How many of us are battling with this horrible feeling every day? Jealousy is a thief. It steals happiness and joy away from our relationships. It spreads very fast,like an infection, and step by steap you see it in your everydays activities,every day and every moment you spend with your partner. It doesn't let you enjoy the moments. It takes over you in a second and you are there feeling so helpless while turning into a person that has nothing to do with "normal" you.
Well,I think there is a tiny seed of jealousy in all of us,that's just a part of our imperfecti humans nature,but that can't be an excuse to let it take over you and your life.
It's a very common,deep and complex issue in a relationships,and if you can relate,this article I found is just for you.
Let's start from the beginning. What is jealousy exactly and where it comes from?
Jealousy is a killer. Relationships end because of jealous conflicts and people kill other people because they are jealous.
Imagine this. You are at a party and someone is friendly and you smile. Your partner thinks that you are betraying her. Or your partner tells you a funny story about a former lover and you feel threatened. You feel the anger and anxiety the rising inside you and you don’t know what to do.
Susan could identify with this. She would glare at her partner, trying to send him a “message” that she was really annoyed and hurt. She hoped he would get the message. At times she would withdraw into pouting, hoping to punish him for showing an interest in someone else. But it didn’t work. He just felt confused.
At other times Susan would ask him if she still found her attractive. Was he getting bored with her? Was she his type? At first, he would reassure her, but then---with repeated demands for her for more reassurance---he began to wonder why she felt so insecure. Maybe she wasn’t the right one for him.
And when things got more difficult for Susan, she would yell at him, “Why don’t you go home with her? It’s obvious you want to!”
These kinds of jealous conflicts can end a relationship.
Jealously is not proof of love. That's such a myth.
JEALOUSY IS ANGERY AGITATED WORRY.
When we are jealous we worry that our partner might find someone else more appealing and we fear that he or she will reject us. Since we feel threatened that our partner might find someone more attractive, we may activate jealousy as a way to cope with this threat. We may believe that our jealousy may keep us from being surprised, help us defend our rights, and force our partner to give up interests elsewhere.
Similar to worry, jealousy may be a “strategy” that we use so that we can figure out what is going wrong or learn what our partner “really feels”. We may also think that our jealousy can motivate us to give up on the relationship—so that we don’t get hurt any more. If you are feeling jealous, it’s important to ask yourself what you hope to gain by your jealousy. We view jealousy as a coping strategy.
Similar to other forms of worry, jealousy leads us to focus only on the negative. We interpret our partner’s behavior as reflecting a loss of interest in us or a growing interest in someone else: “He finds her attractive” or “He is yawning because I am boring”. Like other forms of worry, jealousy leads us to take things personally and to mind-read negative emotions in other people: “She’s getting dressed up to attract other guys”.
Sounds familiar fam?
What's the next step?
How to get rid of jealousy and set yourself free?
Coming up next,