While growing up seemed like it was nearly impossible to satisfy my parents - they were always more focused on what I "did wrong" or "didn't do well" while everything good I did was considered as something I was simply obliged to do ( "don't expect me to clap for you because you decided to...").
You remember these moments (I bet you do!) you felt like life was just so unfair because all your mom was doing was nagging,being unsatisfied,hardly appreciative and always comparing you to the other kids while making all your efforts seem so tiny, totally "expectable","ordinary",unnoticeable and irrelevant compering to what she "gave you in return"?
You were young but,still,let me ask you,between you and I : How did you feel at that point of time? Angry?Sad? Unappreciated? Misunderstood? Helpless? Felt like running away?Was there constant fear that you might be doing something wrong? Some maybe felt not loved enough?Worthless?
Even though now you clearly know you parents love you more than anything in this world and all this "torture" was always out of the best intention,most of the time this kind of "approach" had an opposite/side effect at some point - moment you taste a bit of freedom or autonomy you feel like doing everything opposite you been told. Rebellion and Revolt yea? Bad is all they see anyways.
I suppose we all grown ups now. So imagine,today,at your age,someone who suppose to be your backbone,best friend,your main source of love,support and understanding while facing a life is making you feel like this (again)? Out of love,out of fear,out of insecurities,doesn't really matter. What matters is the final effect you will have on the person you share your life with.
If you love them,speak life into them.
If you chose him/her by your good,free will,then believe in your choice. "I got you baby,it's ok,we can do it,Don't worry things are happening in our favor,Im here to hold you down." might be enough to give your loved one a wings to fly and supernatural strength to believe,later preform miracles.
Tell him/her how great he/she is,how you believe there is nothing he/she can't do. Tell him/her you are proud. Show him/her you amazed. Trust him/her. Encourage him/her with positive mind,thoughts and faith. Discover each other's powers.Don't judge,don't nag. The reason you know your partner's "dirty laundry" is because he/she trusted you enough to share it with you and he/she needs you to console him/her in return. Not judge. Appreciate honesty. Stop this silly "police questioning",instead-go have fun together!You both must be free of drama so you can give and get the best out of you and still get to enjoy it-together.
You should be a blessing to each other,not a punishment.