I received tones of messages and emails recently from mostly young girls asking me to help them understand why it seems like they can't find a man that wants anything deeper then a casual sexual relationship.
You probably feel like you are doing something wrong and that problem must be in you since no man is interested in having a stable relationship with you.
That is how you developed an opinion about yourself : that you are not worthy enough,intelligent enough,interesting enough. Otherwise why would they see nothing but couple of breast and ass in you.
See what is the thing:
When you don't know what defines you and when you are not familiar with your own worth,you lack confidence.
Once you lack confidence you are weak and men can feel it because it comes with fears (just like in jungle where predators look for vulnerable,weak,timid animals,but you won't see lion going after a tiger). That is why you are their target when they are trying to "get lucky".
You feel lost,confused,insecure,and you need man's attention desperately so you can feel better in your skin.
Especially when you desperately want to be engaged in a serious relationship,you secretly tend to give a chance to everyone,and everyone is a potential boyfriend to you until they prove you that was not what they came for.
Men do take advantage of a woman that is not aware of herself because that woman is in constant fear. She is afraid to say "NO" because she does not want to push her "potential boyfriend" away.
She is afraid to stand for herself and she drops her criteria and standards so low and that is why men find space to treat her anyhow.
Then after they finish with you and you see them next day with another girl or they stop picking your calls ,you start feeling terribly useless and worthless.
It is well my dear.
No one was born wise. Young girls do not know because no one teaches them.
No one teaches young girls self love and self respect. They simply PROHIBIT us from doing particular things (we anyways end up doing most of the times) because it's "wrong", "shameful" or "disgraceful" but they still don't teach us our worth,powers and many reasons why we run this game and why are we a captains of their ships. They don't teach us to believe in ourselves and our worth,instead they teach us to be afraid of being judged,pointed at or labeled.
So nothing is wrong with you. You have so much to offer,in fact I am sure you are much more then you know now. But instead of focusing so desperately on getting a man who will love you and adore you for who you are,you should first learn how to love and adore yourself for who you are. Find what you are good at and embrace it to perfection . Discover your skills,your strengths and understand that you are a precious diamond. Once you understand who are you and where you stand,what you bring to the table will give you a confidence on another level,guys will loose power they have over you and you will gain yours.
Treat yourself with so much love,pamper yourself ,do for yourself all these things you want to receive from your ideal man so your standards can rise up.
Most importantly,make peace with yourself and your life. Stop letting your past experiences make you feel bad about yourself. You are not your mistakes.We learn,we change we grow. 4 years ago I did not know 2% of what I know now.
Work on yourself doll and remember,
You are the boss.
You are honestly the epitome of a true Role Model, You are Gorgeous, Wise, A Career Woman, A Wife, and an even Amazing Mother! God Bless You Mrs. Ogbonna and Continue to be our Person Please! ☺️
ReplyDeleteLove this and all the other posts by the way! So please keep them coming, so inspirational!
Wow so inspiring thanks so much for these words.....
ReplyDeleteYou are so great and I admire u a lot reading your blog was an inspiration to me cos I know wat am going thru at the moment
ReplyDeleteYou are so great and I admire u a lot reading your blog was an inspiration to me cos I know wat am going thru at the moment
ReplyDeleteThanks guys! Much Love
ReplyDeletehow can i woman be this clever?bravo
ReplyDeletethis helped me a lot.blessings
ReplyDelete