Guide For A Modern Pregnant Woman: How To Stay Sexy,Look Amazing And Feel Good

We all agree: there is nothing as miraculous and powerful as woman caring a new life in her womb for whole 9 months.
What a blessing!

But truth for the matter,pregnancy as well freaks us out. Like seriously.

Let me start with myself: when I found out I was expecting a child,I almost fainted even thought we saw it coming. I started panicking. Crying. I was scared to death.
How will this affect my life? My mind and body? Will the Sonia I know be gone forever?  Will pregnancy make me ugly? Unhappy? Depressed? Unattractive? Will it be very awkward,painful and uncomfortable?
What can I expect?

I can still remember the emotional roller coaster I have passed through.

And I can bet,I am not alone.

So,my ladies,my intention with this post is to share some tips that helped me take the best out of this miraculous 9 months and rock the pregnancy like a fancy,unique million dollar accessories.

1) DOLL UP HON!

- I know you would feel lazy,moody and tired,and that is all normal,but don't allow yourself to sink into it! 

Even before I got pregnant,I used to admire dolled up pregnant ladies. Like,there is nothing more beautiful than a vibrant preggy hottie /slayer with belly.  When I was pregnant,every single time I felt down,I would force myself to get up,do my hair,do some lovely make up,pick a cute sexy outfit and go to mall. Or super market. Or just take a walk. It worked like a therapy for me.  Pregnancy doesn't mean you must stay in pajamas,baggy,unattractive clothes and messy bun on top of your head while moving from couch to bed. 

Don't you stop slaying love!

Love this pic,I was about 6 months pregnant here 

2) EAT RIGHT !

Heavy,oily food makes even a non pregnant person lazy,sleepy and tired. You should try and eat regularly but healthy mostly for the sake of your baby but also for the sake of your mood . Trust me,what we eat has a lot to do with how we feel.
Forget that "eat for 2" nonsense. Increase intake of vitamins ,proteins and water,and not chips,pounded yam,Fanta,chocolate and fried chicken. And let's keep it real: pregnancy doesn't mean you  need that 2am meal. At all.
Staying fit REALLY means staying happy. And yes,your postpartum body will be thankful;) 

3) STAY ACTIVE!

-I repeat: I know you feel lazy and tired. But as long as you have a normal,healthy pregnancy there is absolutely  no reason for you to lay in bed all day as if you are,God forbid,sick.
Pregnancy is not disability.
I remember,I used to go out ,even clubbing with my husband while pregnant and I had so much fun (turning up with bottles of water for the first time of my life lol). It was a different kind of unforgettable experience for me.
However,stay social. Hang out with people that make you happy. Laugh. Have FUN! Yes,being pregnant does not mean you should be restricted from having fun and enjoying yourself (as long as you stay away from heavy drinks,smokes and drugs of course).
Hey ,it's still the same old you with some extra blessing in your sexy belly.
Stay physically active as well. I mean,you don't have to go to gym and lift weights but you can have a 20 min walk every day. It will mean a lot for your mental and physical health. And that sexy body of yours. 

4) THINK POSITIVELY 

- Stop thinking and talking about potential risks pregnancy can bring. Common. Don't let fears spoil this special experience for you. Rather focus ,think and talk about all the beautiful things caring a new life brings. Your bigger boobs for example. LOL 

Surround yourself with positive minds,people who inspire you and give you hope ,whether in real life or social media. Breathe and absorb positivity only. 

Suffocate fears and panic with gratitude. You have so much to be thankful and excited for.
You are truly blessed. 

5)SHOW YOURSELF SOME LOVE
-If you can not afford spa treatments and wellness centers ,that does not mean you can not enjoy. You can still pamper yourself at home. Few times a week make sure you give yourself an hour of "me time". Play your favorite music,run a bubble bath,read a good book,put a mask on your face,make sure you smell and feel finer then the finest rose.

6) YES, YOU ARE STILL SEXY BOO

- And you will stay irresistible for a very long time. Pregnancy is a piece of cake for you,miraculous woman!

7)DO IT FOR YOURSELF FIRST 

-Make sure you keep yourself fly for yourself first. Do not do it because you want to earn an approval or a compliment from your man or any other person. This "effort" is about you alone this time around. You deserve to feel good about yourself,pregnant or not.

Diary of a Lagosian : When You Get Intimidated By BIG GIRLS,FAKE ACCENTS & "I JUST CAME FROM ABROAD" STORY TELLERS

I feel like people are under serious pressure and constant competition between themselves.
Pressure to make their friends envious,to appear "richer", more "sophisticated","bigger" or "fancier" and,fam, it really turns out to be ridiculous at times.

"Packaging" is that how you guys call it?
LOL

Well,"packaging" comes in all different shapes,shades and forms,and I could not help it but to make a list of most common ones , I CAN BET,you are already familiar with:

FAKE ACCENT ALERT 

Do you have an idea how many times I have heard ladies and gentlemen mocking people that don't sound "British" or "American" enough?You guys! Common! Is it by force? "OMG ,is it only me or she sounds so local?" . "What a bush girl,no class". (*rolling eyes *)

Talking of myself,do you know how many people told me I should "work on my accent" ("Why don't you try and speak "AMERICAN"(whatever that suppose to mean) it would suit you better"). 

"The way you talk doesn't match your physics".

"Fine girl like you hmmm"

WHAAAT?

I am even proud that I can communicate in English. It's not my language by any means.

I am not British,nor American and I never lived in English speaking country before. And let's be real: Nether are you. And that's just fine. 

God gave me a beautiful gift,I pick languages really fast and if I really wanted to change my accent I would,but I don't really wish to. Why would I?

Be you. Embrace your own. Why do you think someone else's is better?

Truth to be told,some people naturally "absorb" accent after living abroad (even if it's for a short period of time) and that's absolutely normal and ok,but it's very wrong to look down at people for sounding "local" (as you say).
There is a heritage behind that "African" sounding accent ,you know?

Also,it's a shame that so many people forget where we live and that not everyone was able to afford to go to school and learn "proper English". It's really not a mocking matter.

There is also nothing wrong with slangs and broken English.
I know people,especially ladies,who constantly act like they can't speak or understand pidgin,thinking that they will appear "posh" that way.
I find it silly.
You don't see all these foreigners falling in love with it and embracing it even though they never lived in Nigeria for a day?

I find it super charming and cute. 

And most importantly, it's authentically yours.
Who english epp? :)

I AM FROM AMERICA 

So we met at the party. Casual conversation. 

-So where you from ? (referring to a state of origin)

-I am from Washington DC.(proudly,with exaggerated  American accent)

Bruh. For real???

We met in LasGidi. Naija bruh. And you are telling me you are from Washington. Big boy ,what a way to let me know that you are NOT one of them "local" boys,abi?

I get secretly annoyed when I feel like people are ashamed of something I believe they should be super proud of. 

You have a privilege to be familiar with where you are coming from,your tradition,native language. Culture.You know where your grate grand father village is. You know yourself.

Honestly,I think average American wish he had all that. Don't take it for granted. Embrace your heritage.
If I hear Yankee again!

Which Washington Ugochuckwu? 

Grrrrhhmm

I ONLY SHOP ABROAD 

No,you don't. I saw you at Balogun market last week. Hehe

But for real. Stop.
Buy Made in Nigeria,it's  way more cool to support your own! ;-)
I mean ,I understand you like to shop in that massive Dubai mall and yes,malls abroad offer some things we can't find in Nigeria, but "I ONLY SHOP ABROAD" is not an achievement for you to be mentioning it out loud everywhere you go.

First time I came to Nigeria (it was really long time ago) I was invited to attend a big wedding and I needed an outfit badly. However,I wasn't familiar with Lagos at that time so I was thinking it's better to ask someone where can I find nice dresses. So,there was this "big girl" sitting with us so I approached her ,asking where would she direct me to. You guys! Wish you saw girl's face expression. She was openly and very clearly disgusted. "Honey,girls like us don't shop in Nigeria. Ever. We shop strictly abroad " (need I mention strong British accent?lol). I didn't understand what was the whole thing about,I was kind of confused.

However guys. Don't get it twisted,where you "shop"is not a matter of wealth or status.
I know very rich and successful folks who shop in local markets and some of them are very proud of it.
Honestly and very personally,I really enjoy Lagos markets,it feels like an adventure for me. I understand,some people find it extremely stressful,that's ok but there is no need to act and sound  snobbish. Trust me,it's not bringing your value any higher. NAH!

YOUR SKIN IS SO YELLOW,YOU LOOK SO CLEAN AND FRESH.

Wait a minute.

So dark skin doesn't look "clean"? 

I get angry when I hear such comments. Not everything "lightskin" means "beautiful,clean and fresh". Beauty comes in all different shades.
Again,don't think I'm throwing shades on women that bleach their skin,I can never do such because as a female  that I am I am pretty much aware that there is a thing every woman on planet earth (whether she is black,white,asian,mixed etc) has in common, which is : we all want what we don't have,especially when it comes to physical appearance. And we are never satisfied.White girls want to tan,black girls bleach,girls with curly hair want straight hair and girls like me by all means try to get their hair curled...etc... That's just the way we all are.There is nothing personal about it.

However,it's upsetting me that it became a norm to refer to lighter skin as "fresher" or "more beautiful" which,in my opinion,really isn't the case. 

THIS THING LOOKS SO LOCAL! 
I still don't get why so many people refer to LOCAL as if it's something bad or something we should be ashamed of.
Like "local" is opposite of expensive or fancy. Or maybe LOCAL should be for less privileged?
I don't get.
I don't want my son and my future children to grow up thinking that their very own "local" is something they should not be proud of.
Because every single "local" thing about Nigeria is amazing.
Food
Fabrics
Jewelry
Outfits
Music
Nature
People

Priceless.Think about it.

Now don't get me wrong.

There is also nothing wrong with learning from other cultures and adopting different ways that might not be familiar to our own.
I  am a product of different cultures I came across for my life time so far and I think we grow when we  "open" ourselves to differences and unknown instead rejecting it before we even give ourselves a chance to get to know it.

I did not point at this things to mock anyone. Y'all know, that is not my style.

I did it to try and set some of you free of that ridiculous pressure this crazy society puts us through and to remind you that the way you speak English or where you shop is not what defines you,your skills,talents and abilities and that your true beauty and power comes out when you embrace yourself  for who you truly are instead of trying to be something or someone you are not,because what you embrace can never be used against you.

Don't let your "role models" make you feel intimidated because you are not "all that".
You are way more then "all that".

Trust your girl.
You ROCK

XX

"Wait,is she getting married to a NIGERIAN?" -My Parents VS Nigerian Husband (The Truth Behind The Closed Doors)

You won't believe how many people (Nigerians and non Nigerians) have asked me "Lord Jesus Sonia,what was your parents reaction when you told them you are getting married to a Nigerian?"

Wait. "A NIGERIAN???" .
I swear,some folks sound like I went to marry an alien or something strange to a human kind. SMH

You guys know I live in a world of mine where I don't really give a sh** about race,ethnicity,tribe,religion or what so ever superficial categorization of human beings  the whole world seem to stress over, so the way some people  put importance and tension into asking this type of questions really did not make much sense to me.  Like someone's ethnicity is the most important and relevant "issue" you need to worry about when your child is getting married or what?

Since when is that more important then someone's heart and intentions? Personality? Love maybe? Compatibility between two souls? Hello? Some people sef.

I will have to disappoint you fam,there was no controversy or what so ever drama based on this particular matter when it comes to my own case.
I think ethnicity,color or nationality was not a criteria my parents  used to "judge" Ik's values and qualities as a man and a person.
There were clearly far more important features  that makes a man "good" or "bad" for your daughter.

I am endlessly grateful to my parents for "sparing" me of this type of drama a lot of mixed couples go through,but I honestly think that their attitude towards the whole situation was nothing but NORMAL,because any form of stereotype,prejudice or hatred based on color,religion,ethnicity etc doesn't just fit in my definition of  "normal" thinking.

But I can't lie,both mom and dad had experiences with stupid people here and there asking stupid questions based on this matter. So once a woman asked my mom (with a tone like she is giving her a condolence or something) how is she "managing"  and living with a ("terribly upsetting and sad") fact that I got married to an African..Meanwhile her daughter's husband is  the same ethnicity,color and religion as she is but that did not stop him from being a wife beater,cheat and alcoholic. What a moment of irony. Hmmm hmmm.  My mom just told her "if your son in law was at least as half as good as mine,you would be a happy woman and you would not have to worry about my own " .
My mom is an MVP. Lol

When Ik came to meet them they both fall in love with him . It is really difficult not to because he is really and honestly one of the nicest people I have ever came across.
My mom even got to a "brilliant" idea :  "Sonia you know what? Why don't you go back to Nigeria,leave Ik here with us,he is so polite and kind" . (Oh so I am not? Can you guys imagine? Me,Sonia,the only daughter they will ever have! Obara Jesu lol)

For better understanding of a relationship between my parents and my "Nigerian" husband I must share this picture with you:

Yes,this is a picture(very big and massive pictures)  I found hanging at the wall at my parents house when I came back to visit them this year.  Right in a living room. Yep.

Meanwhile ,did I mention that there is NO ONE SINGLE picture of me framed ANYWHERE in their home.  Ehemm.

I am still waiting for an explanation :-)
Will update you when I get one for sure .

Love you plenty!
Xo

You Are In A Relationship With Him,But Is He In A Relationship With You As Well?

You really like this guy. You might actually be in love with him. Every time your phone rings you hope it's him. When he calls,you cancel every single plan of yours and you rush to see him. You are always available for him-you want him to see that you are serious and willing to commit. You put your whole life on stand by. But at times,you are not sure if he feels the same about you. Even though you tell everyone that he is your man,deep inside of you there is a big question and you feel silly to ask ,but you really want to know: "What exactly are we?"
Your heart is simply not in peace and wonders are about to drive you crazy.When you call he does not always pick,you see him only when he wants to and his life seems like a mystery to you. You don't really know much about him. You guys are not as public as you wish. You normally meet for a couple of hours,maybe once a week (not as often as you would like) and the quality of the time you spend together is... Hmm...well it's normally about sex.. But yeah,you have fun together,you as well met couple of his friends,maybe hit a club several times and stuff..but..
There is just something that brings doubt into your heart and it does not want to let you be.

Every girl on planet earth was in this situation ,I can bet.

How to know if guy takes you seriously?

Let me keep it real with you fam...If you have to wander about the nature of your relationship with a man and his intentions towards you,well,most of the times that is a first sign that he is not really up to a serious relationship with you.

The truth of this life is : When man wants a woman,he will make it very clear to her.Crystal clear. There won't be space left for guessing and headaches.

Guys don't always tell you ,but they definitely always show you what type of a relationship they want with you.
-Is he always busy?
-Does he call ?
-How often does he text to let you know that you are in his mind?
-Does he check up on you and your well being?
-Can you talk to him openly about your life and your personal challenges?
-Are you free around him to be who you are or you are always afraid that you'll might do something that will turn him off?
-Can you call in the middle of the night or count on him if you need help?

Do your maths baby girl.

Maybe he needs more time?

A woman that does not want to consider a "move on" option always choose to wander if her guy maybe needs more time to understand how awesome she actually is.

My dear,there is no such thing as "I am not ready" when it comes to a woman a man truly wants. He would make himself ready if needed.
Most of the times guys give that kind of speech when he wants to set limits and clearly let you know that "relationship" between you two is something casual and commitment free in a polite way so he can still have the access to the goodies jar.

Most common stories you will get served are mostly about how he is not where where he wants to be financially,or due family issues he  simply "can't focus" on having a serious relationship at the moment or how he had a terrible past experience with his ex he did not recover from (Familiar? Lol) .

So basically (let's be fair),most of the times guys actually make it  all very clear to us .
But there is something in us women that makes us see what we want to see. All of the sudden,you feel like you are the one that needs to "save",cure and "fix" him up so you decide to turn into a"ride or die" for someone who does not even want to ride with you not even to the nearest corner.

So what normally happens next: after you tried so hard to appear and seem like everything you think he likes,so carefully tried to be his ideal kind of a woman and all he could possibly wish for and more,after months of forcing so hard on something supported by nothing but a fake hope and illusion you created all by yourself,you end up alone,hurt and angry,blaming the whole mankind for being "all the same".

My dear sister,
Your role in man's life is not to "catch" him.
You don't have to starve so desperately to impress a man hoping that he will (finally) acknowledge you as his woman.
You are not there to wander is someone out there is going to take you seriously or not.

You can stay home on weekends,call as you like,text like crazy,stop hanging out,stop talking to other guys and try your best to seem like his Miss Perfect,but more you try to become someone you are not in order to be liked,more you will loose your own "flavor" and that your own very special personal energy and charm.

No,it's not because you are not pretty enough,curvy enough,cool enough or smart enough.

You have to understand that not everyone is meant to recognize your worth . Not every eyes will see that irresistible beauty in you.The same way an illiterate would sell a diamond for a price of a cheap shiny stone simply because he does not see the difference between them and does not know the real worth of the diamond.

Not everyone is meant for you.

The man that will recognize your shine,appreciate your worth and love you for who you are will make you understand how effortlessly things suppose to be like.
You truly have nothing to prove and once you understand that you will gain your powers back and become way more relaxed which will help the true you come out.

And that is what makes a woman irresistible-her true,raw nature and her ability to embrace it without a fear that someone will reject her or stop her shine.

You don't have to look or desperately search for the right one.
You have to take care of your self and work on becoming the best possible version of yourself.
Leave the rest to him.
A real man will,no doubt,find his Queen,
No matter where she is.

And he would never give you time to doubt or wander.
You will know and feel that you are HIS WOMAN.

DIVORCE MATTER: Fix it VS Run Away (Should I Stay Or Should I Go?)

Young,old,married or single: I always hear people complaining how marriages do not really last  nowadays. People get married today then they get divorced tomorrow and it's still a taboo,especially from where we are coming from where masses strongly believe that marriage is forever by all means.

I have a couple of friends that have been through this experience,however they mostly get judged for not being mature enough to handle marriage matter the way "they should" and when they point at reasons why they finally decided to go through an extremely stressful process of getting a divorce,this is what they normally get to hear: " Abeg,you knew about all this his features before you married him,so why are you divorcing now?Save your marriage jor". 

But people don't really know that different perspectives,emotions and expectations you have before you get married can make you overlook certain things and secondly we don't know what we can or cannot deal with in huge doses unless we feel it on our skin frequently .

In most of the societies I am familiar with ,there is a strong belief that woman is the one who's job is to keep the marriage. By that,we mostly expect a woman to learn how to stomach and tolerate everything she does not like or she does not agree with for the sake of avoiding drama and arguments. So when marriage falls apart it's normally a woman to be blamed because she was not "strong" or a woman enough to keep it all in place.

One of the reasons why rate of divorce has increased it surely because women got emancipated and more independent (financially) knowing that she does not really need to tolerate everything and anything because her husband is feeding her and her children. Ladies of nowadays are more aware of their rights and worth and I personally think it is absolutely ok not to settle for being mistreated.
But sometimes people also do divorce when they don't know how to find a right approach to the issues they have by focusing so much on it to the point everything positive and good about their relationship fades away and problem is all they see.

What people mostly do not know is that marriage is not a final destination,but a beginning of a whole new chapter that brings a million and one challenge we can't possibly be prepared for.  Leave them empty talks and lectures: No one is ever prepared for something they have never experienced before.We learn things as they come,mostly from our mistakes and that's the catch.

No marriage between two human beings was ever a smooth journey,whether we are crazily in love or we are in it for the sake of a personal interest,but that also does not mean you will call for a divorce after every single argument,right?

Honestly saying, tough times are not even a bad thing because passing through it is what builds a bond between partners and creates a deep strong connection and friendship between two people because no relationship grows within a comfort zone. Trust me.

But there is something you need to know,no matter what are you going through:

Things can be worked out only when there is an effort,compromise,understanding and tolerance that comes from both sides : it must be MUTUAL!

Secondly,I can not tell you what you should tolerate or not,because we all have a different understanding of what suppose to be "normal" or not so normal,but I can share my opinion of what I think LOVE IS NOT and help you do a calculation when it comes to your relationship and choices you are about to make: 

1. Why would your partner stop you from achieving your dreams and life goals? 

Most of the times,when woman is not allowed to focus on her career or use her potentials outside of the house,is because her partner is  insecure about himself and that  has nothing to do with love. Stopping someone from growth is nothing more but an act of selfishness. He is afraid you would over shine him,make him feel less of a man by becoming more successful then he is or get a chance to meet people (men) that might be out of his league.

2. Who has a right to disrespects you and make you feel bad ?

The person you are with should encourage you,motivate you and make you feel like the most special human being in the world not to destroy your self confidence or make you feel useless by always rubbing your flaws in your face. Again,this is also an act of insecurity : some people have a need to constantly bring their partners down so they can feel better in their skin because they suffer from a self esteem issues.

3. Physical  or mental abuse :

How can this ever be an act of love? Love is really not wicked! And how can anyone come and tell you to put your marriage first if your life might be in danger? This normally goes with a pathological jealousy and deep trust issues the other person might have which also means a terrible mental torture. However,no one deserves to be a punching bag. You are a human being amazing enough to be loved and be treated with care and respect.Your partner should make you feel safe not terrified and traumatized. PERIOD!

4. Do you get cheated and lied on?
 Well I know that so many of you actually made a peace with infidelity by convincing yourselves that it's something normal and expected  ("All men cheat" etc),but I still must say a word:
Can an average man accept the same "philosophy" when it comes to their woman?Ever?Do not forget,women also cheat as same as men do just in a different,less obvious ways.
But that is not the matter. If  his actions and behavior does not hurt you or make you feel bad and if you feel like you can actually live with it,then it's ALL GOOD AND FINE,but if NOT,you don't have to settle for it while shouting "Every man does it" around so you can console your heart.
I think that this issue is deeper because I don't think partnership and friendship  between two people can exist if there is no honesty and trust.That would make things so stressful and personally  I won't be able of dealing with it.

However,
Good relationships between people do not grow on trees for sure,we build them through ups and downs by focusing on goodness and love.

But also,I do not think you must stay in marriage by all means ,especially when it becomes a source of frustration and pain. That is not a purpose of a union between two people. You are not a victim. And you are in charge over your life.

At the end of the day,there is no such thing as a bad decision as long as we live according to it.

Am I Afraid Of Bad Intentions/Curse/Juju?

I remember how they used to warn me not to talk about my life or share my happiness on social media,because "people are jealous " and it's not good for them to know what brings joy into my life because they can "curse me".

Honestly,even where am coming from,we have an old belief that "evil eye" do exist and it's normally pointed at something nice,beautiful and admirable.

Here in Africa a lot of  people do believe in a power of bad intention,also juju (voodoo) AKA black magic jealous and envious people use to harm others and I will never forget how my Nigerian family members used to call me to beg me to be careful that "private life is a happy life" because others won't have a chance to use my "happiness" against me.

People in Nigeria (Africa in general) talk about this matter with so much fear so I had to give it a thought.

But let me tell you what I think:
We give life  to everything we believe in.
And, there is one thing about me,everything I believe in and every life philosophy I follow must CONTRIBUTE and ADD positively into my life and my state of mind that is oriented to prosperity,abundance and progress. I don't just get influenced with beliefs anyhow.

So I did a simple calculation: If I adapt this belief,what do I get? If I accept it it and really start living according to it ,what would my life turn to? I would never be free,my mind would turn into my own prison and fear and doubt would take over my being.

Also,what you focus on grows EVERY SINGLE DAY in EVERY SINGLE WAY. I can't imagine the struggle of people that believe in a power of an evil intention/juju/voodoo/curse.

First of all,how TERRIBLE is an idea that another human being(s),a fellow mortals,have a power to determine and affect your life ? How is that even possible? Who is that big?

Secondly,whatever you believe in appears in everything and everywhere around you. I'm sure that such people see a cause of someone's bad intention or curse against them in every single thing that is happening in their lives. That's how you start feeling helpless and unfortunate. The best combination for a very terrible and miserable living.

So make sure your beliefs serve you the best before you adopt them. Let's say-if you don't believe in God ,you can never ever testify His miracles. If you believe,you would see them every single day. It's the same with good or bad luck,or power of evil intention,curse,voodoo.

Do you know what's my motto? Even when I'm passing through very tough paths and due very challenging life times,I believe I am LOVED and FORTUNATE and  that difficult moments are just a bumby ride to my blessings. A tough shortcut that will bring me to something very amazing. If I loose something I believe it's for something better to come.I always repeat,it's not the situation but your attitude towards the situation that will make you win or loose.

Evilness and hatred  does not have power over you if you don't feed it with your attention,energy and fears.

Naija Big Girls,Pimps,Runs Girls & Sonia

This is a story I must share with y'all since you have been so faithful with your views,comments,love and support. I think y'all deserve juicy something after all.

So,my husband,Ik,found me on social media  The first moment he saw my pictures he told people that were around him at that moment "Y'all look at this girl,I just saw my wife ".
He was on set shooting a movie and the whole crew laughed at him.
"Ik,even if this kind of a girl fly all the way from wherever she is coming from to see you,after 5 days she would leave you for one billionaire,politician or oil mogul like that,receive sense please ".

He just smiled,.
So that is my Ik. Without any big money in his account at that time,without a powerful family name,he did not doubt his vision,not for a second. "That girl is my wife". Period. His confidence is just a material for a whole another story.

However,I came to Lagos (after only 3 weeks of us chatting day and night,well my madness is also a story for another day lol).We started our relationship,in fact to be very honest,we started living together,immediately. I did not consider myself a "wife material" in any possible way,nether I was dying to get married, so I always used to ask him why is he so sure that I will become his wife. He said "you already are my wife. A man simply knows,he feels it in his heart".

Hmmmm. Okkkkk ohhh (well I am now hehe).
However,as you guys know,we started showing up publicly everywhere together,I met (literally) all the "it" Lagos people and surely a lot of "big Lagos girls" since he knew most of them for years.
Duhh,I like to see fine girls,For real.Lagos babes carried me away. Always dressed up,dolled up,fine!
But hmmm.. as we were all hanging out,for some reason ladies used to ask for my number,which would be very ok if it was not behind Ik's back. Like why would you not want my man to know that you,his sister and friend,want to get my number?
Lol
The offers I used to get. You guys!

"My boss would like to meet you"
"Someone wants to see you,person is big,Google him,he can change your life"
"Darling don't be stupid,don't waste your beauty"
"It's ok that you have your boo,but you need someone to maintain your beauty"
"20 000$?"
"He wants to fly you to Dubai to get to know you"
"Be wise"
"Ik does not need to know"

What .. Wait.. Whooow.. For real??
Nigeria and money. Damn.

Ok...If I say I judge them for their life choices and ways ,I would lie. Honestly,I don't understand  how and why would a man give someone all that money in exchange for a vagina,but you guys... that money men use to pay for ladies in Nigeria is CRAZY!
Are young girls tempted? Of course they are. It is not easy beeing a beautiful girl in Nigeria ,especially if you was not born with a silver spoon. Even I felt some type of way when  I heard numbers these ladies were calling. Like things an average human being would have to work for his entire life someone can just come and give you in a week. Let's be realistic: would you not give it a thought?

However .
What did I do?
Tempted or not,it was too late.I already got attached to this young man that has so much kindness,care,love and wisdom in himself. A brave young man who's confidence,honesty,faith and non judgmental attitude towards me and my whole life story made me fall in love. A man who started from zero without anyone's support or help,all by himself,with so much determination and passion to make something SUPER big out of his life. A man that was sure that I was his missing rib.


Secondly,I knew he had a bad experiences from  his past (most of the ladies he used to date used to have multiple sugar daddies/sponsors on the side,it was almost a norm).

I guess they did not see what I saw.

So....

I told Ik everything. Everytime they call or even ask for my number ,we already knew whats up.He never took actions of his female friends/colleagues personal. Same here,at this point,I don't think they are bad or evil people,I still like most of them in a way,what they tried to do is just a reflection of their own reality and lifestyle. I don't even think their intention was bad ,girls pray to meet such wealthy men everyday. I guess they just thought we could all (me and them) benefit out of it(PIMPING).

What was really important  to Ik was the fact that I was honest and transparent with him and I'm sure his heart smiled because it seemed like his intuition about me did not fail him.

But I was VERY surprised.
With myself. Something was so unusual and different.
In my whole life,I was never completely honest or faithful to any man. Ever.Ever. This is not even a matter of a morals (I did not have much of it to be very honest) .  I saw my blessing.

That was a sign big enough .
Nothing really mattered more then one man's heart and no money would be able to buy me that.

Finally,with all the confidence in my heart,for the first time I knew : I have found the One.