondly,you'll might think that you need to be "to the book" to get and keep a correct man by your side. That is why so many women all over the world would literally break their neck cleaning and cooking and acting holier than thou just to prove a guy how much of a good catch they are.
Do you want to know how you look like in that process?
It's like you wrote on your forehead "I am a wife material,PLEASE,I BEG YOU take me seriously,APPROVE MY WORTH PLEASE!".
I swear down.
But I would have to disappoint you : It's also not about forcefully ,desperately trying to fit in a definition of an "ideal woman" society constantly force on us. Desperate tries to appear "perfect" is not what will help you get appreciated,respected,loved,cherished as a woman and treated as a queen on a daily basis.

It might sound silly to you,but the best way to get yourself a good man that will,most importantly accept you and love you for who you are ,is to simply appear as raw,unpackaged YOU. True you. Imperfect you. 

The only way you will get to see which man is really worth of getting the best of you is the one who is willing to deal with the worst in you at the first place. Trust me there is no better or more valid way to "select" men  you come across and make the right choice later on. 
A man who would rather focus on your beauty,goodness,qualities then  your flaws is the man that will treat you good and appreciate you in every way.

The reason why we hold ourselves of being who we truly are in front of the person we want to impress is because we are afraid of  chasing that person away which automatically means we don't consider ourselves good or worthy enough. 
And men can sense it. Women too.
It smells of desperation,fear and self pity.
And trust me guys,there is no bigger turn off than that.

That way you will spend your life in misery and taken for granted by the person that should cherish you the most.But let's be real: Isn't it selfish to expect from other person to recognize your worth and value if you can't see it yourself?

The sexist,the most appealing and the most irresistible woman is not the one who is the most perfect (in any way). It is the one who has nothing to prove because she IS SURE of her worth,value and that is why she was not only able to make a peace with her past but able to embrace it as well knowing that she is not her mistakes and for that same reason she is not afraid of being misjudged or disliked,and that gives her freedom and power be real.

FORGET ALL THE SOCIAL AND TRADITIONAL NORMS AND STOP TRYING TO FIT IN.
Trust me,you don't want to be among those desperate women who are trapped in unhappy marriages every day trying to be something they are not so they can meet their partners ideals and expectations they decided to start with to get "verified"at the first place. (I know you see such cases everywhere you go.) 

The bottomline is : if you want to have a UNION BASED ON LOVE (not interest or any other benefit) you need to understand that Love must be effortless and smooth,and definitely   SHAMELESS and FREE! If you must force it on someone by hiding things about your character,habits or past,then it's not for you! 
Stop trying so hard to appear as a Saint to impress a common sinner.


You are amazing enough to be loved for who you are and if someone is not capable of doing such,then the person is simply not meant for you.







33 comments:

  1. wow str8 to the target

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  2. We have right to change and to grow and yes we are not our mistakes! Ladies u should stop trying to form a mother Theressa bcs wou will still get mistreated . just be you.nice 1

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  3. you are way too real. love u

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  4. Hmm Sonia,..No wander my kenyan friends went crayy cray about ur blog. We dont do our office work the way we suppose to because we are busy going thru ur posts. Bless u ,I am sure this article will help ladies all over africa to work on loving themselves before they break their neck to prove their love to a guy. Thanks Mrs

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    Replies
    1. Face ur work idiot u r busy reading dis rubbish mchwww

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  5. Very useful write up. Ladies take a note

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  6. I am sick and tired of the way women allow men to treat them especially in Nigeria. My mom was all that,loyal,hard working,good housewife,always indoors,cooking,cleaning until she faints, ,very shy and reserved and all my dad did was doing was taking her for granted. She alway put herself last and trust me she was not happy but she kept quiet because she thinks that is the way it was suppose to be because she is a "good woman and wife". bullshit. That is why i fell in love with you when you wrote " before we teach our daughters how to make a good housewives we should teach them how to love themselves". You give me hope. Have a beautiful day ma'am.

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    Replies
    1. Go and follow ur mama advice idiot wen ik get tired of dis ho n replace her for a decent african girl dat doesn't expose her body on social media u wont b here supporting nonsense

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  7. real deal . I am a big fan of ur work.keep it up

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  8. God will bless and keep u for us.

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  9. You empower women dear. You are a true Queen for being this honest,intelligent and wise. Pure heart.

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  10. So u r saying that prostitute like u shud stay a prostitute n b proud of dat someone will marry her anyways ryt? idiot god will punish u for teaching our women wrong

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    Replies
    1. You are a jobless fool

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    2. Why carry your depressed self on someone's page if you are dissatisfied with it then its ur problem instead of burning the little data you have left.my dear deal with your headache.

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    3. Anon 5:29 If a prostitute like Sonia can cage fine bobo like Iyke Ogbonna...Nwa, you better start listening to her and learn a few tricks so you can catch a husband for yourself. Then maybe you will stop being so bitter.

      Return to LInda Ikeji's Blog, you have no place here IJN. Amusu

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  11. I will never understand people that come here to comment rubbish hidding from fake/anonymous profiles. What about your life mr/ms?

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  12. Love ur blog! :-)

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  13. After going through your blog my perception totally changed. Keep it up

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  14. Beautiful mind ,beautiful soul,beautiful woman!

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  15. I have just one question though....
    Can you love someone so much yet not want to be in a relationship with them probably because of your past experiences... Maybe you just wanna give yourself a break. Can you love someone so much yet not want to be in a relationship with them?

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    1. This is very interesting question and thanks for participating. I had even asked my husband for his opinion as a man,and we both agreed that once you really truly love someone and you want to ne with the person even the worst circumstances would stop you. It would make you ready no matter how un-ready you were. Everything else is an excuse you use when you don't feel like committing but yet you don't want to loose the benefits completely. Bless you

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    2. Would not stop you *(point of correction)

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    3. I agree wiv mrs Ogbonna

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    4. Excuses up n down

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  16. Wowwww babe, this is highly profound. You must love yourself first, be comfortable in who you are, be real are things I learnt. Thank you for sharing. God bless you. This article will liberate alot of desperate ladies out there.
    www.memoirsofagreatlady.com

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  17. Dear Sonia, I have tried so hard to look for my ideal man but he's no where to be found. Please what could be the problem? The guys I meet on a daily basis are not the kinda guys I like. How I can I attract my ideal man?

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  18. Replies
    1. This may not sound fair, because it’s not

      But did you know that you can be a guy’s dream girl...

      I mean, you can literally check off every box on his “perfect woman” list...

      But if you mess up this one thing, he’ll drop you the second another option comes along?

      My friend James Bauer discovered this missing “secret ingredient” all men are constantly searching for in a woman.

      And most women have no clue it exists because guys aren’t even aware of it.

      We just KNOW when it’s missing.

      ===> The “Secret Ingredient” to obsessive love <=====

      The really cool thing is, when you know how to give a man this “secret ingredient”...

      It will send a shockwave of desire for you straight to his brain and he will HAVE to have you.

      In fact, when you do this... watch his face light up, almost as if he’s just been zapped.

      It’s that moment when he says to himself “Where have you BEEN all my life?”

      Every woman should know this. Check it out here:

      ====> Why men leave “perfect” women... <=====

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