How to "make" Life give you more - "Principle Of Echo" by Sonia Ogbonna

Yesterday I finally got to learn my lesson. FINALLY!
Hard way thou.
Yesterday, after a serious emotional breakdown  something finally "clicked" in my head - there is reality NOBODY to blame. 
I FINALLY made peace with the fact that whatever I'm going through, whatever I get is nothing more, nothing less  then what I  give out.

Whenever we feel bad about ourselves, our lives, what do we naturally do?  We are so quick to look for who to blame for our condition. 

Who is responsible?
Who "took you for granted"?
Who made your heart bleed?
Who disappointed you?
Who let you down?  
Who is guilty?

The gospel truth is- everything starts and ends in us.  All our problems and all the solutions.
What you really look for is on who to reflect that inner mess and battles you have been fighting deep inside you and set yourself free of responsibly over your own life.

So don't get mad at me when I tell you - whatever you get from life, fate, destiny, people around you is reality nothing less they get from you.

Most of the times, we actually don't see ourselves.

We are so scared of giving too much or  being too good or too kind or too generous  out of fear that we might end up being used, our efforts not being appreciated enough or  taken for granted that most of the times we don't give out what we should to get life respinding us and giving us things we crave.

Instead we complain to life, nag to God, to our friends, families, husbands and wives and moan to entire world on how unfortunate we are.

And yet, we don't see it that way.
Instead we decide that entire world owe us and that we are victims,  that we "always give so much and always get so little because life is unfair, we are unfortunate  and love is pain".

See, I got to understand that entire life functions on a principal of feedback. Life as an echo, speak kindly to it. And it will RESPOND you in a same way.

So don't be afraid to love much. Start with yourself then spread that beautiful, powerful love to everything and everyone  around you.
Don't be stingy or afraid while giving out your kindness and generosity. 

But note: giving is absolutely pointless if it doesn't bring you joy in return. Key is -it must make you feel good.  Giving must make you happy.

How? 
Give without expectation of getting anything in return, but for a beauty of spreading something that will make people around you happier.

Now that what we actually call act of love. Anything else is calculation of interest or benefit (and we have courage to claim it  LOVE, smh). 

Open your heart to love, positivity and generosity, speak kindly to yourself and the world around you and watch your life transforming into heaven of peace, abaundance, joy and miracles. 

When everything feels like going wrong....

.... You get up and thank God. Trust me it's a blessing.

How come?

The most challenging paths always hide UNUSUAL switch! The redirection of your life story that you been waiting on ..

A doors to extraordinary blessings are about to open  for you and you are almost there,trust me,I'm talking from my own personal experience.

Don't give up,you almost there.

Again,smile ,you can feel relived.


Your fortune can't miss you and you are not forsaken.

Let your expectations match your bright future.
Because being excited about something good coming your way means YOU SETTLED for it.

Rejoice. Dance. Celebrate.
You win. You conquer. You always get what you want.

Much love

Freedom: emotional, spiritual, physical and sexual

Life of an adult seems like a small room in prison without doors or windows at times.
Million and one social norm, unwritten rules you have to obey  without even having courage to question them and ask :"what is the purpose of it?".  We just  obey because we are taught we should.

I often do  feel caged and that is for sure a reason behind 95% of anxiety attacks I ever struggled with.

Every time I feel I'm limited in expressing myself emotionally, spiritually or even sexually I feel so frustrated.  And I'm not a conformist.  I find it very difficult to settle.  I want it my way or else the feeling of something missing is going to hunt me quite badly and I can't really deal with it.

Well, that's just me being a human being in it's own, raw from of an egocentric creature and my wild, stubborn nature makes it even worse.

But since I am married to someone I do love,  I had to learn to suffocate egocentric nature in md and deeply consider the shape of shoes my partner is wearing-his own emotions, needs, dreams, pains  and understand them and adopt as my own so we can function in Union we created.

So sometimes I wander where is the boundary between settling for  compromises (which is absolutely needed, necessary and mutual ) and building a distance from your own self and  a  stranger to your own nature and being? 

But I still believe, from the bottom of my heart, that the absolute purpose and ultimate goal of us existing in this world is to find freedom and set ourselves free.

To look for freedom we must have courage.  We have to be super brave. To forget that we will be judged or criticized.  We have to forget fear of others having negative opinion about us and focus on our unique nature that will clearly and loudly direct you towards your own purpose that you were created for. 

We are all different and whatever excites you, keeps you passionate and happy , other's don't really need to understand or approve (as long as you dont harm nobody).

I moved from a very liberal society to more conservative one and it really affected me because I wasn't just free to be me since  I though I would be judged.  But thats unhealthy way to live life.It made me sick.  Literally.

You have to discover yourself before you try discover the world around you.  What excites you?  What makes you feel like you?  What is taking your breath away? What is making you feel good in your skin?  What is making you feel powerful?  What brings the passion out of you?

You have to feel free to express your heart and to let others know how to touch us : emotionally, spiritually and yes, physically. To be treated the way you wish to be treated.  To be respected the way you wish to be respected.  To be kissed and wanted just how you dreamed of.

Be free to love others in a way that describes you the best!  Feel free to move, go forward, be free to live, don't just be alive! 

Nothing to be ashamed of.  It's your nature and you have to set it free, sooner or later-because our true nature is like a wild horse- it can't be tamed for too long!

You are a whole dimension by itself!

Much love

Your Partner, You & Money Matter "If You Love Me You Would Spend On Me" Issue

I've noticed that money matter is a problem in many relationships nowadays.
We all have our expectations when it comes to the way man suppose to take care of his lady. 
What is the behavior that you would consider right in this case? 

Or does the fact that he is ready to spend on you means he truly loves and cares about you? 

Well, I don't think that money alone means that someone would die for you.
For example : for some men money is the only source of self confidence and they feel like they can't show you in any other way that they are worth your time-which  is perfect if you are looking for mugu aka sugar daddy, but not really if you want a partner to build a life with through thick and thin.

Some men use money to make you depend on them so they can control you-again out of lack of self confidence.  But we would all agree - that doesn't have much to do with love and care for sure.

Generally, I never ever liked stingy people, not only talking of men. That is one of the most irritating features I could possibly find in a human being.  But yet is man really in obligation to spend money (he doesn't even have) to prove his intentions to you? 

I was always careless with money (my mom would say lavish lol) and never had pain in my heart by generously  spending it around and my husdband is pretty much the same,but when him and I got together, my ways and habits changed.  Spontaneously, not by force. 

More he would insist to spend on me, more I was turning into one stingy madam (lol).

I guess that is what true love and a pinch of maturity does to people.  I become more organized and economical and I always get angry when he starts uncontrollably buying things even though it would all be for me or our son. 

So, at the end of the day, I got to the conclusion that if man truly loves you he would definitely make you his priority in every possible way:  he would want to spend his last dime to make sure you are good or that you don't lack anything...

.... But if you truly love him, you would never let that happen!

"I WIN BECAUSE I DON'T COMPETE"

What was stopping me from starting my own business back in the days was the fact that I was so focused and ANXIOUS about others doing well in the same kind of entrepreneurship I wanted to see myself in. I didn't know their journey,I didn't know how long it took them to shine,I just felt like them being good is taking away from my own.

That's how I would loose my confidence and just give up before even starting.

 Jealousy and envy are devils that do lay in all of us. We are all imperfect humans but it's on you to understand that will serve you and what would destroy you.

 My life absolutely changed when it finally gotten to my head that there is ABUNDANCE of everything good in this world and that there is really space for everyone to shine really bright. I do not compete.

Instead envy and anxiety,I chose to admire and get excited for others that are doing well. I chose to learn from them. I chose to get inspired and motivated. And I focused on myself and my very own journey with understanding that there is ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE. And that,my dear friends, is a recipe and MAGNET for miracles and blessings.

My life was never the same.👑✨

Anxiety,Depression,Frustration Vs Sings That Something Big Is About To Happen

People will never tell you  that the most normal and natural life changes and circles we go through as human beings are potential sources of emotional breakdowns,confusin,frustration ,anxiety or even depression.

That could be a reason why you are lonely and ashamed of whatever you feel in your heart when some big life changes kicks in. Ironically,we are talking about positive life changes and things that people generally consider as a reasons to rejoice or celebrate,be happy or grateful about - they can also trig particular confusions and emotions that might find you unprepared.

But common Sonia, who doesn't look forward to things like graduation,new job,marriage,parenthood?

We are taught that these are the most beautiful moments in every person's life. Something we all pray for. And that's absolutely true.

But nobody will talk about pressure that every NEW STAGE of life brings.

You see,you can tell me you are ready for marriage,for kids,for new sorts of responsibility but I want to ask you : HOW?

How can we be absolutely prepared for something we never experienced before?
Let's just say : I didn't know how parenthood is like. I could only assume.  I might did a long,deep research on that matter,I grew up watching my family members becoming parents,I even had little kids in my house all my life. Do I know a lot about it? Possible. Was it enough? At all.

It's the same with every other ,new level of our lives  we pass to - just like levels in a video games: you don't know which challenges will find us in every new one we move to. Getting independent and moving out of your parents house,choosing a spouse and getting married,starting a family on your own.. Etc.
You feel lost and you don't know how to pull yourself together?  I am here to tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of. That anxiety,frustration that is choking you strongly at times... I've been there. That terrible feeling of you being all alone in your emptiness,misunderstanding and pain - happened before to me and many more people.

Your family and friends think you are ungrateful,sad for no reason,( dramatic )and they just don't get you. And day by day you more and more believe  that something is wrong with you yet you feel paralyzed and helpless to save yourself out of that mess that grows in your head. (Is it juju?voodoo? Black magic?). Lol

But my darling,it's all good. You are not going crazy ,nobody bewitched you and I can tell you for sure - you will be fine.

From my experience,I can tell you- it's a sign that something amazing is about to happen. That's why we get tempted to fall. But we won't.

Don't fight it-you will increase it. It's like adding oil on fire. Love. Just love. Accept that you are passing through a faze. It's part of growing. Part of building a better you. In each and every experience lays wisdom. You are earning your own right now.

Smile and Love. Talk love,talk with love,love yourself and love will take over. And Love is our absolute purpose.
Practice self control over your mind. Direct it . Conqur it. Tame it.  It's under your power and comand.

You will pass through it. Breakthrough. And you will know that it didn't kill you-it only helped build you!

Much Love
Share it with whoever needs to read it :)
Let's be there for each other!

Truly yours,
You Sonia