When not to marry a person you have a child with?

It's easy to make a baby,and to be real,it often happens unplanned (well,at least one side didn't plan) with someone you don't really plan to share your life with. People can give you a million and one moral lesson about how wrong this is,put blame here or there,but truth is ,wrong or right,it happens all the time and guess what? Takes two to tango! 

Next step is-you want to use the child matter to make person marry you or stay with you because you are sure that's the only right thing to do,besides "he owns you that much ",not to mention a pressure society puts on you.

Wait a minute. Will that solve a problem or add some more?

Marriage is not a final destination. 

Marriage is just a beginning. 

Even in case two people that are soulmates that deeply love and care about each other ,relationship between man and a woman is a very complicated matter,you build and learn how to function with your partner every single day. It's a long way to go. A very bumpy ride. You will struggle to find solutions and compromises to overcome many personal differences.Compromise means mutual sacrifice so you can meet with your partner on a half way for sake of each others happiness and peace. It takes so much patience,understanding,support. Even tears and headaches at some points. Other person's failures,mistakes,pain becomes your own. Difficult huh?The only force on planet earth thar can make you go through all this and be ready to share a whole life with other person and give 100% of you,the best of you (with a smile on your face) is True Love.

So,ok,pressure was too much and yes he married you. And what then? You pleased society,or maybe you "got"a man you want but what kind of life will you have?

Remember,if one is not truly happy with idea of spending the life with you,truth is - he will never be capable of making you truly happy and instead of joy,happiness,support,appreciation

 and love you deserve (what marriage suppose to be about ),your life might turn into agony and frustration because the person will never care enough to compromise,give you what you want and put efforts needed to build a quality,healthy relationship with you.

And what is the best for your child?Home full of love,support and understanding,definitely. But,if you can't have it with parent of your kid then create it by yourself for the sake of your child. You can't take back the time. There is no time for regrets. But you can be reasonable.

Home filled with loneliness,bitterness,regrets or hate that is circulating in the air will make all of you suffer,especially your child!

Love can't be forced. Love must be mutual and free.. You are somebody's blessing not a choice by force .

The best is yet to come.
Please,repost and share 

Why is Woman's body still a taboo ?

Wrong is to kill,steal,lie,wrong is to throw shades,gossip,mind other people's business ,have stereotypes and prejudice.
Beautiful woman's body?
Ain't nothing wrong with that!
It's a piece of art.

"But why are men players?!! I am tired of being played!! "

Why are men players? Seems like the mystery can never be solved ! Women all around the world are wandering the same... Or.. Are they?

The truth is,you can't possibly expect everyone you come across to decide on building a life with you. That has nothing to do with how amazing,intelligent,beautiful,successful or kind you are. Don't take it personal,there is nothing personal about it. Simply,not everyone is for you.

Secondly,most men are not even players. They very clearly let you know whiat kind of relationship they want with you. How often does he call? Is he interested in knowing your life,fears,hopes,dreams,pains? How free are you with him? What of the quality of time and conversations you guys share? Does he participate in different segments of your life? Is he available when you need him or are you the only one  that keeps running to him  every time he decidedy  to lend you a little  piece of his "precious" time?

You see?You already understand the whole situation better? It's not as complicated as it seems.

But,on the other hand,we (women) have a talent to see exactly what we want to see. We are masters in finding excuses for men's behavior always hoping for change and when we finally face reality, we feel betrayed or played. We put so much effort,force and power to see what we seem to be so desperate for and that is the real reason why we find ourselves in relationship with someone who is actually-single! 

We end up heartbroken,bitter,angry,sad on that popular "all men are the same" line and at the same time crying because the Right One seems impossible to be found because the world is full of "deceivers,liars and players". But if you  consider the fact that you wеren't deceived by anyone else but yourself,you might  get rid of frustration and give yourself a chance to realize that there are (still!) good men out there that are willing to love one woman only and build a life with her.

You only need to listen to your heart and pay attention to feedback you get from the other person.

Remember that words can lie but actions never! People might not tell you their intentions,but they will always show you!

You want to get married so bad? This might help you..

People crave love. We fantasies about ideal romance with our soulmate . We want to settle down. Its all good and natural. We are humans and love is our purpose.
But why do people force on marriage so much without even having a correct idea of what marriage suppose to be about?("Will you get married,Why you not married,When u go marry,marry,marry,marry,marry").........................................

Getting married just for sake of getting married without minding a quality and nature of relationship between two people might be equal prison.

Don't get forced into getting married (because you are "not getting any younger"),don't marry because you developed habit of spending time with someone  or for the sake of pleasing other people's expectations.

Don't force/blackmail/pressure other person into marriage,no matter circumstances,because if one is not truly happy with idea of spending life with you,truth is - he will never be capable of making you truly happy and instead of joy and happiness you deserve your life might turn into agony and frustration.

Don't let society pressure you.
Don't settle.
There is NOTHING to be desperate for.
You have nothing to prove.
Follow your instincts. Trust your intuition.


Love is free - marry WHO you truly want and WHEN you want and let it be mutual.
Then you will be free to experience beauty and magic of sharing your precious life with another human being . I promise.
Love y'all

" Could his ex just die!"

Jealousy is such a terrible,annoying feeling. It can drive a human being crazy-literally.
People very  often get jealous even of things they can't possibly change : partner's past for example  (over what we stress ourselves exactly?lol) to the point it gets  ridiculous and we start doing stupid things.
Ain't nobody got time for that bebe! Love is the most beautiful blessing,enjoy it! You should never hate or be jealous of your partner's exes, in fact,you should feel happy and grateful! Thank them from the bottom of your heart. 

They are probably the reason your partner loves and appreciates you this much ;) 

BabyMama Drama : is blackmailing,threatening and manipulating ok?

The gospel truth is that we (women) sacrifice a lot (naturally way more than men) for sake of having a child,and we definitely must go through a serious mental,emotional and physical shock often followed by depression and wilding hormones,so even if you have a man by your side that loves and adores you it's still not easy.( you can read  about my own experience in previous posts).

Honestly,I can't even imagine how single mothers are coping!Women are officially the strongest creatures in the world! Y'all are my heroes!

But...

What of a baby daddy? He might have done you wrong,lied,played,cheated or simply didn't take you serious enough to share his life with you. He is the reason you have been through hell and your pain and frustration slowly turns into hate and bitterness. You wanna make him pay and punish him for making you suffer,but very often forgetting one thing:

That man might not be the ideal partner,he might not be the One God planned for u,but he is still the only father of your child. And he might be a good and perfect dad to your baby and give him/her all he/she needs from a father while growing up. Please,keep in mind that him being a dad and being a partner are two different social roles he got,so don't  bring your disappointment,anger,frustration in between him and his(your) child,not for his sake (I know you might feel like he doesn't deserve to come close to the baby) but for the sake of your child because every single child needs influence of both parents (when possible). It's extremely important,for every child,to have a healthy,loving relationship with both parents,not to grow believing that he/she was abounded or not wanted or loved enough or that one parent is evil,wicked etc. Such a feeling towards a parent is simply not natural and it will affect the child's social development and might be a reason of numerous personal issues ,insecurities and serious anxieties he/she might face later on.  

So,as long as the guy is man enough to accept his responsibilities as a father ,you have no right to stop him from doing so. Don't ever use your child as a weapon of manipulation and blackmail,even if you do it "in the name of love" by trying to make him stay in your life. Love can't be forced!
 Don't ever let your child hear you speak bad about his/her father. It hurts so bad and it will make your baby suffer from inside.
Stop threatening,cut the drama - I bet you strongly believe your baby father needs to be punished but I need you to understand that the only person that will seriously and permanently be affected (mentally,emotionally,socially) is your kid!

Find a space in your heart to forgive him (and yourself). You need a peace in your heart if you want to prosper.Everything happens for a reason,and at the end of the day,if not for that man you won't have that beautiful little human being by your side. You need to be adults enough to give your child the best possible from the both sides and that should be your focus !
And as for your love life,don't worry ,it's never too late. Your life is not over,nether is it wasted. There is a man meant for you only. That one who will love,appreciate and accept you and everything that comes with you.
The best is yet to come . Remember hate alone is enough to separate you from your creator.

 Please share 

Inspiration of a week- Linda Ikeji

Well,I must confess that I admire this lady for so long. She makes me feel good because she is a proof that woman doesn't need anyone else to succeed in life but herself! Strong,independent,successful,smart,beautiful,influential woman! Self made! I am so inspired from the bottom of my heart,she gives me hope!
Happy birthday Linda,wish you everything your heart desires.

Word or two about TERRORISM/EXTREMISM & RELIGION

The most priceless thing we are getting from ANY religion is faith and love we need especially during tough times. It suppose to give us peace,wisdom,bring happiness and joy into our hearts,remind us to stay grateful and faithful,humble and teach us how to generously share and care about the others. 

I get so upset when so called "God fearing" people that spent almost every Sunday of their lives in church still misunderstood the main point of religion in general. 

No religion or belief makes you superior or inferior then others,so you have no right to look down or generalize others that have different beliefs then you.

The truth is  - all beliefs you have are results of what society/family you was brought up in though you,and we DONT choose where are we going to be born at.

In fact I believe that there is only ONE God but different ways of approaching Him through different religions . 

I was born in a Christian family but as a human,I take quite personal the way the rest of the world labels Muslims. 

No religion is bad and also EVERY religion can become a weapon of manipulation if misinterpreted ,not only Islam. 

Terrorism is a political creation hiding behind misinterpreted version of one religion and it exists thanks to lack of education,poverty and messed up system that creates generations of miserable humans that have nothing to lose and automatically they become a victims of brainwashing turning into slaves of other people's interests.

Crimes in the name of religion are committed all through history and not only when it comes to Islam ( just that crimes that were not mentioned often fall into oblivion) and religion itself is (with ethnical and racial differences) extremely powerful way of manipulation and in no time it can create hatred  and bloody conflict and wars between millions of people.

Western Countries have absolute monopoly over massive media and its in their interest to create an image according their taste of the particular sides of the world.  It's pretty much all about the intrest.
Anytime I on TV its about terrorism and extremism and thousands of dead in here or there,which is really sad because those are all innocent men,women and children but nobody will ever give you number of victims (equally innocent) every "Peaceful mission" of Western countries  left behind in numerous countries of Asia,Africa,East Europe and South America. 

Religion should be way of bringing people together,it should be less of institutional more of a spiritual phenomenon.
We are all equally humans. 

At the end of the day,does God have religion?

Please share with your friends. We need love and understanding to coexist together on this planet earth.

Before is too late!!!!!

Drop your phones. Leave Instagrams and SnapChats for a second . Look around you. 

Sometimes I feel sad because it seems like us,human kind,takes so much for granted.

We started dealing with a real life mechanically,while all our focus and attention is on whole another dimension. 

You eat,drink,hang out,chill,communicate by staring at your phones. We spend hours  doing idiotic ridiculousness in front if our cameras. 

We started taking humans around us for granted in the name of people that pop out from our phone screens. We get so busy "following" lives of people we have nothing to do with forgetting that our magical moments are passing as we are becoming strangers with ones we love the most without knowing that these people are not always going to be there,by our sides.

Leave your phone for a second. Admire your food. Take deep breath.Enjoy your drink. Make eye contact. Smile. Hug . Kiss. Laugh. Make someone happy.

Don't forget purpose of our existence and what life is all about.

Tricks and secrets that will make him/her fall in love - get a man/woman you always wanted!

Well,It's been a while since I started getting emails from different people world wide asking me "how to get a man and keep him as well".

So I decided to let y'all know some few little things I have learnt from my own experience: 
No,it's not about the million and one psychological games of seduction that we read in magazines.

First and foremost: the foundation of every healthy,productive relationship and mutual honest love between two people is nothing but-self love!That means we need to love and embrace ourselves just the way we are without faking or pretending. Why?

The reason why we hold ourselves of being who we truly are in front of the person we have feelings for is because we are afraid of loosing or chasing that person away which automatically means we don't consider ourselves good or worthy enough. But the thing is, we very often forget  that the only way to discover who is really meant to be part of our lives is by facing them with our true,naked nature and their capabilities of handling it. 

The truth is,if you pretend or hide things about yourself ,if your behavior is programmed to please a man following his likes and dislikes,it means you don't love yourself enough to be comfortable and free enough to be the unique imperfect YOU! In that case,how would you expect the other person to recognize and appreciate your worth if you don't know it yourself?
Besides,only a  man that is introduced to your worst and still have the power to see the best in you can possibly treat you the way you deserve.

With the way you love and treat yourself you set example for others that enter your life,and how would you expect the other  person to recognize and do the things for you that you can't do yourself.  

The Bottomline is: Love must be effortless and smooth. Love is shameless and feels right. If you must force it on someone,then its not for you! You need to be loved for who you really are-nothing more nothing less than that!
 Love doesn't brings doubts,headaches,wanders or tension. Love is not slippery,it can't be snatched away from you nether can you trick or manipulate someone to love you.

Love is free and it can never be chased.

So start your ideal romance with yourself first before anyone else,so you can be bold and proud enough to -be yourself with any other person. Then you will be completely able to give and receive love in the real meaning of that Word which will open doors for the Right One to enter. 

If you like the post,please share with your loved ones.,let them know:Love is a beautiful thing,driving force  and purpose of our existence and we all have right on it!

You feel misunderstood/heartbroken/lonely/sad/frustrated and your partner just won't listen? Here you go:

Do you remember the time when you were a kid and your mom would hysterically shout at you?Did you ever pay attention on the point she was trying to make? Or you would just wait for the storm to pass thinking of how you gonna disappear with the speed of light in unknown direction as soon as she is done? 

That is exactly how your partner feels like when you have hysterical performance about the same issue for a 1235221 time this week,feeling so helpless,sad,angry and frustrated (all in one) because "he just wouldn't get it". No,it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. But you can't expect from the person to focus on the point you are trying to make if you uncontrollably raise your voice,attacks,cry and complain. You will push the person away and even worse,you will put yourself through so much stress,pain and  unnecessary tears.

Before you get yourself involved in a conversation,remember:

1) You two are not an enemies. Together you have been through a lot,so you play for the same team not against each other!

2)You don't compete on proving each other who is right or wrong. It's about putting yourself in your partner's shoes and solving issues and misunderstandings,not about playing smart.

3)Forget that popular "I told you so" line. I know it's so tempting sometimes but remember that person you love so much needs your love,support and words of encouragement when things go wrong,so don't rub his/hers  failure in his/hers face,you will only make the whole situation worse.

4) Remember that you listen to your partner to UNDERSTAND him not to REPLY him/her. This isn't a court case. We are all different,we see the same things from very different perspectives because we all naturally have different points of view,so does your partner. Conversation is there to help us get into our man/woman's shoes so we can understand where he/she coming from. 

5) The most annoying thing ever is when another person accuses you of something,especially when you know you are not guilty,so don't do it to others. Stop assuming and accusing. Sometimes our insecurities makes us create a whole story in our heads and we get mad or hurt over something that exists only in our minds,,but to be fair enough,that has nothing to do with your partner. Be honest and feel free to express your feelings,fears,doubts without accusing or attacking.

6) Before any argument ask God to give you wisdom to speak and patience and understanding while listening,and the same for your partner. It's not about creating a whole lot of drama ,it's about solving issues .

7)Dont ever insult or call names no matter how angry or hurt you are. Love and Respect must always go together,no matter the situation. 

8)Don't let one issue make you forget all the amazing and beautiful things your partner has been doing for you ever since! That is a person who loves you and wishes  you nothing but the best!

When does she needs you the most?

I used to be free like a bird. My nature is wild,stubborn and spontaneous. You could hardly find me at the same spot twice.I am extremely outgoing person,I feel like I am suffocating if I stay indoors for too long. I was here and there. Happened to me that I left my house with an idea of going for a drink and I ended up in another country. That spontaneous. Well,we are all different and what gives our being a purpose is that unique nature we poses. This is mine.

But then - boom! 

You become a mom.

Literally over night your life changes totally and completely. I can't lie,it's the most beautiful feeling ever and having a chance to feel such an unconditional,pure love is a purpose of our existence. 

But with type of person I am,changing a lifestyle wasn't easy at all!I got to understand that,doesn't matter how supportive or carrying your partner is,the fact is his life is not going to change as close as your own and I constantly have feeling like I am being owned!

 I love my son more than anything in the world,but its very hard for me to adapt,most of all to get used to limited movements . I have been thought depression,frustration and at some point I felt so helpless and bitter.

Sometimes I have feeling like there is nobody to understand me. I was so disappointed when I realized that people expect you to adapt instantly like its not a big deal  on the fact that you are not living life for yourself anymore and even though sacrifices we all (women) make is natural and necessary, people around us need to understand that it could be painful and frustrating process. If you dare to complain you are already labeled as selfish wicked witch.

Role of a mother turns woman in the strongest being on planet earth,and at the same time creates the most vulnerable creature ever. 

At this point of our lives there can never be enough of Love,Attention,Appreciation   and Understanding. We are starving for it,and its all natural. You are not alone.

So fellas...... Listen up...

There is no time for excuses. Don't take her sacrifices for granted! It won't be easy all the time,women can be difficult (I knowww) ,but if there is a time when your woman is going to needs you,it's definitely that part of her life.

Be there. One kiss,strong hug,little surprise and words of love and appreciation (regularly,don't be stingy with your love!lol) can remove so much pain,don't you know? 

Are you tired of not having enough? You want wealth and life in abundance?

The little secret that will lead you to wealth and life in abundance:

1) GRATITUDE

You can't expect to be rewarded with more if you are not grateful for what you already have. You must never take any little thing for granted. You need to feel strong,deep happiness from the bottom of your being every single day for everything you are already blessed with. Write a list of graduate down-start from your health,family,friends,that cup of coffee,little cozy chats we have everyday with our loved ones,food you eat,drinks you drink,beautiful sky you see when you look through the window,air you breathe etc. You will be surprised how many things you took for granted are actually priceless and necessary in our lives. Gratitude automatically fills your heart with happiness,joy and reminds you of how blessed you ALREADY are. It will instantly make you feel good. And you need to FEEL good if you want to invite good things your way!

2) BE GENEROUS!

What is funny about stingy people is that they never see themselves as stingy but rational. They have belief that they are saving things by not sharing. What a myth! If you don't share whatever you have that means you live in constant fear of lacking,which automatically means you deep inside settled for not having enough! Be aware of that famous "I don't have now" line you use every time  you asked for a favor - more you repeat it,it will eventually become your reality!  Don't doubt your wealth! It's there and its YOURS! Manifest that belief by sharing goods with others and let it brings you joy! You are a rich person!You are blessed enough to help others!

Welcome to a life of your dreams!

"OMG NIGERIANS!! What are you doing with my son???!"

I need tell you what happened to me!

So lately,I have been through one proper emotional shock. 

I was in Europe 2 months after I delivered my child ,my husband went back after 2 weeks because of work. Even thou having a child is the most beautiful blessing anyone can receive,it wasn't easy adapting to this entirely new situation that I found myself in. 

Naturally ,while I was in Europe,I developed my own ways to handle totally new chapter of my life and honestly I could not wait to go back to Nigeria to be with my husband again.Wow,was so excited. But then.....

I swear I just finished one very chaotic episode of my life. First of all,I never knew I was going to miss my mom this much. Whole my life I have been living in different parts of the world and,normally,I always missed her in a way,but it was nothing really dramatic. Guys,this time,the pain in my heart I felt was literally like someone,God forbid,died. After me becoming mother,I have finally got to understand her soooo well which made me soooo attached to her. My love for her was on another level! For two most precious

months of my life she was there for me,helping in the best possible way and it was just so difficult for me to leave.

So I came to Nigeria already kind of heartbroken to now understand that - the way people here take care of a baby was totally different then everyyyythinggg  I was taught. From bathing,holding,carrying,to the way they put babies to sleep etc. Normally,there should be nothing dramatic about that-totally expectable,right?

But add wilding hormones,drastic change of environment,two different continents,different lifestyles,electricity issues,limited movements,lack of social life and the end,I was so emotionally attached to the everything I learnt from my mother that it was so painful seeing my child being handled in any other way. So silly right? At some point I was feeling so depressed that I was sure I was about to go crazy lol

I guess I have been through so much changes at ones that it was hard for me to adapt and what even made it worse is the fact I always had feeling like nobody understands what Im going through because nothing concrete happened to put me into that kind of terrible mood.

Well,one week after-here I am. Writing you with huge smile on my face and yes,I didn't go crazy,still got my common sense (well,at least I think so lol). Depression is chased away,gratitude and joy are back!

Now I see how blessed I am to be influenced by so many different cultures,it gives you priceless life experience and wisdom ,and I am so happy my son have privilege to take the best from both amazing different sides and traditions. Cultural differences can only show you that there could be a million different ways of doing one thing,and  none of them are wrong!

We are all different,yet we are all the same and each culture is beautiful in their own way! Love and embrace your own but free your mind  enough to learn from others as well!

Differences are blessing to humans kind!

Try and leave people better than you found them

As humans ,no matter how we carry ourselves or form,we all naturally have certain amount of insecurities we have to deal with so you didn't really succeed in life if u managed to bring someone down . That's the easiest thing to do. Piece of cake,knowing our vulnerable human's nature.
But what takes effort and makes you powerful being is capability of spreading positivity & helping someone grow emotionally,spiritually and mentally. Support and encourage each other. There is sooo much good in you,you have a million ways to add into someone's life.

Only Strong,Confident,Beautiful and Fulfilled People can do such.
P.S. The secret is,the most arrogant and cocky people are the most  vulnerable and insecure ones,so don't take their behavior towards you personally. It's just them trying to fight their own issues.
Happy Sunday

Check this woman out: Chidera Okolie

I am my sisters keeper! Women power! Inspiration of a week! I will always give a shout out to ladies that motivates me!

This amazing lady is proof that beauty and brains goes together! Amazing young writter,gorgeous Goddess,positive human,wise lady,spiritual being,ambitious go getta,and on top all,she is super fun! Intellectual beast! Alll in one! I admire her  soooo much!!! You go girl! Us women,we sooo powerful! Sky is a limit!

I neeeeeeds yooour helppp babesss

Would you please share your testimony with me? I need your positivity as same as you need mine. Im hear to listen now.....Make me happy,share beautiful parts of your life :) I am expecting your mails at soniaogbonna1@hotmail.com

KISSES

Love = Pain?

You noticed how people talk so much about "love"? No phenomenon was ever discussed more then love.We use this word so easily,we hear it every day,here,there,but can I ask u something?How many of you really know deep and complex meaning of it?Can you define me love?
Some use love as a weapon of manipulation and emotional blackmail acting like love obligate us to behave certain way or to do/not do certain things.
People would try to control you,own you,lock you down and tight you up and make u give up on your life,dreams and destiny ,force you to always prove this or that in the name of "love".They be telling you that love comes with pain,drama,tears and sleepless nights and that jealousy is a proof we care.
Took me so much time,maturity,experience and wisdom to finally understand "love" and to learn how to make a difference between love and infatuation,habit,comfort etc.
Love is totally effortless,easy going,smooth. Love is freedom. That,if you honestly love person you will never try to keep him away from his personal destiny or life goals but you will be the one bringing him closer to his purpose.A strength,support,adviser,motivation. Not a police control.
Love is a teacher. You pour up wisdom,knowledge,energy,courage and power into each other,you upgrade each other. You make each other better. You should never forget that you two are the team,never enemies that are secretly  going tru each other's phone looking for evidences of betrayal.Why would u always expect d worst ?Learn how to give your trust and STOP bringing bad experiences from past into new chapters of your life as an extra luggage.U have been misunderstood,hurt or betrayed before,but we all were!Stop using it as an excuse for your bitterness or desperation and finally let go of it!Life is amazing and there is ONLY ONE person in this whole wide universe  that is meant for you,so no wander it didn't work out with others.But before everything,until that right one steps into your life, u have a homework to do -learn how to passionately,honestly ,deeply love - yourself first.That's the only way you can beat demons inside of you and get ready to receive and give love - in the real meaning of that word.

Nothing as annoying as "wife material"

Why does some women brag about being wife material? What do you exactly mean by that? Are you trying to tell me that there is one particular way of behaving,acting,talking,dressing etc woman needs to practice in case she wants to get married? I can't agree with that. It's true love and respect we have for one we love that gradually changes and shape us into better people once we get involved with the right person,not some silly tittle you attach to yourself because you cook and clean well. 

I believe each of us have our soulmate somewhere on this planet earth. That one person that will love you and understand you and your nature and all your mistakes without judging,person that will accept you just the way you are,with all your perfect imperfections and at the same time still be capable of changing and influencing you (effortlessly!) for better and that is the same way you will affect his/hers life (naturally).

The way I was annoyed with the whole idea of marriage,y'all can just imagine what kind of "wife material " I used to be.In fact,I think I was doing everything opposite of what is considered as "wife material" behavior. Simply out of my stubbornness,revolt and rebellion against fake moral norms of society we living in (ironically,Im still married today lol).

Before you try to impress and give the best of you to someone,make sure person is willed and capable of handling your worst and hold you down in different situations life can bring. 

Before trying to be "wife material" so badly,try and be your true self first. Real you. Natural you. Nothing to prove,I swear. That is the only way you will find true love- someone who will love real you and not impression of you that you created.

When you get rid of mask and embrace your true nature you will be capable of meeting The One that will love you for who you are,the one that will know your worst and never use it against you. And that one is the only one who deserves a good woman in you in every possible way.

Jealousy is actually..... Expression of fear ! Be aware!

Successful people are always ready and willed to support others . In fact they are happy seeing other people prospering. Why?Because they are 100% sure of their own blessings. They don't doubt prosperity and goods that are coming their way,they believe in their own success so hard that there is no fear that will leave space for jealousy or envy. That is why they are not afraid to help others rise. They know there is enough of everything for everyone. The ones that are deep inside settled for failure are the ones that will throw different kind of shades on others trying to sabotage their steps forward because they are living in constant fear that other person will come snatch what they want. 

Let's be real-its natural to feel jealous at moments when it seems someone is smoothly and effortlessly getting things we would wish for ourselves. Jealous is that dark side of human's nature and it lives in all of us. But we must tame it. Control it. Suffocate it. Because its a proof that we within ourselves settled for not having what we desire. And we truly get whst we settle for and what we settle for we manifest with our behavior,so be aware!

 Put effort to turn envy into admiration. Thank God for other's that are getting it because they are prove that ITS POSSIBLE. That you could do the same thing your way. Choose to be motivated instead of jealous every single day.

Don't you know what we give we get in return? By trying to sabotage others you only sabotage- yourself .

Set yourself free by helping and supporting others. You will see how your life will change!

"Will You Leave Me Alone?!!!"

Don't take people's behavior towards you personal. There is absolutely nothing to do with you. The way people talk about or behave towards others is the way they actually transparently show you and clearly let you know about themselves. You will come across people that will try to intimidate you,INTENTIONALLY try to make you feel bad,but guess what:

1) If someone's action or words do affect you in negative way,then again,it's not them,it's YOU! How? Others can make you feel bad about things you are ,between you and yourself alone,already insecure about. 

2) And as for those ones that are trying so hard by many different ways to bring you down intentionally (doesn't matter if it's in real life or social media),again,nothing to do with you. That is way people actually fight their own personal battles and demons ,trying to find ways to make themselves feel worthy,comfortable,secure,or maybe they see your potentials and their insecurities got them feel so inferior and worthless comparing to you so they have need to distract you and convince themselves that you not THAAAT good. 

Once you truly understand that mean comments directed to you have absolutely nothing to do with you,you will feel way better and surely relieved. (Me personally,I take it as a compliment,well damn thank you for reminding me of how good I am doing;) ).

Second,try and have understanding and develop some kind of empathy for this people instead of wanting to "deal with them"-they suffer terrible inner confusion,pains and misery,and trust me-you would not try and be in their shoes,not for a single day! 

Remember,you can't possibly be happy with oher person's life if you are not happy with your own!

Kisses 

Marriage?? Me?? No wayyyyy!!

Believe it or not I had this kind of attitude towards marriage for so long. In fact I hated institution of marriage,I thought there is absolutely not need for it. What I saw from my parent's example got me concluded that marriage is pretty much an institution that turns women in maids (free of charge oh,no salary at the end of a month!) and men don't even show any excitement or gratitude in return (well,that's the way it should be huh?).

On top if all this ,they will ask you "Will he marry you?" like two people can get married only when man decides so. Wait a minute! What the heck! Will I marry him!? What If I don't want to marry him? What if I just wanna have fun? Why do some societies makes it seem like man do woman a favor if HE decides to marry her. Are all women in this world sitting somewhere waiting to get married?? So annoying. It's the same way I could not understand women that are desperate to get married. For what? I had feeling like we give/sacrifice so much (naturally) by getting involved in marriage that we should never be desperate for it. In fact we suppose to be someone's blessing. Yes we need to be deserved! They need to prove us they worth our time! We need to be Appreciated! Not to settle for less. Definitely NOT to act desperate!

Lol see bitter attitude I had towards marriage. Serious matter oooh! didn't really plan it for myself... 

But then...........

One Igbo man entered my life and decided to use some special jazz on me ;) 

But soon I will tell you which kind of wahala he had to pass through until I changed my mind. 

Keep in touch 

Kisses and Hugs 

You feel so bad and anxious,sad and helpless and so alone. You think life is being unfair,Im saying you are being blessed!

You feel terrible. So sad. Lonely. Alone. You feel like life has been so unfair to you,and all this pain,frustration and disappointments you feel everyday make it seems impossible to move on and see good things coming your way again? Don't worry. In fact,smile. I have good news for you: Don't you know that you have to go very low so you can jump very high? 

My life experience thought me that the most difficult,darkest moments that makes us feel so helpless and depressed are just preparation for something amazingly great! BUT......

The little trick is,when you feel the worst and when all you want to do is to cry,moan and complain ,try this- start THANKING God . Thank Him for your life,for your health,for head on your shoulders,both arms and legs,for food you just ate,for friends and family,thank Him for all this times He was there for you. All this times something really bad could happen but it didn't. All this times you felt like you got rewarded. Loved. All beautiful moments of happiness. More you feel need to complain,challenge your mind and thank more! On loud,focus! Let gratitude fill your heart and replace any other negative emotion you feel and have need to express. Why? If you try it,you would know. 

Gratitude is a key to prosperity. It works like magic,and it can instantly bring us places where we want to be,meanwhile complains have an opposite effect - they keep us in prison of bitterness,darkness,helplessness and sadness.

It's easy to smile and be grateful when things are going your way,but what makes difference between people is the way we respond to though situations. Successful people channel their mind to see good in every situation,no matter now impossible that seems sometimes. Successful people don't let dark moments make them act ungrateful and forget all amazing miracles that already preformed in their lives soooo many times. Heart full of gratitude is a ticket for new blessings,because it shows exactly what we settled for!

So be excited and grateful. This is just a challenge you have to pass,а test to show if you deserve all precious things that are already sent your way. Everything happens in your favor-don't you know we must step out of the comfort zone to prosper?

Besides,did you ever come across problem that can't be solved? 

Wait........Nigeria??!!!

Yes Nigeria! You should follow me to see which kind of colorful reactions I get from people when I tell them where I live at : OMG ebola?are you not scared of Boko Haram?is it dangerous?is it safe?but why Nigeria?does lions walk on the road in Africa like daily?oh from Europe to Lagos,strange..etc

They don't understand my heart is here. Propaganda affect (brainwashes) people's minds,they only see bad and they are always prepared to fear something and that's how they miss the most magnificent moments/places in this world.

First time I came to Nigeria I didn't know my husband,but I had unexplainable desire to visit. Guys...I can't explain  that feeling! Like my heart knew that this amazing land keeps something that belongs to me ,something that is part of my destiny.

Today when I look at my son and my man,I feel so proud of myself that I was bold enough to blindly follow and listen to my heart. 

It's never about how it seems like,It's all about how it feels like! Remember that!

Your heart knows more then your mind and common sense does. Our hearts and intuition are language that our nature use to speak to us. Don't ignore it. Close your eyes and talk to your heart,because heart knows exactly where you need to be and what you have to do.

Much love!

Life of your dreams VS "Logical thinking"

All my life I am hearing people referring to LOGICAL THINKING like its something positive/good.Well I don't think so.
There is absolutely nothing logical about life!  Does each of us understand how electricity works? No,but we know how to turn light on and we know how to make use of it! Do you know amount of unbelievable,magical and logically hardly acceptable paths we ALREADY crossed at the time was wasn't even totally aware of our existence? Just remember that we were born as totally helpless beings. Did we bother how we will learn to talk(doesn't sound simple to me though)? Look at us now! The same helpless tiny little human is the one who invented same electricity his own kind can't still understand totally.

Bottoms line is,dont let overthinking kill your dreams. If you let your mind go that direction.you will find million "logical" reason why something could go wrong and why it wouldn't work. 

Stop holding yourself back. Don't think too much. "Logical thinking" is nothing more then product of someone's+your own bad experiences united with a fear of failure.Very relative category that is (in my opinion) overrated. Shout it down. It's a distraction!

On you is to focus with all your being,visualize where you want to be,and truly love what you doing. Everything else will simply fall into place and way to your dream will be created effortlessly.Challene your mind: try and let me know 

The 

Forget what you have been told!

Ok,let's start from the beginning:
While growing up I was (like most of you) told that I should prepare to struggle,suffer and not  to expect much because life is simply- hard. It seemed to me like any sort of fun and enjoyment was expected from"spoiled ones thar don't know life" and judged somehow like its a sin to be happy and have all you wish for. I remember how society was referring to few successful ones like they number one category of sinners attaching different kind of colorful names to them (ritualist,thief,criminal,etc)

But then.......Then I grew up a bit and started finding all this kind of ,well..annoying! Are we really brought into this world to play a role of a victim? Why is it acceptable to complain,moan and cry because of "life being hard and unfair " but people laugh at you,call you crazy and telling you to stop dreaming and face reality when you tell them about your super high ambitions and plans (my parents used to do that a lot) ??

The truth I discovered is that life is nothing but reflection of your beliefs. If you expect rough times to happen to you,then-guess what? Prepare to receive what you settled for! Happiness and Suffering are such a relative categories,they have absolutely nothing to do with how much we have or lack,they are not product of circumstances but our points  of view. 

If you take a piece of paper and write all things you are blessed with and all beautiful miracles that are constantly happening in your life,all this times you were saved and protected,you will understand how unfair is to complain about life and refer to it as "suffering struggle".

Let's start this journey with grateful heart thanking for this magical beautiful life we got. 

Step 1: 

I want you to say it on loud,every day,to feel it in your chest ,in your bones,in your heart : "My unique amazing life,I love you,thank You for being so generous to me!"

You will see how right attitude and perception about life in general will change and affect every other segment of your life. 

That's a foundation of change you want to see!

Welcome to OUR blog

Your life will start changing from NOW! No excuses no delay! You are getting life you always wished for yourself !
I decided on this blog so I can use all passion,love and energy that is growing inside of me to show you that whatever you ever wished for IS available and possible.
I will share some very spicy life experiences of mine (you won't believe places my stubborn and wild nature took me to), I will introduce real,imperfect ME to you (no,I won't have much of shame) and why? Because long ago I stopped believing in Mistakes. I wIll show you how you can benefit from the most stupid "mistakes " and "wrong moves" you regret so hard. I will help you see that dark is actually preparation for light. I will help you recognize your ways,your own nature,your strengths and super powers. What I got for you is Understanding,love and support. No,we will try not to judge,right guys?
We will interact and discuss relationships,marriage,love,happiness.success,money,beauty,pregnancy,health (physical,spiritual and mental),motherhood..I mean,every single thing you wanna know about. Just ask. Feel free. Be curious.I will share with you all my tips and advices (personal pictures as well) ,also my struggles,doubts ,fears I got over and how,and special moments and you will share with me your own.
No more regrets,moans,tears,disappointments. Life is too beautiful.
Let's get where we need to be.
Little secret- You already got all it takes and its all  in you..I will just show you how to use it in the best possible way..
You know how they say - Friend in need is a friend in deed .
Much love and WELCOME once again,
Sincerely and very Personally Yours,

Sonia Ogbonna