Saturday, 16 April 2016

You Say Cheating Is Normal And Ok? Hmmm

Well. I came across different people and I've heard million and one opinion and story about different life matters and situations.

Human nature is very colorful. Very unpredictable. We can't think the same,we can't possibly have the same system of values,points of view,life philosophies and because of that we certainly can't obey (at least not all of us) some of norms and forms of behavior that society is forcing on us.

No matter what,people will always have different religions,different beliefs,different sense of what is right/wrong,beautiful/unattractive etc.

Same thing with monogamy. Not everyone believes in it. And it's ok.

I personally do believe in soulmate. I believe that there is one person in this whole wide world that is meant for you ,that will help you get the best out of you and yes,I do believe in monogamy.

My problem is not in fact that there are people who think differently then I or my husband do.
But I have a serious issue with people deceiving others,especially the ones they claim they love.

If you don't believe in monogamy,than simply  DON'T promise it to anyone. DON'T make a very clear commitment to someone promising them faithfulness and loyalty if you know you can't fulfill it.

Y'all are my people,you know very well that I'm far from a judgement person but the issue we have here is not in fact that you will give me a million and one explanation to justify why is absolutely "normal" to go and have a physical connection with another human being out of your relationship. Nah.

Issue ,my friends,is way deeper.

Problem with adultery is not you getting  sexuality or emotionally involved with another person. What makes it so painful ,deep and wrong is the fact broke your promise and commitment you MADE YOURSELF.
Directly and automatically.

Step two- that clearly means that you will have to get involved with activities like constant lying,hiding-secretive behavior.

How do you call doing things behind someone's back? Betrayal right ?

And what of humiliation? When you do something behind person's back,you make that same person look sooooo stupid. People/person you are seeing/texting/calling/sleeping with/spending money on is laughing at human being  YOU chose to build YOUR life with.

Let me tell you,when things go down in your life,your parents,siblings,friends might feel for you,but the only person that will be there and truly get affected and shaken with whatever you are going through is your life partner-a person you share your life with.

And to betrayal such person,my dear friends,because you lacked courage to be honest and fair to your true nature at the first place,is wrong.

Just be very true to yourself. Don't let society make you do or promise things you are not ready for.

Believe it or not,i know couples that been together for years and decades,they love and care about each other in their own way,but they are openly seeing other people- and guess what? They function. Why? Because there is HONESTY. They don't lie to each other. They don't hide things away from each other. They both agreed on something and it works for them. Now you might think that it's crazy,but I do get essence of these relationships,even though it opposite of what I personally believe in.

Honesty is a key. It's all about respecting a MUTUAL agreement .

On the other hand,I want to tell y'all,especially ladies that it's not normal for you to settle on something that brings you pain.
I said especially ladies,NOT because men cheat more,but only because men cheating is tolerated and more socially acceptable .

Don't let anyone tell you that it's something YOU MUST live with. Stop justifying and excusing behavior that breaks your heart. Adultery is not a norm,it's just a lifestyle and a choice. If it's acceptable and ok for somebody else and if others can live with it,that doesn't mean you have to do the same if it's against what you truly desire or believe in.

People are very different,there is no space for generalization. Just find a person who shares similar system of values with you,so y'all can be on the same page.

Don't settle,stop looking for excuses - if your partner's behavior brings you pain,tears and sleepless nights, then there is a high possibility that you are stuck with a wrong person,because taste of love isn't bitter.

I promise.


  1. Me and my roommates have gotten into argument about men's infidelity so many times. They believe all men cheat but he won't rub it in your eyes or you won't find out if he loves/respect you. I believe "NOT ALL MEN CHEAT". Even if its 1 out of 100, I better wait for the one

  2. This is exactly how I feel about the issue to. I keep on telling all my friends that not all men cheat so do not go around saying that and believing that because you attract what you believe in. And just because someone cheats doesn't make them a bad person they are just a cheat and you said it well they should do the right thing and not pretend to be faithful in the first place. I love your posts Sonia and your spirit you are such a happy soul.

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