Monday, 4 January 2016

BabyMamaDrama - Your Child Is Not A Weapon Of Revenge/Punishment !

If you know me,you would know that I always encourage "women power". I love my fellow sisters,and I always try to bring respect and admiration and put jealousy and hate aside in relationships between ladies. We are all different yet all the same,no matter the color of our skin,religion or part of the world we are coming from,there are things we all ,as females,must go through which means that nobody can understand a woman better than another woman,and that understanding should be used to help us build each other and teach us how to love harder.
However,there is something that,despite all my love for womanhood,really bothers me and I would love to share my thoughts about it with you.

As a mother,woman got a dominant role in child's life. Nobody and nothing can beat the fact that mother is the most important person in baby's life and a healthy presence of a mom is a must for correct emotional development of a kid.

We do go through a lot and we do sacrifice so much for sake of bringing a child into this world and raising him later on,and only a woman that been through it can totally understand a sacrifice female must make and pain she must go through when she decides on motherhood.

That's all clear. Us ,women,we are soldiers.

But nothing gives a woman right to deprive a man from being a father to his child just because he is not interested in having an emotional relationship with her or because of her failed expectations when it comes to their relationship.

What pains me is that I knew few very good men I deeply love and respect who are truly suffering because they are prohibited from having a normal relationship with their children just because their moms are really bitter with the fact they didn't get to have a man they wanted in the father of their child.

So in that name ,they are creating a million and one situation to cause drama and represent a man in a bad light  (as worst as possible-yes that's what we call "babymama drama"),always looking for excuses to talk bad about father in front of a child,family or friends,without daring to think of how toxic that is for a mental and emotional development of their own kid who needs a normal,healthy,loving and peaceful relationship with both parents to grow into an emotionally stabile adult.

Another issue Is,it's very easy and simple to make a man seem like a "bad" or irresponsible guy even when he is really willing to be there for his kid.

It's happening for a while to some people I really care about and it got me thinking- how is that right?

Since women are always lightly and easily victimized and men are very fast categorized as "bad","irresponsible"(on a behalf of few known bad ones),it makes it so easy for others to jump into conclusions and point fingers at men while shaking their heads and calling them names.

I know guys that been emotionally blackmailed,suffered and exploded in different ways just because one woman like that has a dominant role in a life of a kid they love so much and she is so taking advantage of her "position".I know men that women tried to control,stress and manipulate in so many different ways just because they knew they would go hard for their children and still,after all, get to hear "he's lame,he ain't shit,he doesn't even take care of his child" every single time something is not how going according their taste.

I think it's quite a big deal. And the major victims are always kids that end up going through a terrible emotional roller coaster from feeling abounded to feelings of anger and hate,confusion,self esteem and emotional issues later on in life just because some woman decided to stick to the story she composed that will give her an excuse for punishing one man like that for not choosing to love her in a way she planned for herself.

Every normal man should take a responsibility over his child ,yes. But  every normal woman should let him ,no matter the nature of the relationship between two of them (if he and his behavior is not dangerous or aggressive towards a child ,of course)

Stop being selfish. Child is not a weapon for manipulation or revenge . Child is not a tool you to use to tie a man down or punish him if he refuses to stay.

Let your child be a priority. We know that we(women) are not victims all the time even though we like to hide under that category quite often.

We are Queens.  A lionesses.

We are better than that.


  1. Sonia, my case is very different. My baby's dad doesn't even care about his son just because his parents said they can't take care of a child they don't see. So he abandoned his son too. What do u fink I should do?

    1. That's different case yea. We can't make people act particular way. We have no power over the actions they take and decisions they make. But you are a master of your own life,best believe that everything that you are going through will turn into your favor -sooner or later. Even in during tough times,you can never ever go wrong with positive attitude. Hate,anger and regrets won't bring you no where. Talk kind words,act kindly,and you will attract the same what you give out. you are blessed indeed. Things are only getting better,you will see.

    2. Let's be realistic here... put ur self in the guyz shoes... will u take care of a child u don't see ???? Am very sure u deprive ur son from mingling with his father's people or from the father and u expect him 2 take care of him. It's not done anywhere madam.