Friday, 8 April 2016
The Reason Why You Feel Helpless And Paralyzed To Take Your Life Into Your Hands And Get Where You Want To Be
I've been through a lot of changes in past 2 years,my life went from 0 to 100,I moved from
Europe to Africa,I got married,became a mom,faced new,different forms or responsibilities,tapped into new world,new culture,far from everything that was familiar to me.
You would say-all beautiful things,people pray for all that, but the truth is ,every different stage of life brings new things and of course we can't possibly be prepared for all. And yes it happens to everyone to a different extended,we can't know it all even if we think we do,so happens we don't always know how to adapt .
However,at some point,I couldn't keep up,I sinked into a form of depression.
Depression is nasty. Really. I was constantly crying,nothing used to make sense,nothing kept me excited,happy,I felt so lazy to start anything productive considering my life,I lost a will to live and look forward to future,everything seemed so empty and dark.
What did I do?
I started seeing myself as a victim of circumstances and wrong choices I felt I made.
Putting yourself in a role of a victim is very common mechanism of defense we subconsciously develop when we are passing through challenging times and situations that takes more of emotional/physical/mental/intellectual efforts than usual,as we fail to adapt to new circumstances that follows.
Today,by analyzing myself,my thoughts and behavior ,I got to the conclusion of what really kept me paralyzed to move out of this terrible mental state and start seeing and receiving beautiful things that I was surrounded with:
Out of the sudden,it was everybody else's fault,I was blaming people around me for everything that I was going through,for everything I felt I couldn't do,for everything that seemed limited and unavailable for me.
I just decided that I was a helpless victim of other people's actions and decisions and world that is happening so unapologetically around me without waiting for me to come back to my senses.
What exactly made me feel that frozen/paralyzed to shake,move,jump and take my life in my hands?
I just told you- as you accept a role of a victim ,you accept yourself being helpless when it comes to any aspect of your life. Yet,you give power to other people's behavior and actions by truly believing thar they are ones adding to your misery and disaster.
This might also affect people around you in a very bad way:
As soon as you start seeing yourself as a victim,you automatically have an excuse to justify your bad behavior towards people and world around you. You create an excuse,an "explanation",a "reason" for yourself and expect people around you to "buy" it,understand and settle.
And that my friends,make you sink deeper and deeper in places,I'm sure,you don't want to be at.
Self pity leads to frustration,helplessness leads into anger,sadness,aggression or total isolation from the rest of the world. It brings hatred,jealousy,envy into your heart.
This feelings suffocate you,bling you,don't let you breathe. They tie you down and let you rote in your own misery.
Absolutely nothing good can come out of it.
People around you will get tired of your nagging,complains and bad energy you constantly exhale.
But.. Don't blame them.
You became toxic.
No one wants toxic in their system.
That doesn't mean nobody ever truly loved you.
People will love you,care about you,wish you well,but my dear,don't expect anything from anyone.
The truth is,only you can save yourself.
Others can help you with their love and support yes,but moment you understand that the problem is between you and yourself not between you and the rest of the world,you are on the good path.
You certainly can't control the world,but have power in you to filter how world around you will affect you. What really matters is not what you come across,but the way you respond to it.
That is why the only person that can possibly be responsible for what is happening to you is nobody else but - you!
You are one extremely powerful creature!