How Happiness,Joy And Love Vanish From Relationships With Time And Turn Partners Into Strangers?Read This Amazing Touching Story

How people spend days,months and years of their life being unhappy,desperately searching for something that's just in front of them just because they lack wisdom to recognize it. Sad.

The story I came across really touched me in a way. It taught me so much. I just had to share it with you guys..

"I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her.

I did want to be with this one. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual. She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and short-circuit my brain with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms was my happy place. I loved her wildly.

Unfortunately, as happens with many young couples, our ignorance of how to do love well quickly created stressful challenges in our relationship. Before long, once my early morning blissful reverie gave way to the strained, immature ways of our everyday life together, I would often wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.

As the months passed and that thought reverberated more and more through my head, I chose her less and less. Every day, for five years, I chose her a little less.

I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.

Choosing her would have meant focusing every day on the gifts she was bringing into my life that I could be grateful for: her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship, and so … much … more.

Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace – or even see – what was so wildly wonderful about her.

I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me. The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behavior. Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less.

Thus did our nasty death spiral play itself out over five years.

She fought hard to make me choose her. That’s a fool’s task. You can’t make someone choose you, even when they might love you.

To be fair, she didn’t fully choose me, either. The rage-fueled invective she often hurled at me was evidence enough of that.

I realize now, however, that she was often angry because she didn’t feel safe with me. She felt me not choosing her every day, in my words and my actions, and she was afraid I would abandon her.

Actually, I did abandon her.

By not fully choosing her every day for five years, by focusing on what bothered me rather than what I adored about her, I deserted her.

Like a precious fragrant flower I brought proudly into my home but then failed to water, I left her alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat of our intimate relationship.

I’ll never not choose another woman I love again. 

It’s torture for everyone.

If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question:

“Why am I choosing my partner today?”

If you can’t find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one. It could be as simple as noticing that in your deepest heart’s truth, “I just do.” 

If you can’t find it today, ask yourself again tomorrow. We all have disconnected days.

But if too many days go by and you just can’t connect with why you’re choosing your partner, and your relationship is rife with stress, let them go. Create the opening for another human being to show up and see them with fresh eyes and a yearning heart that will enthusiastically choose them every day.

Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen. Every day.

You do, too."

If You Feel Pressured To Change The Way You Look Like For The Sake Of Keeping Your man,Then Better Look For Another One

To take care of yourself is definitely a good thing. There is nothing superficial about wanting to look the best you can. But the reason why you should work on yourself must be to make a person you see in the mirror feel good! 

You won't believe how many ladies are under so much pressure (especially after they give birth) to instantly change their bodies/slim down or get particular shape not cuz of themselves but out of fear that their man will lose interest in them and start cheating.

Well,if the way you look makes you feel depressed because you don't think your man finds you appealing no more,than you should look for another man. 

The truth is,your partner should encourage you and motivate you to be the best you can be (in every single way) and get you on the right track with his love and support,not with a fear of you getting replaced/cheated on. 

Love and physical attraction that comes out of love must have a way deeper foundation and base. On the other hand,something is wrong somewhere in your world if the love you have for someone else makes you do things that love you have for yourself can't. 

Root of your problem is not 10kg you are trying to loose.

If man doesn't make you feel good,if he doesn't support you or make you feel happy(no matter situation!) ,if your pregnancy will make you less attractive to him and "force" him to cheat,than even the most perfect body won't solve an issue.

Because that man is not your man.

You will have to learn how to work on yourself for the sake of yourself. To invest in building self love and to discover and understand what defines your worth as a woman and a human being. Once you fall in deep love with yourself you will understand how much your addition can be into a man's life and that there is no reason to be afraid of being replaced by anyone in any way.

Even with some extra pounds.

The way you see and appreciate yourself is exactly the same way others will see and appreciate you as well.

The Killer Of Progress : Learn How To Avoid Unhealthy Comparison/ What is Healthy Comparison About?

What is the point of all my previous posts and tips?

 No ,it's not about creating one sick,so called "beauty standard" in general. It's not about embracing this kind of shape that kind of a physical look. It's me trying to share some experiences of mine that really helped me feel better in my skin. Things and efforts you will put that will help you fall in love with yourself,discover your physical and spiritual strengths you might forgot you had.  Because we are,as human  beings,born to deal with a million and one insecurity. Self confidence is not something you just wake up to. You build it. In so many different ways (spiritually,mentally,physically) you develop self love and it's every day's work. A self investment.

I want you to treat yourself good and do you good . Yes,you are that important.

But what is ,very often,messing our hard work up? 

Comparison. 

The unhealthy comparison (there is a healthy one as well):

So UNHEALTHY COMPARISON is very common syndrome these days. You tend to do things so you can compare yourself to someone else. Where? Real life? Even worse! Social media! Instagram! Huh. Than next thing you know,you look yourself in the mirror and all your efforts and hard work all of the sudden start looking so...invisible? Non existent? The way you work towards crushing your self confidence,you don't even know do you?

The truth is,you don't know where some people started from. Maybe they been working out for past 10 years. Or some of them went for a surgery (this fat transfer so popular these days). Or some people are simply different. Our bodies are different. So it's not about you trying to look like somebody else.

Others can motivate you,it's amazing to be able to admire ,but the key is,you major goal and focus should be to become the best possible version of your unique,beautiful self. That's it.

HEALTHY COMPARISON is exactly about that. It will help you understand your own personal progress and growth. Your personal change. How your body changed from last month. Last year. How it will look next year by this time. Yum!

This kind of comparison will help you build your self confidence and self love. Self respect also. Because when you look back at where you started from you will see effort. A dedication. A power of your good will. 

And you will be so damn proud.

Hot,Sexy and Pregnant-You Build Your Postpartum Body During 9 Months,Not Only After Giving Birth

 For a very long time I was totally convinced that pregnancy must ruin woman's body for good. In fact,I was thinking that's just a price we have to pay for sake of becoming mothers. 

I was terrified. Just an idea that my physics ,my body was never going to be the same had such a strong impact on me. 

For years. 

But than it happened. 

After finding I was pregnant I felt  so confused. One side of me was happy. Very happy.

But on the other hand,I was crying for one whole week. What?! Pregnant?? Omg my life was never going to be the same!! I will never look hot again!(don't act like it's not a big deal!).

Was staring at the mirror asking myself how long it will take until my body starts changing for good. With no turning back .On the other side,my husband was very happy,was trying to console and calm me down "we are blessed,we are this we are that" and I just couldn't stand him at these moments. Lol. Say what? "Is it your body that will change? Is there anything about your life that is going to change?" I asked him . He smiled saying "We are pregnant now,will share it 50/50" Lol. Ok ,He made me smile.At least he tried :)

I knew it was the time to pull myself together.

I was like... You know what? All this scary things  about the pregnancy .....hmmm...It doesn't really need to be like that! Not necessarily!! 

That moment I made a deal with myself. With all the confidence and faith in this world, I promised myself that after I give birth,not just that I will look the same,but better than ever. Not for anybody else,but for me!

I decided that,as a woman,I can be anything I want. I can look the best I can and still give all the love and care to my family,especially my child. One thing doesn't exclude other! For the first time I stopped feeling helpless and scared. In fact this new chapter of my life started feeling so challenging . And guess what?

My stubborn self liked it!

At the end of my journey,I gained only 9kg in total and gave birth to 4,3kg babyboy! 

There are some few myths about pregnancy that I want to break ,here and now. Just for the sake of encourage you and to help you understand that you are the boss babygirl!

The truth is,there are some factors we can't really control (genetics for example,and yes those evil,sneaky hormones ),but there are so many things we do/not do using pregnancy as an excuse! You knowww I'm saying the truth!

1) Pregnancy Cravings 

To be honest with you,I love to eat all my life and I faced serious cravings for all sorts of food ,well,since I was born I think. 

I was always ready to go to the other side of the city to look for food I feel like eating. I didn't need to be pregnant for that.Do you get me?

So after everything,I got to understand that,there are only few things that makes a huge difference when it comes to pregnancy:

- this is very psychological. When we add  "pregnancy" before "cravings",we also add another level of seriousness to it. Now its a "big deal". Wow . Magical ,uncontrollable force called Pregnancy Cravings. Something totally above our powers. 

Really? Common! Nonsense. 

The only difference is ,now,that you are pregnant,you will have an absolute right to demand and people around you an absolute obligation to obey you. So hot wings at 2am is something you won't normally go for,even though you feel like eating them so badly,but since these are not just ordinary cravings (you are pregnant,remember!) you could actually just request for them and in no time it will be brought to you (who can say no to a pregnant woman?)

Congratulations! Now you have what? An excuse!

The truth is: 

- you don't start building your postpartum body after pregnancy:you do it for all 9 months as you are pregnant! Yes,there is a human being inside your womb,but you still need some discipline. Your life is not going to finish after you give birth! You can't just eat anyhow anytime cuz you are pregnant. First and foremost it's about health!

-so,forget that "I have to eat for two" middle century myth. That's absolute nonsense. It's not about quantity,it's about the quality of food! Anything you bring inside of your body must be nutritious and healthy. I didn't change my eating habits (read in my previous post about it) I just made sure I eat some extra fruits and veggies. Vitamins baby! You need to be super strong and healthy. You need energy. If you eat a lot and you eat rubbish,than you didn't do favor to your baby. Nether to yourself.

- it's not a baby that is going to make you fat. It's damn food. Pregnant or not! If you eat wrongly,if you eat only once a day,if you eat in the night,if you eat only junk food,if you are not physically active-you MUST gain weight. It's just logical. So don't worry,you have absolute control over your body. Still.

- you need to stay physically active (if you are not having a risky pregnancy of course)! I know you feel tired,heavy and your legs and back hurts,but trust me when I tell you-little bit of movement will only make you feel better and help you get some better sleep! I used to have 20-30 minutes walk everyday until I gave birth,and sometimes I would feel so lazy,but I never regretted forcing myself to get out of the house! I swear. It's really meditational. Fresh air does magic. Baby needs it also. Besides,it will make your labor wayyyy easier: all this pushing mann,you need to stay in good physical form! 

- if you eat right and keep yourself active and you are still gaining weight "from no where ",don't worry,it's not fat it's probably just water. It will go out week or two after you give birth. It will just vanish,melt. 

- as for stretch marks,I used one local lotion since the beginning of my pregnancy journey,and good thing is I didn't get none. I will try my best to bring the lotion to Nigeria and introduce my fellow Nigerian ladies to it.

But even if you get stretch marks,it's not the end of the world. You still too hot!

-and the most important thing:your state of mind. Positive thoughts will make you glow. Happy girls are the finest girls-pregnant or not. Don't forget that you attract things with your thoughts,emotions and words that are coming out of your mouth. So think happy thoughts,stay grateful,replace fear with faith and get ready to welcome only good things. Manage your expectations! Why? Only good things can happen to you. You always get the best of everything! 

Because you simply are blessed like that!

7 Secrets Of Mine That Will Help You Get The Best Of Your Body & Lifestyle

So we agreed that diets are useless and effect is temporary. We agreed that we need a permanent solution. Here you go- 7 steps that will help you create a lifestyle that will change your life and body for good: 

1) Water ,water and a lot of water!

I think y'all are so tired of me right now (don't block me please)Lol. I been bragging how important water is for so long and I must do it again ( I can't promise you that this is the last time thou) :D

Personally,I drink 3-5 liters of water every single day.

A lot of people find really hard to drink plenty water (I was one of them back in the days),but our bodies are very adaptable. You get yourself used to certain things until you create a habit.  

Little trick that helped me get enough of water in my system: I made sure I have my 0,75l bottle everywhere I go. If the bottle is next to you,if your eyes can see it,you will drink way more then if u choose to drink from the glass. Most of the time I find myself grabbing bottle unconsciously just because it's there. I swear. And good thing about drinking from the bottle -at the end of the day you know how much water you drank -just do simple math! 

That's how I started,now I constantly feel like I need more water and it's a real pleasure drinking it. I swear down. To the point if I don't see my bottle next to me I start feeling anxious lol 

So why do I insist on water so much?

A) It's a major way to detox your body. It will literally flush out your entire system-"washing on inside " - it very important for health (especially for your kidneys and liver) than beauty of course- for flawless skin your body must be well hydrated.

B) Water speeds up your metabolism! Start a day with a big glass of warm water. You can add lemon as well,than continue drinking as much water as you can during the day-it's an "on" bottom for your metabolism. 

C) It actually kills the thirst - unlike all this cool drinks,sodas and "fruit" juices you are buying (I know so many people that totally replaced water for cool drinks without even being aware of how bad that is ),a common,simple water doesn't contain sugar or additives at all . I started seeing so much progress after I cut out sodas and all kind of juices and replaced them all with water. These are just unnecessary calories. If you want a fruit juice-squeeze one yourself and don't add no sugar at all. Green tea is also an amazing solution (sugar free of course). The rest is R-U-B-I-S-H. Good for nothing.

D) Water breaks down that ugly fat under your skin better known as notorious cellulite. I used to have it under my butt and thighs (plenty) , you should see me now ;) 

E) If you drink as much of water as I advice you to- your stomach will never be completely empty. The truth is,so many times when we feel hungry,we are actually "half" thirsty. So if you are already constantly filling your stomach with liters of water,you won't  have these terrible hunger attacks that makes you blackout and eat anything that comes under your hand. Secondly,you wont be capable of eating big portions of food as before-because,as we noted -water willl already take plenty space in your belly. 

2) Eat small portions of food every 3 hours !

A lot of people don't understand how important this is for your metabolism. How often did you hear people complaining "I don't understand why Im not loosing weight,I eat only once a day".

Well, that's exactly the problem.

Don't ever starve yourself.  The most important things is to stay healthy. Your body needs energy for all day activities,so eating once a day is the worst thing u can do to yourself,your health and then your looks. Nature is magical and our bodies are smarter then we know- if u eat only once a day our organism receives single that we are in state of shortage so it will start saving fat in stocks instead of burning it - so any small thing we eat (once a day) will end up showing on our bodies.

Secondly,our stomachs are elastic-bigger portions we eat ,our belly (gizzard) will keep on expanding,so it will take lager portions to satisfy hunger. Opposite,once you get your stomach used to smaller portions,it will shrink down and you will simply get full very fast with way smaller amount of food!

3) Don't ever skip breakfast!

Eat first thing in the morning! A lot of people are complaining that they "simply don't have appetite/time" to eat in the morning,but guess what- 99% of people that struggle with weight problems regularly skip breakfast.So wrong .Its the most important meal of our day ,it will give your body needed energy and it's a signal to your organism that your day has started-so it can activate your metabolism for the day.

4) Don't eat late

Let your body rest! I normally don't eat after 8. Even though you'll might get a hunger attack around midnight,try and drink water or green tea with lemon instead of food. It might be little bit difficult in the beginning,especially if you are used to late night meals/snacks,but after a while your body will get rid of that habit and stop demanding for food. Keep in mind,this kind of meals are literally good for nothing!

5) You need to move!

I know how we all sit and stare at our phones hoping that somewhere on social media somebody will just come up with magical solution that will get us our dream bodies quite effortlessly and instantly (well you can always do a surgery,true) but if not,good old workouts are just the best solution ever - for your health,mind,body and soul. 
Its completely free-You don't even need to go to the gym(I never went to a gym more than 4 times in my life) ,I do all my workouts at home. Yes,yes in my living room. I simply find workout videos on YouTube (there a billions,just choose one that you like the most) and do them every day :I normally do ab exercises (10minutes) and butt workout (another 10mins).20 minutes all together-really guys,no excuses!
Just don't give up at the beginning,because very soon you will become an addict. Your day just wont seem complete without it. It makes you feel so damn good! Useful! Strong! Fit! Focus on that priceless pleasure you get just after you finish your workout session,don't worry too much about results -they must start showing soon!
It just feels so damn sexy. Yum. 

If you can add 30 minutes jogging everyday ,that would be just perfect. 

What is 30 minutes of your day? Get up!

6) Waist Trainer? 

In combination with this little changes you will start practicing,why not. I like how it makes me feel like,but its not a magic stick that will solve all your life problems ,but it surely helps. So why not! I started using it again 3 weeks after I gave birth.

7) Our bodies are slaves of our habits!

Keep in your mind that your current lifestyle is something YOU created with settled habits you developed over the years. So the way you are used to certain things/routines now,you will ,the exactly the same way make yourself get used to new things that will follow your upgraded lifestyle! Trust me!

To "switch" to another lifestyle,all you have to do is to change your habits. Once all this good things becomes a part of your life, once you turned them into your habits,you simply won't feel good if you don't practice them. So after a while,everything will go smooth and easy. Now I totally got my body used to some things -for example:  I feel thirsty all the time,I get hungry exactly every 3 hours,and I simply cannot eat huge portions anymore etc. 

You can still enjoy your favorite foods,(I am such a foodie and never gave up on chocolate,cookies,hot wings,yummy African dishes etc ),you just need to know how to eat it,when to eat it and to have a limit.

From my point of view -I feel much better now,I have so much energy,I feel stronger and good in general. I feel confident. That's very huge aspect of the change you are about to make-psychological impact  it will have on you. And yes,it also shows on my body. 

Priceless. 

And it takes so little!

Body After Childbirth: Part 2 - The Reason Why Diets Never Work

Don't we all know at least one person (me,myself and I two years ago lol)  that is forever on diets,trying to lose weight without any visible results for years?

My advice is - stay away from diets. In my life ,I came across million and one diet and guess what : non of them ever worked. What exactly I mean by that?

Yes you can loose weight during that particular time you strictly obey the diet,but you and I and God knows- that can't last forever. 

A very strict deprivation of food that we love is a way more psychological thing that we know-  and deprivation cause a strong desire that is like a time bomb waiting to explode at the moment of weakness and next thing you know- you are in the kitchen,senselessly overeating and making up for all the time you couldn't enjoy all these yummy food to the point you don't even enjoy it .You will end up gaining more weight than you lost. That's why most of diets are known to cause "yo-yo" effect.

Then what next?

Back to the beginning. Next Monday will come.

But guess what?

One step forward,two steps backwards-It wont move you an inch further.

I swear its not about diets. Diets are temporary. Diets don't last. And it's normal! Effect of deprivation. Very natural thing.

So here we go- It's not about diet,it's about your lifestyle that must come out of self love and desire to do ourselves good. To give ourselves the best possible of everything. It's about changing some things for good,adopting some new habits and getting rid of old ones.

It's about a vision you create. Vision of better,healthier,hotter,more confident you.

And you know what is another big illusion?

It doesn't take as much as you think.

Just little things to change/add and you are on the right path!

Nothing drastic nothing dramatic,I promise.

Next post is about little tricks that helped me so much I turned into a part of my daily routine . 

Simple and short!

Stay tuned babes!

Feel free,repost and share if you find it useful!

Kisses

Part 1: Terrible LifeStyle Before Pregnancy;

To be very honest with you,for so many years I used to be very careless with my body. I would eat anyhow,any kind of rubbish,my lifestyle was very chaotic,I used to sleep during the day,live during the night ,than alcohol,I never used to practice any form of a physical activity,so I didn't look how I truly wished. I was just "there". Deep inside I knew I can do much,much better. But instead of getting up and taking my life into my hands I was busy making excuses- "I don't want society to tell me how should I look like";"Beauty comes in different ways,why must every girl look the same way to be considered 'beautiful' "; "What a superficial world "..etc.. I mean,true that...I still think the same ,but.. I was acting like Im having some "serious" principles and like I have a problem with entire society (familiar?) but than... 

March 2014,

I finally got to face myself. Reality check!

Being lazy when it comes to yourself can and will turn against you in so many ways,and you know it's soooo wrong! How do you know it's wrong?It simply doesn't make you feel good. In general. Period. It can cause a depression,it will cause a self esteem issues and it can make you really bitter and unhappy. Why again ? Because it means you don't show yourself enough of love and care! Simple and short!

It's not about trying to look like somebody else,it's about using your own potentials to create and build the best version of you. Spirituality,Mentally,Intellectually,and yes - Physically! And I got to face the fact that taking care of your body doesn't make you a superficial barbie doll (that was one of excuses right) and it gives you much much more than  good looks "only" - it's a source of physical strength,good health,and very very importantly : it's the way to build up your self confidence!

The fact you took your life in your hands,the fact you are putting an effort into bettering yourself makes you feel strong,proud,and helps you create a way better image of yourself. And guess what - the way you see yourself is exactly the way others will see you!

I finally understood that it doesn't take a rocket science or magic stick to change your life ( I was so sure it was such a mission impossible) and work towards the best possible version of you - I only changed the way I eat (nothing rigorous ,just a bit of discipline,I still got to enjoy food) , how I eat (from eating once a day I started eating every 3 hours small portions),I cut out all the sodas and juices and replaced it with water only (minimum 3l of water per day),I started working out (home workout,I never went to a gym!).

But the most important change I made was switching my state of mind from "I wish" to "Im so going to get it".  I stopped acting like what I want for myself is hardly reachable,available there,far away for somebody else only. 

Body of my dreams,that flat belly,hot legs-In my mind,I already owned it! 

That's how I was so sure Im never going to go backwards. No more "next Mondays". No more starting and stopping. It wasn't a diet. It was a new chapter of my life. A new lifestyle of mine. And, It was a done deal. 

Your Body,Life And Self Confidence After Childbirth

I think I literally got a billion and one email from ladies all across  the globe asking me "what exactly I did" to get my body back just after I gave birth. I was replying as much as I could,than I finally understood that It's quite impossible to share my experience with y'all that are willing to hear it by trying to replay to all the emails "one by one", so I decided to share it over here,on my blog ,so all of you can see it,than share with me your opinions,your own experiences,fears and expectations (participate ohhh,your stories are precious as well!).

At this very beginning,before we start ,I need you to know that everything that is happening to you is a product  of your State Of Mind and Life Style you choose for yourself. 

In following posts,I will introduce you to my personal life style,my habits (once I developed and once I got rid of),I will share with you all the tips and advices that I found useful and helpful hoping that it will inspire you,motivate you and help you get where you want to be .

P.S. 

I used to be so chubby half of my life,struggling with some excess weight (the point I try to make is-I was never a slim barbie doll type of a girl) ,but than finally I started changing my lifestyle and my points of view when it comes to my life in general, few months before I even got pregnant and guess what-now,after a childbirth,my body looks better than ever (osheyy baddo !) lol :D

Nothing is Impossible and you can be anything you want to be. 

Don't let anyone try convince you otherwise. 

Let's learn some few new things,break some good ol' myths,replace tragic expectations with a positive attitude and work on getting the best possible version of ourselves.... For ourselves! 

Ok this was kind of an intro (I guess),

Hope you guys are ready?

Stayyyy tuneddd,

Truly Yours 

Mrs Ogbonna 

Justice For Thickness And Curves !

I want to ask y'all.. Is it fair?

Must a curvy woman hide her body shape to avoid criticism and judgmental comments?

If a slim lady wears the same tight dress,the same jeans,the same bikini,if she poses in a way that shows her back it's ok and its not "vulgar" and her dressing is not "attention seeking" or "shameless" or "inappropriate". But if thick woman wore EXACTLY the same piece,she would be "advised" to "cover up".

Pffff what a double standard! 

Y'all let women be. Especially you women should let women be!

We all have a unique and special beauty. We are ll different!And there is no better feeling than being comfortable in your own skin.

The truth is,self confidence doesn't just happen to us over night. It takes ages to be built. Tough work my friends! Since puberty we face and later on try to fight million and one insecurity when it comes to our physical appearance and we are constantly being pressured by so called "beauty standards " and other people's opinion about how we suppose to look like plus massive media that is making an ordinary girl feel so bad and uncomfortable in her own skin. Finding and felling in love with yourself is such a long,bumpy journey.

And than ,finally,once you sense confidence and boldness in a woman that is capable of loving  and flaunting  herself proudly,you tend to put her on blast trying so hardly to break that confidence she has in her. 

"Can't she value her body?". "Why all this exposing?"
Let me guess..... Inappropriate right? 

Let me tell you what's inappropriate:

To be ashamed of your body and hide under "moral norms" to criticize others that are not.

Inappropriate is to try to bring someone,anyone, down because it seems so difficult to bring yourself up.

Inappropriate is  to be a female that's not capable of giving a compliment to another woman . 

My ladies. Let nobody bring you down. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your femaleness,grace and sexuality. You need to feel good about yourself. And most of all,you need to know what defines you as a human being and build an unconditional love with a person in the mirror,love that nobody and nothing can shake,break or affect.

Love you.

How My Husband Helped Me Get Out Of Depression

I suffered serious depression for a while and thanks to my husband,his love,support and words of wisdom I finally got to pull myself together and understand life way better. He helped me spot mistakes and behavior I was practicing that was only helping me sink into depression more and more. And I wasn't even aware!At some point I felt like I was drowning in my own emotions,chocking on my own words and that terrible feeling of helplessness.

Than I had one of these endless conversations with my man where I was pouring my heart out,all the confusion,insecurities,fears,anger that was in me. From where? I have no idea. But he understood what was wrong. He spotted the source of my depression when I didn't even get to see it myself and what he told me really changed my life in a way.

So holding on to the past basically suffocate all the joy,genuine happiness,peace,and enjoyment of the moment you are actually living and it can sabotage and block all good things and blessings that are on the way to meet you in future. In no time it can turn you into a bitter,sad,helpless person,very unpleasant to be around.

How it actually happens?

1) We tend to idealize our past

Was I the only one? I used to remember some moments from past as wayyyy more perfect than they really were in reality. That popular "Good old times" syndrome. Let's try remember them "good old times" well well... Hmmm.. Think better! Hold on,wait a minute-they actually were not THAT "good" all the way yeah?

But somehow,all bad moments,struggles,tears,problems from that period vanished from our memories  and we blindly compare every moment we are experiencing now to idealized,unrealistic past we created in our minds that never let any moment in our present look "that amazing" or "that special" again.

The idealized past steals the whole shine from our present  and instead we breathe in every single moment we facing here and now,open our eyes and hearts to the all beautiful,magical miracles and magnificent moments that are happening to us and around us,we throw it all away in the name of "how it used to be" and silly feelings of painful nostalgia mixed with regrets and idea that "things will never be the same"/"It could have been so much better". 

Common love! Get over it.Wake up. Set yourself free. Don't trade your  today for illustrations of your past. Besides,things are only getting better anyways. Let this unique,special,amazing,irreplaceable "today" bring smile on your face! 

2) We tend to bring negative memories from our past to our present. 

Doesn't matter how long ago something bad happened to us,if we still think of it intensively,we are going through it over and over again. That's the fact.

If you faced painful disappointment,betrayal,heartbreak,and you tend to bring it out very often,it will definitely push present and all good things,magnificent experiences and blessings it might bring and replace it with toxic piece of your past that you let happen over and over again. In your head of course. If you think of negative experiences you been through so intensively,It   won't let you rest,it won't help you get peace and joy nether will let you prosper and move forward.

It will blind you from seeing all good things,magical moments and it won't let you live your life. You won't be free,you will be a prisoner of your past and negative things that are performing no where else but in your head only. Such a joy and great life opportunities killer.

Give yourself a chance to move on and be happy!

You are a hero not a victim!

Whatever we been through was meant to prepare us for what is coming. It all happened in our favor and for sake of making us better. Andddd- that's pretty much it! End of the story. Now feel free,leave past where it belongs- in the past!

Focus on what you want. Focus on present. Enjoy every moment. Talk about amazing future plans,good things that are happening,count your blessings. Smile . Laugh. Have fun. Think good thoughts. Positive ones. Get excited. Start acting like you expect good news every day. Don't be surprised when you start hearing them plenty. 

That's just life.

You create it,you shape it according your own taste with power of your thoughts and words. Nobody else can do it but you. 

"You get what you focus on,so focus on what you want!"

P.S. Thank you baby <3