Do you remember the time when you were a kid and your mom would hysterically shout at you?Did you ever pay attention on the point she was trying to make? Or you would just wait for the storm to pass thinking of how you gonna disappear with the speed of light in unknown direction as soon as she is done?
That is exactly how your partner feels like when you have hysterical performance about the same issue for a 1235221 time this week,feeling so helpless,sad,angry and frustrated (all in one) because "he just wouldn't get it". No,it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. But you can't expect from the person to focus on the point you are trying to make if you uncontrollably raise your voice,attacks,cry and complain. You will push the person away and even worse,you will put yourself through so much stress,pain and unnecessary tears.
Before you get yourself involved in a conversation,remember:
1) You two are not an enemies. Together you have been through a lot,so you play for the same team not against each other!
2)You don't compete on proving each other who is right or wrong. It's about putting yourself in your partner's shoes and solving issues and misunderstandings,not about playing smart.
3)Forget that popular "I told you so" line. I know it's so tempting sometimes but remember that person you love so much needs your love,support and words of encouragement when things go wrong,so don't rub his/hers failure in his/hers face,you will only make the whole situation worse.
4) Remember that you listen to your partner to UNDERSTAND him not to REPLY him/her. This isn't a court case. We are all different,we see the same things from very different perspectives because we all naturally have different points of view,so does your partner. Conversation is there to help us get into our man/woman's shoes so we can understand where he/she coming from.
5) The most annoying thing ever is when another person accuses you of something,especially when you know you are not guilty,so don't do it to others. Stop assuming and accusing. Sometimes our insecurities makes us create a whole story in our heads and we get mad or hurt over something that exists only in our minds,,but to be fair enough,that has nothing to do with your partner. Be honest and feel free to express your feelings,fears,doubts without accusing or attacking.
6) Before any argument ask God to give you wisdom to speak and patience and understanding while listening,and the same for your partner. It's not about creating a whole lot of drama ,it's about solving issues .
7)Dont ever insult or call names no matter how angry or hurt you are. Love and Respect must always go together,no matter the situation.
8)Don't let one issue make you forget all the amazing and beautiful things your partner has been doing for you ever since! That is a person who loves you and wishes you nothing but the best!