Jealousy : Acceptable,Normal or a Relationship Killer?

I don't think there is a human being that is not familiar with this demonic feeling. 

It simply lays in each and every of us.

Jealousy is just a part of our imperfect human's nature,whether we are rich,poor,successful,wanted etc.

But what exactly is jealousy all about?

Is that a manifestation of love? Lust? Care? 

Is it ok to be jealous?

To what extent?

Well,personally I don't think anything good ever came out of jealousy. 

No bond were built,no problem got solved,no relationship got stronger.

Remember I called it a demonic feeling? Why? Because it can only crush and destroy. It can suffocate,take a life out of relationship and turn it into a worst nightmare.

Jealousy is nothing but a manifestation of a FEAR. 

Fear that we are not good enough. Appealing enough. Smart enough. Attractive enough. Interesting enough,and that someone else will be all that to a person we care about.

Source of jealousy is not in the other person,it is NOT your partner's fault (no matter what he/she does) simply because it's up to us to build our self esteem strong before we get into a relationship with another human being. When you are sure of your worth,who can make you doubt it?

Fear can also come from negative past experiences. You are afraid of being mistreated or betrayed again,so you turn into a possessive beast with a new partner. What if he/she never meant to betray you? What if you are with a person who also looks for honest relationship? Would you be ever be able to see it and enjoy that amazing person God sent your way?

If you ever had a possessive partner,you surely know how difficult is to deal with someone that never trusts you or acknowledges your efforts.It's extra exhausting. You are literally forced  into proving yourself constantly.  It kills intimacy,fun,good times,and most importantly it directly affects freedom of the other person and turns something that suppose to be a beautiful Union between two people into a prison. 

Another fact is,as I always say: what you focus on grows. More you direct your energy towards particular matter,you will definitely start seeing more of it. You will go through the exactly the same pain of being betrayed and cheated on just from mental pictures and false beliefs  you created by yourself in your own head. 

Jealousy is extremely contentious. It starts with one single though. Then thoughs start building up towards the same direction. Before you know you are absolutely out of hand,with no self control or awareness of your actions.

Oh boy,I have been there and I know it's terrible. It's like illness. And I can never go back there. 

We already agreed that jealousy lives in all of us,so it's on us to conquer it. To suffocate it. To ignore false beliefs by focusing on a beautiful truth about your partner.

If you truly feel like you can't trust person you are with,you can as well walk away because there is no point of building a life with a person you don't find trustful. Common,it doesn't make any sense.

But if you are aware of damage jealous behavior brings,then you have to work on yourself. If you don't,you will have the exactly same issues even if you end up with the most perfect person in the world. 

So ,jealousy might manifests  in a relationship with your partner,but it's truly nothing but an reflection of inner conflict caused by a low self esteem. Fall in love with yourself,accept yourself,work on becoming the best possible version of yourself (mentally,physically,emotionally,spiritually) and once you are sure of what truly define you and positive about your own worth,you will get all the strength needed to suffocate jealousy that lays in you.

Remember how they say : "In order to love another human being,you have to love yourself first ".

XoXo 

Thank you so much for all the love,support,shares and subscribes. You are always more than welcome to share your own thoughts and stories with OSB readers and me,of course. 

Much Love