Guide For A Modern Pregnant Woman: How To Stay Sexy,Look Amazing And Feel Good

We all agree: there is nothing as miraculous and powerful as woman caring a new life in her womb for whole 9 months.
What a blessing!

But truth for the matter,pregnancy as well freaks us out. Like seriously.

Let me start with myself: when I found out I was expecting a child,I almost fainted even thought we saw it coming. I started panicking. Crying. I was scared to death.
How will this affect my life? My mind and body? Will the Sonia I know be gone forever?  Will pregnancy make me ugly? Unhappy? Depressed? Unattractive? Will it be very awkward,painful and uncomfortable?
What can I expect?

I can still remember the emotional roller coaster I have passed through.

And I can bet,I am not alone.

So,my ladies,my intention with this post is to share some tips that helped me take the best out of this miraculous 9 months and rock the pregnancy like a fancy,unique million dollar accessories.

1) DOLL UP HON!

- I know you would feel lazy,moody and tired,and that is all normal,but don't allow yourself to sink into it! 

Even before I got pregnant,I used to admire dolled up pregnant ladies. Like,there is nothing more beautiful than a vibrant preggy hottie /slayer with belly.  When I was pregnant,every single time I felt down,I would force myself to get up,do my hair,do some lovely make up,pick a cute sexy outfit and go to mall. Or super market. Or just take a walk. It worked like a therapy for me.  Pregnancy doesn't mean you must stay in pajamas,baggy,unattractive clothes and messy bun on top of your head while moving from couch to bed. 

Don't you stop slaying love!

Love this pic,I was about 6 months pregnant here 

2) EAT RIGHT !

Heavy,oily food makes even a non pregnant person lazy,sleepy and tired. You should try and eat regularly but healthy mostly for the sake of your baby but also for the sake of your mood . Trust me,what we eat has a lot to do with how we feel.
Forget that "eat for 2" nonsense. Increase intake of vitamins ,proteins and water,and not chips,pounded yam,Fanta,chocolate and fried chicken. And let's keep it real: pregnancy doesn't mean you  need that 2am meal. At all.
Staying fit REALLY means staying happy. And yes,your postpartum body will be thankful;) 

3) STAY ACTIVE!

-I repeat: I know you feel lazy and tired. But as long as you have a normal,healthy pregnancy there is absolutely  no reason for you to lay in bed all day as if you are,God forbid,sick.
Pregnancy is not disability.
I remember,I used to go out ,even clubbing with my husband while pregnant and I had so much fun (turning up with bottles of water for the first time of my life lol). It was a different kind of unforgettable experience for me.
However,stay social. Hang out with people that make you happy. Laugh. Have FUN! Yes,being pregnant does not mean you should be restricted from having fun and enjoying yourself (as long as you stay away from heavy drinks,smokes and drugs of course).
Hey ,it's still the same old you with some extra blessing in your sexy belly.
Stay physically active as well. I mean,you don't have to go to gym and lift weights but you can have a 20 min walk every day. It will mean a lot for your mental and physical health. And that sexy body of yours. 

4) THINK POSITIVELY 

- Stop thinking and talking about potential risks pregnancy can bring. Common. Don't let fears spoil this special experience for you. Rather focus ,think and talk about all the beautiful things caring a new life brings. Your bigger boobs for example. LOL 

Surround yourself with positive minds,people who inspire you and give you hope ,whether in real life or social media. Breathe and absorb positivity only. 

Suffocate fears and panic with gratitude. You have so much to be thankful and excited for.
You are truly blessed. 

5)SHOW YOURSELF SOME LOVE
-If you can not afford spa treatments and wellness centers ,that does not mean you can not enjoy. You can still pamper yourself at home. Few times a week make sure you give yourself an hour of "me time". Play your favorite music,run a bubble bath,read a good book,put a mask on your face,make sure you smell and feel finer then the finest rose.

6) YES, YOU ARE STILL SEXY BOO

- And you will stay irresistible for a very long time. Pregnancy is a piece of cake for you,miraculous woman!

7)DO IT FOR YOURSELF FIRST 

-Make sure you keep yourself fly for yourself first. Do not do it because you want to earn an approval or a compliment from your man or any other person. This "effort" is about you alone this time around. You deserve to feel good about yourself,pregnant or not.

Diary of a Lagosian : When You Get Intimidated By BIG GIRLS,FAKE ACCENTS & "I JUST CAME FROM ABROAD" STORY TELLERS

I feel like people are under serious pressure and constant competition between themselves.
Pressure to make their friends envious,to appear "richer", more "sophisticated","bigger" or "fancier" and,fam, it really turns out to be ridiculous at times.

"Packaging" is that how you guys call it?
LOL

Well,"packaging" comes in all different shapes,shades and forms,and I could not help it but to make a list of most common ones , I CAN BET,you are already familiar with:

FAKE ACCENT ALERT 

Do you have an idea how many times I have heard ladies and gentlemen mocking people that don't sound "British" or "American" enough?You guys! Common! Is it by force? "OMG ,is it only me or she sounds so local?" . "What a bush girl,no class". (*rolling eyes *)

Talking of myself,do you know how many people told me I should "work on my accent" ("Why don't you try and speak "AMERICAN"(whatever that suppose to mean) it would suit you better"). 

"The way you talk doesn't match your physics".

"Fine girl like you hmmm"

WHAAAT?

I am even proud that I can communicate in English. It's not my language by any means.

I am not British,nor American and I never lived in English speaking country before. And let's be real: Nether are you. And that's just fine. 

God gave me a beautiful gift,I pick languages really fast and if I really wanted to change my accent I would,but I don't really wish to. Why would I?

Be you. Embrace your own. Why do you think someone else's is better?

Truth to be told,some people naturally "absorb" accent after living abroad (even if it's for a short period of time) and that's absolutely normal and ok,but it's very wrong to look down at people for sounding "local" (as you say).
There is a heritage behind that "African" sounding accent ,you know?

Also,it's a shame that so many people forget where we live and that not everyone was able to afford to go to school and learn "proper English". It's really not a mocking matter.

There is also nothing wrong with slangs and broken English.
I know people,especially ladies,who constantly act like they can't speak or understand pidgin,thinking that they will appear "posh" that way.
I find it silly.
You don't see all these foreigners falling in love with it and embracing it even though they never lived in Nigeria for a day?

I find it super charming and cute. 

And most importantly, it's authentically yours.
Who english epp? :)

I AM FROM AMERICA 

So we met at the party. Casual conversation. 

-So where you from ? (referring to a state of origin)

-I am from Washington DC.(proudly,with exaggerated  American accent)

Bruh. For real???

We met in LasGidi. Naija bruh. And you are telling me you are from Washington. Big boy ,what a way to let me know that you are NOT one of them "local" boys,abi?

I get secretly annoyed when I feel like people are ashamed of something I believe they should be super proud of. 

You have a privilege to be familiar with where you are coming from,your tradition,native language. Culture.You know where your grate grand father village is. You know yourself.

Honestly,I think average American wish he had all that. Don't take it for granted. Embrace your heritage.
If I hear Yankee again!

Which Washington Ugochuckwu? 

Grrrrhhmm

I ONLY SHOP ABROAD 

No,you don't. I saw you at Balogun market last week. Hehe

But for real. Stop.
Buy Made in Nigeria,it's  way more cool to support your own! ;-)
I mean ,I understand you like to shop in that massive Dubai mall and yes,malls abroad offer some things we can't find in Nigeria, but "I ONLY SHOP ABROAD" is not an achievement for you to be mentioning it out loud everywhere you go.

First time I came to Nigeria (it was really long time ago) I was invited to attend a big wedding and I needed an outfit badly. However,I wasn't familiar with Lagos at that time so I was thinking it's better to ask someone where can I find nice dresses. So,there was this "big girl" sitting with us so I approached her ,asking where would she direct me to. You guys! Wish you saw girl's face expression. She was openly and very clearly disgusted. "Honey,girls like us don't shop in Nigeria. Ever. We shop strictly abroad " (need I mention strong British accent?lol). I didn't understand what was the whole thing about,I was kind of confused.

However guys. Don't get it twisted,where you "shop"is not a matter of wealth or status.
I know very rich and successful folks who shop in local markets and some of them are very proud of it.
Honestly and very personally,I really enjoy Lagos markets,it feels like an adventure for me. I understand,some people find it extremely stressful,that's ok but there is no need to act and sound  snobbish. Trust me,it's not bringing your value any higher. NAH!

YOUR SKIN IS SO YELLOW,YOU LOOK SO CLEAN AND FRESH.

Wait a minute.

So dark skin doesn't look "clean"? 

I get angry when I hear such comments. Not everything "lightskin" means "beautiful,clean and fresh". Beauty comes in all different shades.
Again,don't think I'm throwing shades on women that bleach their skin,I can never do such because as a female  that I am I am pretty much aware that there is a thing every woman on planet earth (whether she is black,white,asian,mixed etc) has in common, which is : we all want what we don't have,especially when it comes to physical appearance. And we are never satisfied.White girls want to tan,black girls bleach,girls with curly hair want straight hair and girls like me by all means try to get their hair curled...etc... That's just the way we all are.There is nothing personal about it.

However,it's upsetting me that it became a norm to refer to lighter skin as "fresher" or "more beautiful" which,in my opinion,really isn't the case. 

THIS THING LOOKS SO LOCAL! 
I still don't get why so many people refer to LOCAL as if it's something bad or something we should be ashamed of.
Like "local" is opposite of expensive or fancy. Or maybe LOCAL should be for less privileged?
I don't get.
I don't want my son and my future children to grow up thinking that their very own "local" is something they should not be proud of.
Because every single "local" thing about Nigeria is amazing.
Food
Fabrics
Jewelry
Outfits
Music
Nature
People

Priceless.Think about it.

Now don't get me wrong.

There is also nothing wrong with learning from other cultures and adopting different ways that might not be familiar to our own.
I  am a product of different cultures I came across for my life time so far and I think we grow when we  "open" ourselves to differences and unknown instead rejecting it before we even give ourselves a chance to get to know it.

I did not point at this things to mock anyone. Y'all know, that is not my style.

I did it to try and set some of you free of that ridiculous pressure this crazy society puts us through and to remind you that the way you speak English or where you shop is not what defines you,your skills,talents and abilities and that your true beauty and power comes out when you embrace yourself  for who you truly are instead of trying to be something or someone you are not,because what you embrace can never be used against you.

Don't let your "role models" make you feel intimidated because you are not "all that".
You are way more then "all that".

Trust your girl.
You ROCK

XX

See Abuse This Popular,Gorgeous East African Girl Faced For Dating A White Man (Pictures Attatched)

My beautiful East African friend is glowing. She has a new guy who seems to be making her really happy.

Just today,I got a call from her. She was so upset,almost sad.
Then she sent me a screenshots of a terrible online abuse she had to face for having a guy that is not her skin color.

I asked her for approval to share it with you guys,and she said I should go ahead because message and point we try to make is very clear: Love is really all that matters.

Check this out:

It upsets me that to some people we are still nothing but a color,whether black or white, or maybe a tribe. Or any other similar superficial category.

Common people,are we not all just human beings,all of us created by the same hand of the very same Almighty God,no matter how we choose to call Him??

And that same God is Love.
Pure Love.

Put GOD before religion and HUMANITY before division.

I personally don't give a damn about such a foolish stereotypes and I can not entertain them even though my husband and I face very similar kind of a "thing" from time to time as well .

All I can tell you guys......Follow your heart and always be with the person that makes your heart smile the most. Does not really matter if he/she is from your village or from other part of the world.


BTW...
Let me share a picture of this beautiful ,young couple :

Aren't they looking hot together?

My Secrets To A Bigger Booty

Hey dolls!
A lot of you keep asking me what do I do to maintain my body shape,so I decided to share some few tips and secrets  when it comes to my diet because the type of  food you eat is actually what matters the most and ,honestly,doing exercises alone will not grow your booty.

"Does fast food make my butt bigger?
By eating a lot of junk foods it’s easy to think that your butt will get bigger but what’s happening really is you’re destroying your body.
Remember that you only want get a bigger butt and not bigger belly or arms..
That’s what will happen if you eat pure junk foods. You will gain some weight on your butt however, you will get with it a lot of belly fat, flabby arms and the list goes on.
Let’s not forget to mention that the fat you gain on your butt as a result of eating junk foods will make it saggy and floppy.
So the point is, just binging on junk food will not help.

Now remember, these aren’t magic foods therefore, by themselves they won’t work. Adding them alternately in your daily diet along with proper booty workouts will give you fantastic results.
This is a must eat food if your goal is to get a bigger butt. It’s packed with good fats and tons of protein to help grow your glutes (butt) muscle."

So lets take a little trip to my fridge,
I will introduce you to top 12 foods that will help you get flatter stomach and bigger butt :

1) Chicken

Chicken is packed with protein and is beneficial in growing your buttocks’ mass. Eating chicken instead of red meat is a better option because it has less cholesterol.

2) Sweet potatoes

Instead of eating the white rice or white flour you can eat nutritious calorie dense foods such as sweet potatoes which will help you gain mass on your butt.

Sweet potatoes are also known for burning stomach fat

3) Eggs

Egg is one of the healthiest and most efficient forms of protein source on the planet. It’s a very good source of energy that will help to power your workouts and it will definitely help you grow your booty.

Since it’s a good source of protein it will help in muscle building and repair. In this case, we’re talking about your glutes.

It’s best to consume them in the morning as it will help to power you throughout the day and during your workouts.

4) Avocados

Avocado isn’t a good source of protein but it’s a fantastic source of monosaturated fats. These fats will help you gain mass on your buttocks and reduce bad cholesterol in your body.

It contains a lot of vitamins, potassium, fiber and amino acids, all which help you get a bigger butt.

5) Spinach

This vegetable is packed with nutrients and is known as one of the best iron rich foods. It’s one of the best vegetable foods to eat in muscle building.

6)Oatmeal

This is one of the best foods for breakfast as it’s very filling and nutritious. It contains micro nutrients that will help to increase your muscle mass. In other words, it’s a fantastic food to grow your butt size.

7)Brown rice

This is one of the best sources of carbohydrates and fiber and is especially good for eating after working out. It’s very helpful in giving your body the fuel needed to sustain your muscle mass while doing your butt workouts.

8) Steak

For your butt to grow you need a good amount of protein in your diet in order to sustain growth.

Steak is a very powerful source of protein and can definitely increase your glutes’ mass.

So after doing that intense booty workout try to eat a steak for dinner and feed your booty with powerful protein.

9)Greens

If you think eating vegetables is only for weight loss, think again.

Some of the best ones to look for are leafy green vegetables, tomatoes, berries, cucumbers, broccoli and brussels sprouts.

10)Fish

This is a very good protein source especially for transitioning vegetarians.  Some of the most popular ones are tuna, tilapia and salmon.

Fish is one of the best foods to grow your bum because it contains omega-3 fatty acid’s which are known as healthy fats.

12)Protein shake

There’s a reason why body builders love to drink protein shakes before or after their workouts. It’s a fast acting protein source that absorbs in your muscles pretty fast, especially after a workout.

So definitely drinking protein shakes will help you grow your butt bigger.  It helps with building muscle mass.

Eating healthy will also help you feel better about yourself in general.

Natural and healthy ways will take longer until you spot that change you want to see,but key is in consistence.

Take pride in your small victories and,

Don't forget, we all have different body constitutions by nature,so your goal should not be to look like someone else,but to start looking like the best possible version of you.

LOVE YOU

XX

"What do I do?": Marriage/Relationship Crisis

I will tell you straight up - there is no couple in this world that have been together for a long time without meeting any form of challenges on their way. Even the most compatible,ideal matches do argue and  at some point they find themselves facing very tough times.
Crises are super painful.
They make us doubt. Wander. Overthink. Sometimes we feel like leaving. Or should I stay? Is he the right partner for me? Why do I suffer this much then? What if I have made a mistake? What is right? Who is wrong?

Madness and headache.
Vulnerable mind is a devil's playground. And devil is a very creative mofo. Indeed.

If you suffer from heartache,wanders,if you feel like your relationship or marriage is about to fall apart,I want you to continue reading.

Is there really a problem?

First of all,we do blow things out of the proportions by attaching meanings to not so relevant things. I think you know what I mean. That is what happens when we are emotionally involved with someone. We take everything personal and our fears and worries can make us see all the things we don't want to see just because we hold on to them so badly. From my very personal experience I can tell you that you don't have a problem that you think you have. At least not a rational one. In emotional relationships by taking everything way too personal we create false beliefs that turn reality because we feed them with so much strength,energy and focus.

Then your relationship sinks deeper and deeper into confusion,mess,accusations,blame,anger,frustration,pain and helplessness. Why? Because our focus is constantly on  the wrong picture and wrong idea of having a "bad relationship/marriage". What we focus on grows.

We are all different and every couple has a different challenge,a very specific tough path that was given to them for a reason.

I think I heard somewhere "Test before testimony"

All my life I used to think,like most of you,that crises in relationships are bad thing. Just recently,I have changed my perception towards it,because I realized that no bond was ever build within a comfort zone.

• Love.
• Friendship.
• Trust.
• Care.
• Understanding.
• Support.
• Faith.
• Loyalty.

Non of these categories really manifests during good times. When things are smooth and everything happens the way you want it it's easy to believe,to love,understand,trust or be a support system to someone. Under right circumstances almost everyone can it for you. To know each and every of this categories that make every healthy relationship meaningful you have to pass though unusual something.

When things are really bad our task is to overcome it.
Mostly,people are busy looking for flaws,blame and mistakes in each other and that is what makes couples sink deeper in painful confusion,darkness and crises. I'm sure some of you know how draining this is. It can exhaust you until you literally go crazy and forget everything good about your relationship and your partner.

Ask yourself: do you want this relationship to work?
NO?
Good and fine,you can leave and that is also very ok .
But you are still there.That means you want it to work.You want to be happy with our partner.
Since you choose to stay involved,you will have to start acting according your choice, otherwise you will really run mad.

In order to heal,you must start from yourself.
You must take responsibility over your own part. Not 60%. Not 89%,but 100%.
Tough times are sign that it's about the time for us to turn to ourselves,and not to point fingers and count our partner's sins and mistakes on loud.
Energy is contagious. Positive and Negative.
Once you start thinking of how your partner feels instead of always considering how much of a victim you are,you will by default trig the same kind of behavior from your partner.

Note to yourself: the biggest mistake people make when they start practicing this method is their instant expectation of what will their partner do for them in return and how fast will their efforts be acknowledged. Don't do that. That means you are bringing yourself into picture again.  You don't love someone by expecting love in return. A true action of love does not have self  interest in it.
Do not just wait to receive love so you can give it.

Start the process of exchanging good energy and positive vibrations yourself.

Every crises you overcome will build your relationship stronger.
Challenges given to you are meant to strengthen the weakest links of your relationship with your loved one.
This thinking is what cures my pain instantly every time I face issues in my marriage.When I just think of it as a process that will make us love each other more and deeper,my vibration instantly changes and different attitude and perception brings new dimensions and different circumstances.

What excites me is to know that the roughest paths normally leads to the most amazing places.

Things You Need To Know To Become A MONEY MAGNET

It is not a lie that people live and die all in the name of money.
Money is motive.Money is tempting.Everybody wants money.
Basically,money rules the world and moves people like puppets.

But have you ever asked yourself what is money?
A peace of paper that man himself  gave a meaning and power.

Is money good or bad?
Money is a peace of paper. Paper does not have such features. Money can ether serve you or you serve money and that is what makes a massive difference.

I don't think money or luxury is a bad something. It put smiles on people's face. I believe in abundance and I think nobody was created and sent to this planet Earth to lack or to suffer.

But why it seems like making enough of money is a mission impossible for so many people?
Most of people work from morning till night just to pay bills and school fees for their children.
They still can't buy everything they wanna buy,or travel where they wanna travel,most even can't afford to eat out or go for drinks every time they feel like.

Hard work is clearly not enough.
So what is then a recipe of wealth?

There is one big illusion in the air : wealthy ones are not doing well simply because they are more fortunate then you.
Wealth is meant for you as well.  Life in abundance is equally meant for all of us.

What will determine the direction of your financial journey is  NOT your ability to save or sacrifice your needs,but your emotion and attitude towards money and your mindset.

There are people that did not have food to eat and faced poverty you will never know about and they are billionaires today.
Wealth is out there,available for everyone.But we don't know that what is blocking our wealth is not the circumstances we find ourselves in,nor people or situations around us.
We do it ourselves with the way we act,feel and think.

Our attitude and beliefs based on fear of lacking we create or adopt from our parents or society in general subconsciously create resistance towards money and that is how we become slaves of poverty mentality without even knowing.


These are FUNDAMENTAL norms that will help you break resistance towards wealth,set you free from poverty mentality slavery and turn you into a money magnet :

1) GRATITUDE

- Every single positive change in our lives must start with a feeling of gratitude. In order to attract more you must be thankful for all the amazing things you were already blessed with. Be aware,this is not a cliché.
I have impression that people literally compete with who will complain more every time they get together. Main topics are crises,bad economy,high school fees,rents,hard living and lack of money.
Can't you see how we underestimate our blessings and our constant focus is on things that we don't have?When we forget to be grateful,we become a walking source of negative vibrations and feelings such as anger,frustration,envy,sadness and this kind of energy can never allow all the blessings sent our way breakthrough and reach us.
Words that come out of your mouth are way more powerful then you know: they are tool that we should use to direct and mold our lives. Confess wealth and abundance. not poverty and brokenness.
Poverty mentality exists in complains . Wealthy mind is always grateful,no matter situation.

2) POSITIVE EMOTION TOWARDS MONEY

- In order to change your current situation you must change your predominant emotions when it comes to money. You must turn your worries into expectation. How?
SWITCH YOUR FOCUS FROM WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO WHAT YOU WANT!See it this way: worry is pushing your wealth away. expectation come with a feeling of excitement and comes with happiness and enthusiasm and these are tools that will help you break walls that are blocking your blessings.  In order to get anything in life,including money and material benefits,you must feel good about it. Positive feelings work like magnets. Worry does not make you appear like an responsible adult.It's nothing but a manifestation of doubt and fear. Nothing good ever came out of it. Set yourself free. You always get what you want,don't forget that.

3) BE GIVING

- I have never ever met anyone who lived a good life,a life in abundance by being stingy and at the same time I have never ever met anyone who became poor by giving.
When you don't feel comfortable with spending money,that is not because you are being "rational" or "economical" as you claim my dear. You run away from giving and spending out of FEAR. Fear that you will not have enough. Fear that more will not come your way. Fear that you will lack. Fear that something unpleasant will happen. FEAR!
Stingy people never see themselves as stingy. They see themselves as super wise and they think that is the way to secure future.
I have super stingy people around me as well.Every time they come to visit me they secretly roll their eyes thinking that I am being stupid because I am generous with people that work for me.I know they think that I am lavish and foolish. They are always "broke",things are always "expensive" and they "don't have money for that rubbish" That is all I hear every time we touch money topic.
They hold on to every naira so painfully but to be honest, so far I never noticed that this strategy of "making money" EVER helped them accumulate any wealth or a better living.

The truth is,stingy people live in constant fear. Fear is devil's favorite workshop. Fear means you did not settle for your blessings and that is why you live under the tension.

It is very simple: If you want to invite a life in abundance,you must live according to it!
Giving means you settled for having more then enough. That means you expect more to come your way.
People that are giving don't cling to money so desperately and  that is why they always have,not because they are more fortunate then you are.
Every time you feel like getting worried about your finances,overcome it by giving someone something extra just for the sake of giving and find a joy in it. Yes,you have that much!

4) BE HAPPY FOR OTHERS

- Law of abundance says that there is enough for everyone. You have to understand that just because others are living large that doesn't mean they took something away from you. When you understand that,then go ahead and  thank God for their success because it's an amazing proof to you that it's possible! Isn't that a great source of motivation? A driving force! Poverty mentality feeds with envy and jealousy,bad intentions and bad wishes. Poverty mentality also tend to makes us discredit other's testimonies  ("How many guys she slept with for that house?" ,"She has no talent,it's all connection"/"He is nothing but a scammer ").
If you catch yourself thinking this way,subconsciously or consciously,that means you should change your attitude immediately because this current one  will never help you get rich. Poverty mentality keeps us no where else but in poverty and a world of lacking because it drains us with meaningless distractions and wrong focus.
Stop blocking your wealth. Give others credit for their success. Stop looking for what is wrong about their ways and open yourself to learn about what is right about their moves,strategies and mindset. Wealthy mind does not waist energy on hatred and envy .Wealthy mind is focused on learning new things and upgrading his hustle.

5) ALL YOU NEED IS IN YOU

- We live in society where begging and asking for money and things is almost a hobby and I am not even talking about street beggars only. The moment people around you assume you make more then they do ,by default they must come and ask for one thing or another. "What do you have for me" and "give me something na" everywhere you turn to,from total strangers all way to the family members.
Poverty mentality turns people into scrubs and scrubs can ever live a life in abundance.
Wealthy mindsets will help you attract generous people and acts, fortunate situations and amazing opportunities your way and you will never lack because you have acknowledged yourself as powerful source of wealth and fortune and by being a scrub you shut the door of wealth in your life down  : you acknowledge others as a source of wealth while you collect the small pieces they decide to dash you out.

We are more powerful then you know.

Everything begins and ends in our mind.

So does wealth.

Conquer your mind and the world is yours

You Are In A Relationship With Him,But Is He In A Relationship With You As Well?

You really like this guy. You might actually be in love with him. Every time your phone rings you hope it's him. When he calls,you cancel every single plan of yours and you rush to see him. You are always available for him-you want him to see that you are serious and willing to commit. You put your whole life on stand by. But at times,you are not sure if he feels the same about you. Even though you tell everyone that he is your man,deep inside of you there is a big question and you feel silly to ask ,but you really want to know: "What exactly are we?"
Your heart is simply not in peace and wonders are about to drive you crazy.When you call he does not always pick,you see him only when he wants to and his life seems like a mystery to you. You don't really know much about him. You guys are not as public as you wish. You normally meet for a couple of hours,maybe once a week (not as often as you would like) and the quality of the time you spend together is... Hmm...well it's normally about sex.. But yeah,you have fun together,you as well met couple of his friends,maybe hit a club several times and stuff..but..
There is just something that brings doubt into your heart and it does not want to let you be.

Every girl on planet earth was in this situation ,I can bet.

How to know if guy takes you seriously?

Let me keep it real with you fam...If you have to wander about the nature of your relationship with a man and his intentions towards you,well,most of the times that is a first sign that he is not really up to a serious relationship with you.

The truth of this life is : When man wants a woman,he will make it very clear to her.Crystal clear. There won't be space left for guessing and headaches.

Guys don't always tell you ,but they definitely always show you what type of a relationship they want with you.
-Is he always busy?
-Does he call ?
-How often does he text to let you know that you are in his mind?
-Does he check up on you and your well being?
-Can you talk to him openly about your life and your personal challenges?
-Are you free around him to be who you are or you are always afraid that you'll might do something that will turn him off?
-Can you call in the middle of the night or count on him if you need help?

Do your maths baby girl.

Maybe he needs more time?

A woman that does not want to consider a "move on" option always choose to wander if her guy maybe needs more time to understand how awesome she actually is.

My dear,there is no such thing as "I am not ready" when it comes to a woman a man truly wants. He would make himself ready if needed.
Most of the times guys give that kind of speech when he wants to set limits and clearly let you know that "relationship" between you two is something casual and commitment free in a polite way so he can still have the access to the goodies jar.

Most common stories you will get served are mostly about how he is not where where he wants to be financially,or due family issues he  simply "can't focus" on having a serious relationship at the moment or how he had a terrible past experience with his ex he did not recover from (Familiar? Lol) .

So basically (let's be fair),most of the times guys actually make it  all very clear to us .
But there is something in us women that makes us see what we want to see. All of the sudden,you feel like you are the one that needs to "save",cure and "fix" him up so you decide to turn into a"ride or die" for someone who does not even want to ride with you not even to the nearest corner.

So what normally happens next: after you tried so hard to appear and seem like everything you think he likes,so carefully tried to be his ideal kind of a woman and all he could possibly wish for and more,after months of forcing so hard on something supported by nothing but a fake hope and illusion you created all by yourself,you end up alone,hurt and angry,blaming the whole mankind for being "all the same".

My dear sister,
Your role in man's life is not to "catch" him.
You don't have to starve so desperately to impress a man hoping that he will (finally) acknowledge you as his woman.
You are not there to wander is someone out there is going to take you seriously or not.

You can stay home on weekends,call as you like,text like crazy,stop hanging out,stop talking to other guys and try your best to seem like his Miss Perfect,but more you try to become someone you are not in order to be liked,more you will loose your own "flavor" and that your own very special personal energy and charm.

No,it's not because you are not pretty enough,curvy enough,cool enough or smart enough.

You have to understand that not everyone is meant to recognize your worth . Not every eyes will see that irresistible beauty in you.The same way an illiterate would sell a diamond for a price of a cheap shiny stone simply because he does not see the difference between them and does not know the real worth of the diamond.

Not everyone is meant for you.

The man that will recognize your shine,appreciate your worth and love you for who you are will make you understand how effortlessly things suppose to be like.
You truly have nothing to prove and once you understand that you will gain your powers back and become way more relaxed which will help the true you come out.

And that is what makes a woman irresistible-her true,raw nature and her ability to embrace it without a fear that someone will reject her or stop her shine.

You don't have to look or desperately search for the right one.
You have to take care of your self and work on becoming the best possible version of yourself.
Leave the rest to him.
A real man will,no doubt,find his Queen,
No matter where she is.

And he would never give you time to doubt or wander.
You will know and feel that you are HIS WOMAN.

DIVORCE MATTER: Fix it VS Run Away (Should I Stay Or Should I Go?)

Young,old,married or single: I always hear people complaining how marriages do not really last  nowadays. People get married today then they get divorced tomorrow and it's still a taboo,especially from where we are coming from where masses strongly believe that marriage is forever by all means.

I have a couple of friends that have been through this experience,however they mostly get judged for not being mature enough to handle marriage matter the way "they should" and when they point at reasons why they finally decided to go through an extremely stressful process of getting a divorce,this is what they normally get to hear: " Abeg,you knew about all this his features before you married him,so why are you divorcing now?Save your marriage jor". 

But people don't really know that different perspectives,emotions and expectations you have before you get married can make you overlook certain things and secondly we don't know what we can or cannot deal with in huge doses unless we feel it on our skin frequently .

In most of the societies I am familiar with ,there is a strong belief that woman is the one who's job is to keep the marriage. By that,we mostly expect a woman to learn how to stomach and tolerate everything she does not like or she does not agree with for the sake of avoiding drama and arguments. So when marriage falls apart it's normally a woman to be blamed because she was not "strong" or a woman enough to keep it all in place.

One of the reasons why rate of divorce has increased it surely because women got emancipated and more independent (financially) knowing that she does not really need to tolerate everything and anything because her husband is feeding her and her children. Ladies of nowadays are more aware of their rights and worth and I personally think it is absolutely ok not to settle for being mistreated.
But sometimes people also do divorce when they don't know how to find a right approach to the issues they have by focusing so much on it to the point everything positive and good about their relationship fades away and problem is all they see.

What people mostly do not know is that marriage is not a final destination,but a beginning of a whole new chapter that brings a million and one challenge we can't possibly be prepared for.  Leave them empty talks and lectures: No one is ever prepared for something they have never experienced before.We learn things as they come,mostly from our mistakes and that's the catch.

No marriage between two human beings was ever a smooth journey,whether we are crazily in love or we are in it for the sake of a personal interest,but that also does not mean you will call for a divorce after every single argument,right?

Honestly saying, tough times are not even a bad thing because passing through it is what builds a bond between partners and creates a deep strong connection and friendship between two people because no relationship grows within a comfort zone. Trust me.

But there is something you need to know,no matter what are you going through:

Things can be worked out only when there is an effort,compromise,understanding and tolerance that comes from both sides : it must be MUTUAL!

Secondly,I can not tell you what you should tolerate or not,because we all have a different understanding of what suppose to be "normal" or not so normal,but I can share my opinion of what I think LOVE IS NOT and help you do a calculation when it comes to your relationship and choices you are about to make: 

1. Why would your partner stop you from achieving your dreams and life goals? 

Most of the times,when woman is not allowed to focus on her career or use her potentials outside of the house,is because her partner is  insecure about himself and that  has nothing to do with love. Stopping someone from growth is nothing more but an act of selfishness. He is afraid you would over shine him,make him feel less of a man by becoming more successful then he is or get a chance to meet people (men) that might be out of his league.

2. Who has a right to disrespects you and make you feel bad ?

The person you are with should encourage you,motivate you and make you feel like the most special human being in the world not to destroy your self confidence or make you feel useless by always rubbing your flaws in your face. Again,this is also an act of insecurity : some people have a need to constantly bring their partners down so they can feel better in their skin because they suffer from a self esteem issues.

3. Physical  or mental abuse :

How can this ever be an act of love? Love is really not wicked! And how can anyone come and tell you to put your marriage first if your life might be in danger? This normally goes with a pathological jealousy and deep trust issues the other person might have which also means a terrible mental torture. However,no one deserves to be a punching bag. You are a human being amazing enough to be loved and be treated with care and respect.Your partner should make you feel safe not terrified and traumatized. PERIOD!

4. Do you get cheated and lied on?
 Well I know that so many of you actually made a peace with infidelity by convincing yourselves that it's something normal and expected  ("All men cheat" etc),but I still must say a word:
Can an average man accept the same "philosophy" when it comes to their woman?Ever?Do not forget,women also cheat as same as men do just in a different,less obvious ways.
But that is not the matter. If  his actions and behavior does not hurt you or make you feel bad and if you feel like you can actually live with it,then it's ALL GOOD AND FINE,but if NOT,you don't have to settle for it while shouting "Every man does it" around so you can console your heart.
I think that this issue is deeper because I don't think partnership and friendship  between two people can exist if there is no honesty and trust.That would make things so stressful and personally  I won't be able of dealing with it.

However,
Good relationships between people do not grow on trees for sure,we build them through ups and downs by focusing on goodness and love.

But also,I do not think you must stay in marriage by all means ,especially when it becomes a source of frustration and pain. That is not a purpose of a union between two people. You are not a victim. And you are in charge over your life.

At the end of the day,there is no such thing as a bad decision as long as we live according to it.

Different Religious Beliefs And Marriage

When I was choosing my life partner,honestly,I never thought or gave importance to any of categories most of people find so important ,such as skin color,ethnicity or religion. I believe that these are superficial ways to label people and that we are much more then these categories we belong to.
I strongly believe that what should make difference between people is wisdom,ambition,kind heart,passion,love and sense for humanity in general.

However,I am getting messages from you guys asking me if a good marriage between people of different religious beliefs is possible and I as well have a couple of friends that were "cought" in between love and religion and I know how they struggled to understand what exacty is a right choice.

I can only talk from my perspective and I also do understand the whole concept of religion in my own way.

First of all I believe in God. And God is Love. Period.
And Love is the foundation of every religion on planet Earth.
I simply cannot accept any teaching that is against Love between two fellow human beings. 

Secondly I believe in human race. How can a God use religion to divide human kind? 

Thirdly,I think that problem is in egocentric nature of human kind. We simply expect the rest of the world to believe in what we believe or to see the world through our eyes and tradition.And when they don't ,we see it as an issue,we take it personal and it becomes a source of conflicts.

But ,personally,my attitude towards differences is quite different..In fact differences are what makes this our planet earth such a beautiful place.
                                                  

I don't think any relationship can ever work,with or without interfaith matter ,if both partners are not flexible,tolerant and understanding. Wether is matter of religion or any other thing,no one likes to be forced into anything. That is not an act of love.You have to  respect your partner's beliefs even if you don't have plans of adopting them. He/She has to the same. And that IS an act of love. Acceptance.

When you step out of your comfort zone and decide to follow your heart and end up getting married to someone who is not from your cultural background in general,people around you will always have their opinion about it,regardlessly. I'm telling you from my very own experience. Family will not always believe in your choice.They won't always understand you or support you .But let me tell you the truth:

Most of the times reasons behind such attitude are superficial to the core.
I don't know about you,but I can not even think of considering an opinion that does not make any logical sense to me,even if it comes from my own mother because it's not her that is going to live with my regrets.

Another issue of interfaith relationships,people believe,is a challenge of raising kids .Even thou you feel like there is a drastic difference between religious teachings,I think that fundamental values are the same in each and every religion (if we forget idiotic stereotypes and misinterpretations) and I feel like every religion preaches Love,Forgiveness,Generosity,Faith,Gratitude;Humanity etc.Can you go wrong with teaching your kids all this norms and values?

There is no such thing as bad religion. (Does God even have a religion?).There are only bad people.
The same religious beliefs or culture is a far from a guarantee that your partner will treat you right and be able to wake up the most beautiful feelings in you.

I think you should always give Love a chance and try and suffocate sterotypes because they never do any good. If it's meant to be,you will conquer all the obstacles,because what was meant to be will always be.

As long as there is Love,Care and Tolerance,

We are all One.

Recover Your Relationship: Smart Ways To Avoid Arguments

I have a hot temper by nature and because of that I had serious difficulties to control myself and maintain a normal conversation or exchange of opinions especially when I get emotional or passionate.
At first I never thought this is something I should work on because I did not understand a power of a good communication. I did not know that it's not what you say ,but how you say it. I did not know that a quality of communication is one of the fundamental norms of a healthy relationships with the people around you.

My husband and I are pretty much alike,both very passionate and emotional. His temper is also hot and if I tell you we did not fight I would lie. Arguments can drain you and most of the time are pointless because I can't remember if we ever solved an issue hot headed.
At the end of the day,why to waste precious time you have with someone you love fighting?

So with time,I actually learnt importance of finding a right ways to express myself and experience helped us discover ways that will definitely help you too improve your communication skills and save your relationship from toxic fights and unnecessary arguments.
Once I started living according this facts,the relationship I have with my husband changed for good:

1) We are all different:
-No matter how alike we can be,we all do understand and feel the world around us in a different way. You might hurt or offend someone without even knowing and someone might cause you a pain without intention to make you feel bad. Don't take everything personal.

2) Speak your truth without a need to convince others in it:
-Your partner doesn't have to agree with everything you believe in and that's just ok. That doesn't make him wrong. Nether you are right. Or wrong. Love is acceptance: sometimes you just have to accept his/hers opinion without trying to change it.

3) You are not an enemies;
Anger and frustration can make a person blind,but..HELLO! It's the two of you against the world not against each order. You play for the same team and despite the misunderstanding y'all have,that is the person who loves and cares about you.

4)"I told you so"
And so what? Who doesn't make mistakes? When things go wrong that's the time for you to motivate him/her not to discourage him/her totally.  I'm sure your partner now understands that you had a point but common! You don't have to be annoying.

5) Listen to understand,not to reply.
We all do have ego and ego always wants to be right. And that is why ego makes you egocentric. Your argument is not a court case and no one wins. You should listen to understand where your partner is coming from not just because you can't wait to prove him wrong

6) Ask without accusing .
Just remember how terrible you felt everytime you got accused for something you did not do. Nothing hurts more then when person you love does not trust you. Ask before you jump into conclusions. Also remember: Your doubts and allegations are most of the times product of your insecurities and fears

7) Make peace with Past
No matter what your partner did in the past,if you have forgiven him/her and accepted to move on,then stop bringing it in every other argument you guys have. It can only add oil to the fire and refocus your energy to a very destructive direction.

8) Don't curse,insult or raise your voice
Even though you might say things you don't mean,always know that words are sharper then knife: you'll might forget all the nasty things you said but your partner won't and he might secretly hold it against you .You have absolutely no right to disrespect another human being everytime your head gets hot,especially not a person you have chosen  to be your life partner .

9) Learn how to put yourself in your partner's shoes
Again,we are made to be egotistical creatures and we can truly understand only things we feel on our skin. But with love there must come ability to put yourself in ur partner's shoes so you can know where it pains and from there you would be able to understand his/hers behavior/actions/mood  better.

Being a Good Housewife Does Not Mean You Are A Good Wife

A Good Woman. What a definition of a good woman according to you?

What makes an Ideal Wife?

When you brag about a wife material matter you are like : She does all the house works.She cleans well. She dresses decently. She is quiet and she is very homely.Always in the kitchen.A good houswife indeed.
But does that automatically makes her a good wife?Is a good housewife the same as a good wife?

But if all these housewife skills are the  reason why a man predominantly decided to make you his wife,don't you think he could as well go and marry one proper maid? Nothing you can do that she can't.

I hear them saying :that is a way to take care of a man. Well.. 

Is it? In that case everyone else could do your job,isn't it? Then what makes you so irreplaceable in his life? 

Marriage is a partnership on a project called Life. It does not take a nuclear science for you to know how to scrub bathroom well,but not everyone can be a good partner. By partner I mean someone who always got your back. Someone who will always push you out of your comfort zone in order for you to grow. A wise woman with vision and with a  backup masterplan ideas.

Good partner will catch you when you fall,encourage you when you are down and believe in you when you don't even believe in yourself.When you have a magic in you to motivate him and feed  him with positive energy and enthusiasm. When you don't only  nag or point at his failures. When you don't rub his mistakes in his face with "I told you so". Instead of "what we gonna do now?" ,you got him with "I have a plan .." and  "I got an idea".

I truly believe that woman is a blessing to a man.A special woman can help you grow into a billionaire and still grant you a peace of mind.And s wise man do listen to his woman,they don't underestimate  or discredit her 

Good relationship is the one where you mutualy make each other better in every possible way. 

What does cooking or cleaning has to do with that?

I mean,if your woman can't cook you can  always hire a cook but who you gonna "hire" if she can't be your best friend and your partner in crime?

Again,I am talking from my life experience (clearly).
For example,you can't turn my husband on by being a passive housewife even thou he is a true African man who was brought up to think that it should be a norm.But it just does not impress him. The truth is,nothing can really move him like ambition, seeing his woman all vibrant,positive,thinking and acting like a goal getter.

But again I know,there are men who's ego just does not agree with an idea of having a woman who can equally participate in any other segment of their lives other then  matters considering kitchen or bedroom. Anything more then that would make them feel like a less of a man.Such guys have a need to feel dominant and superior in every possible way over their women and opinionated women make them feel super intimidated.If you can handle such,go for it,but eheemm no be my portion.

But  HEY!Please do not get me wrong. I don't think that woman should take ovet man's role,nether I find it attractive. I still like my man to be a man and me to feel like his woman . I just think that this whole "wife material=housewife" thing is way too overrated and cleaning and cooking skills is not what    determines a woman's worth and value.

But listen,a man that has my heart and makes me feel like the most important person in the world surely must have the best of me. If you make me feel like a Queen ,through thick and thin,you deserve to be treated like a King everyday of your life.

I can do anything for my guy. And there is nothing I can't do and whatever I decide to do I do it  the best (yes I do), just that the difference is I won't do it because I feel like I am under an obligation to prove that I am a "correct" woman or out of fear that someone would say that I am not,but because I want to see a smile on his face. We are comming from different parts the world so you can imagine that joy he feels when he comes home and there is egusi soup waiting. The whole magic of love is in doing things out of our way with a smile on our faces to make our loved ones happy (when mutual of course).

But what makes me irreplaceable in my husband's life is not my kitchen skills.It's the fact his life changed from the moment we started our journey together.It marked a beginning of a whole another,brand NEW chapter of his life (and mine too).
He started growing and prospering. His life,career,spiritual and financial growth..everything went from 0 to 100.

No other woman ever had such an impact on his life and that is why I am his wife,not because I dress like a nun,sit in the house all day or pound yam until I faint.

Thanks for all the shares and comments,

Love you guys

xx

Why Are Cheaters The Most Possessive And Jealous Partners

What an irony huh?
Do you know what is the other name for extremely nice and kind people ? Naive.
There is a reason why we refer to super good people as naive: because they don't see evilness ,malice etc - they don't recognize it simply because they don't give it out and it does not exist in them.
We subconsciously see in others what lives in us. That's why the best way to judge someone is by the way he talks and thinks about others.

So that's how I noticed that the most possessive and jealous partners are ironically unfaithful ones.
Of course they know what they do and they secretly do expect the same behavior from others.
Such men lock their women in the house,they don't let them have friends,hang out or go out,they are forbidden to dress up and look sexy.
Women are not any better. I remember,before I met my husband,no man was ever able to keep my attention for too long. I was never really faithful in my past relationships so I know how possessive I used to be. You suspect every stupid little thing,you don't want person you are with to have a life at all and you feel like you must supervise everything in person's life because you know very well what you do.

Cheaters as well have trust issues because lies are not unfamiliar to them.


Well,I if you think you can handle it....

Xx

Am I Afraid Of Bad Intentions/Curse/Juju?

I remember how they used to warn me not to talk about my life or share my happiness on social media,because "people are jealous " and it's not good for them to know what brings joy into my life because they can "curse me".

Honestly,even where am coming from,we have an old belief that "evil eye" do exist and it's normally pointed at something nice,beautiful and admirable.

Here in Africa a lot of  people do believe in a power of bad intention,also juju (voodoo) AKA black magic jealous and envious people use to harm others and I will never forget how my Nigerian family members used to call me to beg me to be careful that "private life is a happy life" because others won't have a chance to use my "happiness" against me.

People in Nigeria (Africa in general) talk about this matter with so much fear so I had to give it a thought.

But let me tell you what I think:
We give life  to everything we believe in.
And, there is one thing about me,everything I believe in and every life philosophy I follow must CONTRIBUTE and ADD positively into my life and my state of mind that is oriented to prosperity,abundance and progress. I don't just get influenced with beliefs anyhow.

So I did a simple calculation: If I adapt this belief,what do I get? If I accept it it and really start living according to it ,what would my life turn to? I would never be free,my mind would turn into my own prison and fear and doubt would take over my being.

Also,what you focus on grows EVERY SINGLE DAY in EVERY SINGLE WAY. I can't imagine the struggle of people that believe in a power of an evil intention/juju/voodoo/curse.

First of all,how TERRIBLE is an idea that another human being(s),a fellow mortals,have a power to determine and affect your life ? How is that even possible? Who is that big?

Secondly,whatever you believe in appears in everything and everywhere around you. I'm sure that such people see a cause of someone's bad intention or curse against them in every single thing that is happening in their lives. That's how you start feeling helpless and unfortunate. The best combination for a very terrible and miserable living.

So make sure your beliefs serve you the best before you adopt them. Let's say-if you don't believe in God ,you can never ever testify His miracles. If you believe,you would see them every single day. It's the same with good or bad luck,or power of evil intention,curse,voodoo.

Do you know what's my motto? Even when I'm passing through very tough paths and due very challenging life times,I believe I am LOVED and FORTUNATE and  that difficult moments are just a bumby ride to my blessings. A tough shortcut that will bring me to something very amazing. If I loose something I believe it's for something better to come.I always repeat,it's not the situation but your attitude towards the situation that will make you win or loose.

Evilness and hatred  does not have power over you if you don't feed it with your attention,energy and fears.

Let Me Tell You Who Writes Bad Comments Under My IG Pictures

First of all,as you know me very well by know you know I like to ignore negativitiy. In fact,I love to ignore it because something you do not acknowledge does not exist. Sometimes,just sometimes,when I see a whole another level of stupidity,I'm tempted to let my sarcastic side enjoy small because some things are just hilarious and I simply can not resist them. LOL

However,I always feel like the biggest curse of human kind the fact that we always focus on negative things and never embrace positive ones enough.

So ,talking on this matter,comparing to all the love and support I get from you guys,nasty comments are almost irrelevant,and if you follow me on social media you know I would always rather reply to a loving and kind comment then to entertain a fool.

Secondly,in my entire life,I never EVER had anyone writing a negative or insultive comments from a real page.

I seriously got to the conclusion that people who hide under fake pages to write rubbish are actually not many: only few different individuals that are continuously making fake pages (at least in my case) each and every time they get blocked. It is obvious because the vocabulary and content is pretty much the same.

I told my husband once that we would laugh if we could see through these fake accounts because I'm sure we would see people we actually know : mostly people from our past that are desperately refusing to move on and they can not come cope,maybe also some "current" friends aka frenemies  that have allergy once they see good news and I think that the smallest precent of such people are ones that we actually do not that for some reason get upset and angry with our expressions on social media.

Honestly,back in the days this cyber bullying used to upset me and I used to take it personal  because it was all new to me but now I do understand better.

If the same thing is happening to you,don't let it get to you or ruin your mood  because you actually have one crazy ass fan that can't get you out of his/her head. Congratulations,that means you are on a good track ;)

I personally love to block them. Hehe

Why?

Because I am mean and evil (at time) and I know how much stress they have to go through to open another account which can also get blocked in less then a second. (*evil laugh*)

Again,please,don't let this things get to you. After all,it's just a virtual world.

Ok guys,lets still be kind,lets pray for all the ex girlfriends,ex friends,neighbours,inlaws,family members,baby mamas and their loyal friends and partners in crime to get one better life and wisom to start using their free time in more productive manners. 

Love is all we need.

Bless you 

XX